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-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

AMCarmody 28-01-2010 07:46 PM

Took a nap, loads more calm. Still shaking, still knowing we're about to spiral down and have an episode. When triggered it can't stop and boy was the trigger pulled.

But loads of love for all. Loads of hugs as well.

Scarletdreamer 28-01-2010 11:07 PM

Wow, a lot of postses... yey. :)

Alan, good luck with your job apps. *hug?* What type of jobs are you applying for?

Helen *big cuddles* I'm sorry that you're struggling right now... want to talk about it at all? or PM me (or someone else) if you don't want to post about it here?

LauraStar *cuddles* 2'F is effing cold, I agree!! It's supposed to be -20'F here (windchill) by tonight... my hair's wet right now & we're going shopping in a bit so I am going to have to do something to keep it from freezing, as it dries sooo slowly & we don't have a blowdryer. Haha. It's really odd when my hair does freeze - and it has before, walking back from the gym after a hot shower - rather funny looking, stiff strands of hair that poke out. But probably not good for it at all. Aaanyway... how was your day? ♥

LauraFriend *huggles* I'm glad that your day's been okay... what's the point in getting wasted? Sorry, have never drunk (or gotten drunk) even though I'm old enough to... heh. It seems a self-destructive (in the long-term at least) way of coping with issues rather than facing them. Just a thought. I know you're strong enough to cope... you've just got to find that strength. ♥

Annie *hugs* I'm sorry that you're feeling so bad... is there anything I/we can do to help? and I second what someone said earlier, does your partner know about the SI? Please try & take good care of yourself as best as you can.

I'm really tired & stressed & overwhelmed by school. I have so much stuff to do by next week & I am scared that I won't get it all done. :(

But I has a kitty in my lap who wants snuggles... anyone want kitty snuggles? :D

AMCarmody 28-01-2010 11:17 PM

*hugs for April*

Partner knows about bipolar and cancer and self-harm. He thinks we've stopped, he doesn't know about 'dissociation' while on an episode. We're going to spend weekend with him ... will be hard to hide.

We cheer you on and offer to help ... what's the coursework about? Maybe we could help you with some?

Oohh, kitten snuggles!!

brndedhero 29-01-2010 12:04 AM

*Hugs for Annie* I hope things work out for you this weekend with your partner, hopefully the more he knows and understands about you the more he can help you so it could work out for the best.

*Hugs for April* I'm applying for pretty much any IT/Computing jobs I can find, but there doesn't seem to be many jobs out there. If you're getting too tired and stressed you really should take a break from all this work if you know you can't get it all done it's probably a better idea to just do the stuff you can do in time well.

*Hugs MammaMia* I'm sorry I can't think of anything useful or reassuring to say, all I can do is offer a second hug *hugs*

*Hugs Laura* Nice to hear your day's been OK but if you don't want to or shouldn't see this guy then maybe you shouldn't, tell him you have to leave to play some epic games of rock paper scissors

So I managed to fall asleep after dinner and wake up a few hours later recently but seems as it's 11pm that means I will be awake until the early hours yet again. curses

Kahlia1981 29-01-2010 12:24 AM

*hugs everyone*

You ever get the feeling that one day is pretty much like another? That life is just crap and you really start to understand the lyrics to the M*A*S*H theme song (Suicide is Painless)?

Oh by the way... no community help was offered. I saw my GP yesterday and he suggested rebounding to the hospital but my housemate and I made it clear that they wouldn't accept me back. I was released from PICU in a suicidal state with no help. The health system here is a way of slowly killing people.

I'm just going to go sit in a dark corner until I disappear.

Scarletdreamer 29-01-2010 01:07 AM

*hugs Annie* I'm glad that your partner knows about those things... maybe tell him this weekend? If he loves you he won't harm you, physically/mentally, and if he does, well then, he's not worth your time. Sorry to be blunt but that's really how I feel. If he truly cares for you then he will accept you as you are. I hope that that doesn't offend. *offers another hug?*

Alan *hugs* I hope that you manage to find a job soon... seems like there ought to be all sorts of IT/computing jobs available but I guess with the recession(s) etc. things have gotten a lot worse than before. I just hope that I'll be able to find a job when I graduate (I'll be done in August, graduate in December if all goes well). I'm kind of scared about that... :ermm: I'm going to get everything done that I have to get done... no excuses for someone as a senior in uni. :( I hate that, or feeling like that, but oh well.

*cuddles Kahlia* I'm so sorry, sweetie, that they just let you off so easily. What did they do in hospital to try to help, or did they not do anything at all? med changes or anything? You have a psych, don't you? So you could talk with him/her about med changes, because maybe you need a med tweak right now? Sorry for all of the questions, just trying to brainstorm!! *more cuddles*

Listening to Pillar right now... just bought a new album at Walmart & uploaded it to my hubby's comp so it can go on my iPod. It's angry music... lol. Rocky & loud. My mum would HATE it. :P But I did hear about this awesome group called Anonymous 4 that is a group of four women who sing religious chants etc. from the 6th to the 14th century, I think. Heard them in Women & Spirituality last night & it was like all my anxiety (which was through the ****ing roof at the time) just disappeared... so yeh, really need to get that album!!!

*hugs everyone, then gets some LifeWater & a good book*

SoMuchMore 29-01-2010 01:39 AM

*cuddles for everyone* Sorry i can't do individual replies right now.. my brain is pretty much done for the day after 2 anxiety attacks and other drama..

I feel like I am being manipulated... but i can't put my finger on what the point would be.

MammaMia 29-01-2010 02:28 AM

*cuddles everyone lots*

Sorry, I can't do indvidual replies.

Keep having flashbacks tonight :'( They've stopped again for now at least. Plus panic attacks. Ugh. Had a really good laugh with my best friend J and we involved my other best friend G a little bit :P

Imaginary_friend 29-01-2010 03:22 AM

i get drunk because it's the only way i can cope. i guess it's just another form of self harm. but it is getting ridiculous. he doesn't even wanna see me. ****. why does it make me feel so bad? :( i just wanna hurt myself even more now. :'(
*hits her head against the wall and cries*

Kahlia1981 29-01-2010 09:11 AM

*cuddles everyone*

April: In hospital they put me into PICU to reduce the stimulation but other than that they did nothing. They told me one thing and then did nothing about it - I was supposed to get an ultrasound of my shoulder that never happened - I was put on brufen for the excruciating pain in my shoulder and that only once every 12 hours. No med changes. I don't have a pdoc or tdoc so I'm a bit out of my depth. They just wanted to get rid of me because I was taking up a bed that someone more worthy than me should have.

AMCarmody 29-01-2010 09:23 AM

*hugs everyone*

No sleep again. Sensory overload. Cold. Sleep but not quite. Headache. Arms and legs and tummy sting. Hungry. In 12 hours Partner finds out. We're scared of how he might react.

Kahlia1981 29-01-2010 12:03 PM

just wanted to give you all cuddles, and to please ask for some in return because I really need them.


Scarletdreamer 29-01-2010 12:33 PM

*BIG cuddles for Kahlia* I personally can't think of anyone more "worthy" of a bed than you, love... you need the help. Is there any way that you can get a tdoc/pdoc so you can get some meds etc.? I'm so sorry that they hardly did anything for you... that's awfully rubbish heathcare, really is, and I see absolutely no point in what they did(n't) do. Well, giving you the Brufen was a good thing but they obviously didn't do it enough... *more cuddles* Wish I could help more... I'm here to talk though, anytime - I check RYL throughout the day at uni & today I don't have to be there (uni) until 1:30pm so yeh. ♥

*cuddles LauraStar* Why & where do you feel like you're being manipulated? Hopefully not here on RYL... how're you doing today? did you get any sleep last night? I'm sorry to hear about the panic attacks... they suck. Do you know what brought them on? are you on any anti-anxiety meds? ♥

*hugs Annie* I hope that your partner will be kind & understanding about the injuries. He ought to be... I also hope that you managed to get some sleep last night & are feeling a bit better this morning.

*huggles LauraFriend* I'm so sorry for what's going on in your life, love... :( Getting drunk IS another way to self-harm, it can do awful things to your liver as you know, and you don't want to get cirrhosis. Please be careful... *holds you gently*

Kitty snuggles are once more available. :)

I'm feeling okayish right now. Just got up a bit ago... started the Depakote last night & am hoping against hope that I won't have any bad side effects. Guess if I haven't had the GI ones like nausea etc. yet, I won't... I hope not anyway!! I'm taking Depakote ER if that makes a difference... and the pills are GINORMOUS!!!! :'( I hate huge pills. :(

I want to listen to music... hmm, what shall I put on... I think Steven Curtis Chapman... pretty calm music. I really need to look into getting the album "Miracles of Santiago" by Anonymous 4. It's religious chants/songs from the 6th-14th century, very lyrical & anxiety-relieving. :) I heard it in Women & Spirituality and it was VERY calming... good because I was having an anxiety attack the entire 3 hours. Heh. :( Not good.


[Awakening] 29-01-2010 12:39 PM

:-( horrible headache

I'm not feeling great, i could really do with some kitty snuggles...

MammaMia 29-01-2010 01:42 PM

*gives everyone cuddles*

Scarletdreamer 29-01-2010 02:48 PM

*sends Daniel over to snuggle with Jocelyn* What's going on, love? *cuddles*

*cuddles Helen* How you doing today, sweetie? flashbacks still, or have they calmed down some?

I've been on WoW for awhile... got some dailies (quests that you can do every day) done so that's good. Feel icky now though because I ate breakfast like my mum told me to and now I really want to purge... so ****ing full!! I HATE FOOD. :(

Want to cut kind of too, but mostly I just want to sleep. So exhausted. Got up at 6am today when I ought to've slept in until 7am... so rarely do that & it would've been so nice!!

I don't think I have a ton of schoolwork to do (at least, that I can do at the mo)... just reading the next chapter in soc and reading 2 chapters in health psych and one or two in advanced counseling. *shrug* Lots of reading - oh, and reading more of Joan Chittister's book, gotta finish it by Wednesday. Gahh. Guess I have more than I thought I did!! :ermm:


MammaMia 29-01-2010 04:00 PM

They've calmed down, hopefully won't come back for a while. We'll see.

Imaginary_friend 29-01-2010 04:17 PM

*hugs everyone*
*slides down to sit on the floor*

Jetforce 29-01-2010 04:22 PM

*goes makes some cakes for everbody to share*

Scarletdreamer 29-01-2010 04:34 PM

*cuddles Helen* I hope that they won't come back... ♥ How's your day going so far?

*cuddles LauraFriend* What's up, sweetie?

*huggles Jet* How're you doing today? Oooh cakes, what kind? :P

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