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-   -   Share your tips for staying SH free (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=3541)

charlieglasgow 24-01-2009 07:04 PM

self-injury tips
1. don't be afraid, to, well, brag about how long you've been clean. i guess. it's not a bad thing. you deserve a little pat on the back. don't be like, arrogant, or anything, but it gives other people hope, as well as yourself. i find that it's a positive reward. my AIM, MSN, and facebook statuses are set to 104 days atm, and they don't say what it's for. But it makes me happy to see that many days.

2. ask for help. call someone, anyone, even if it's just to chat to distract you. it doesn't seem like it, but you have a lot of weapons against self-injury. there's a lot of things you can do.

3. the butterfly project got me through this summer without cutting. i got funny looks and condescending comments ,and my reply was that there's worse things i could do to my arm than draw on it with ink, get over it. it's my body, and my recovery. no one can take that away from me.

4. rewards!! rewards are essential! treat yourself somehow. you deserve it.

5. support systems are also essential, and RYL is a good one, but start figuring out if you have friends or family who could help you out. I couldn't have done it without friends to spur me on and encourage me, nor could I have done it without RYL.

6. The first year, for most addictions, is trying. So don't be discouraged that the urges aren't going away. they will not, for a long long time. but it's still worth it!!

7. you are worth it! you deserve so much better than self-injury!

8. hot baths tend to be good rewards.

9. i use the internet a lot to distract myself during intense urges, but i try not to trigger myself as well.

10. there's always ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS someone who would rather have you talkto them, whine to them, complain to them, cry to them, whatever, than injure yourself. I repeat: ALWAYS. Pastors? Counselors? It is their job, literally, to love and encourage people. You are not surprising them, they've heard everything before. Utilize RYL chat. The people on there have saved my life.

11. Ditch being self-conscious because people think you're doing it for attention. You're not. I don't know a single therapist who's ever seen one attention case. 99.9 percent of the time, it is entirely NOT attention. That is a stigma made up by people looking for easy answers and are afraid of pain, especially expressing it. Their problem not yours. You are in touch with your emotions enough that you express it even through self injury.
It is a maladaptive coping mechanism, and it has helped you survive thus far.

12. Along with that, ditch shame. It has helped you survive, and now you don't need it, because you have so many other things. Do not be ashamed.

13. Write LOVE on your scars with marker. I don't know why, it helps.

14. I write bible verses that talk about hope and depression on my arms, like micah 7:8-9 and psalm 118:17-18.

simply dashing 25-01-2009 04:32 AM

1. Short Term:
Have someone to be acountable to, a friend, partner(s). Someone that will not gudge you if you SI. Be truthfull. This worked well for me.
2 Long Term:
Find a good councelor/psychiatrist and focus on replacing SI with a good, productive coping mechanisms. This will take work on your part, so do it for yourself, do it when you are ready.

helloclarice 25-01-2009 04:59 AM

thank you. it's just so hard.

frickie 25-01-2009 07:00 AM

missmedia- I really enjoyed reading that list.. I think I could do a lot of those things. Might as well try! :) Thank you.

charlieglasgow 25-01-2009 01:21 PM

more tips -

write about it instead.

i'm writing a book, and the main character struggles from si and a couple of other things. i've also got a couple of short stories that include high stress trauma situations and dissociating. they help me cope. journal, write poetry, write stories..it's better to show the world the experience of self-injury, trauma, and abuse, instead of internalize it and further harm yourself. so much more productive to educate!!!

draw! it doesn't matter if you don't have talent. just draw! draw your feelings, draw whatever you want.

Paint! studies show a link between healing and painting. it feels good, and it's hard to explain. paint! the scene strawberry fields forever in across the universe is a good example of how to use painting (not the pot) to cope.

the general chat boards on RYL! They are awesome.

Along that vein, do silly surveys. Long ones..

I like the earlier tip of lighting incense and watching the calming smoke.

write down a list of everything you've been blessed with.

watch tv.

take a bath, no sharps.

think about your goal.

for some people it's helpful to count days, for some its not. i like it.

get exercise every day, because it will help your body regulate itself and can help with moods, which can just worsen urges.

same with food. it's amazing how much it can actually help.

whenever you feel like injuring, do something pampering for the very part of hte body you were going to injure.
special lotion
a bath
the spa
wash your hands
hand massage.

it will reteach you after a while on how to cope.

play with your cat or dog or bird, any other type of pet.

nature tends to help, so go swinging in the park maybe, go laying in the grass under a big tall tree...

naps. naps solve everything.

fallen wings44 27-02-2009 04:01 PM

your list are very helpfull :-)

charlieglasgow 27-02-2009 09:26 PM

thank you! :)

lately, i've been finding that cleaning helps with stress relief and allows me to think.

Katiee 01-03-2009 03:26 PM

I just think of the reasons why I don't want to self-harm and think of how well I'm doing. :]

Rodolphus 07-03-2009 07:23 PM

In the past, I've drawn on my arms with red pen, and then 'dressed' it, as I would if I had cut. It makes it seem like the ritual hasn't been broken, but I also know that I haven't physically hurt myself, but seeing the bandages and everything helps alot.

I also write 'thank you' lists. I'll write the name of someone who I love, and then write a reason to thank them, and a really good or happy memory that we've shared together, and carry on until I can read it back and laugh and smile.

I email too. ^_^

fallen wings44 07-03-2009 09:55 PM

tie a string on the part of the body you want and never take it off and promise you will not cut as long as it tied to you:-)

charlieglasgow 25-03-2009 04:53 PM

i don't recommend sticking your fingers in ice cream, and holding ice cubes, or the rubber band method. every psychologist i've talked to considered these borderline self-harm. Only do things that don't hurt! remember you're trying to retrain yourself.

Also, do something you feel accomplished with. Did I already say this? Hum. Feelings of accomplishment can be boasted in your mind when you're feeling icky.

ride the wave- say ok i can do it if i still feel like it in 15 minutes, then after that 15 mins is over if you still feel like it, set another 15minutes. sometimes i pop a dvd in and say ok i have to last till this movie is over.

Pamelici0uss 27-03-2009 08:14 PM

I always, when I feel the urge to cut myself, draw a little black X on my wrists to remind me not to do anything. In the very beginning I would use a rubber band as well, but I figured I was still hurting myself, so I quit that too

ksdfjhlksajf 27-03-2009 10:17 PM

If I'm calm enough, I'll get in my car, blast some music and drive!!! I love driving. I usually combine it with some errands so I don't waste too much gas.

Baking is lovely.

And washing dishes by hand (look I have no idea why).

Accomplishing something.

Yume.No.Chikara 29-03-2009 11:08 PM


Originally Posted by Fairytales Tell Tales (Post 1515263)
If I'm calm enough, I'll get in my car, blast some music and drive!!! I love driving. I usually combine it with some errands so I don't waste too much gas.

Baking is lovely.

And washing dishes by hand (look I have no idea why).

Accomplishing something.

Yes yes yes.....cleaning in general is great...its like a physical manifestation of cleaning/clearing your mind.....or maybe not...who knows?! But i was mostly yesing to the driving with music blaring and windows down is the best....(as long as your safe of course)!

charlieglasgow 30-03-2009 07:54 PM

yeah cleaning and driving too. last night i was having a hard time so i just popped in a movie.

kona 04-04-2009 02:23 PM

i've told friends at school, one of whom is trying to stop too. Whenever i'm urgy and at school, i work out how long its been since i have and they encourage me to keep going. One of my other friends who i tell has even said she's going to buy me something special when i reach 3 months =]

Riku3323 05-04-2009 07:25 PM

stay around people...cuz I've never cut with a lot of people watching...so just stay around your friends or in public! where people can see you!

flying[star] 09-04-2009 09:10 PM


Originally Posted by pixie*lyssie (Post 556622)
Don't fall in love... or at least try not to. LoL

or the exact opposite.

:jumpin: {YES there is a use to that avatar :P}

loveishere 10-04-2009 03:39 PM

I say to myself "today, I am committed to loving myself enough to keep me safe"
Then it's not a big, daunting goal of forever. Just today. And then I say it again the next day. One day at a time. Or if necessary, you could replace 'today' with 'this minute', 'this hour', 'right now' whatever.

charlieglasgow 10-04-2009 04:41 PM

remember that you only have to make it one minute at a time.
working out does wonders, too, because it releases endorphins which shoo away the urges. (IE it does what SIing would probably do for you)

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