I'm driving my husband mad with my anxiety and anxious breathing. I feel so awful about it, he logged off WoW and left the room because of me, but I can't do a damn thing about it. I've already taken my Klonopin and I just want to be ****ing NORMAL... is that too much to ask?! Apparently so...

:crying:

*cuddles April*

It's not your fault darling. Maybe he's easily irritated today and yeah?

*cuddles Helen back*

Yeh it's been a long day for him... long story so I won't go into it here, but drama with a girl he knows - nothing romantic or anything, far from it really, but it was drama and wearying for him. Easily irritated, my anxiety seems to get him every time so maybe it is my fault. :(

Here's a song to cheer everyone up... :P

[ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j1FGaCNN1aw&feature=channel[/ame]

i did it.
i actually signed up. i will be out of work for this coming week. and its only a week long so i think its not too bad.

i am so sorry that i have bitched and complained about everything. i do appreciate the encouragement April. i do want to get better, but i also want to self-destruct.

i hurt myself today. and it felt good. and it felt wrong for it to feel good and so i wanted to do more to punish myself for feeling good. i just want to curl up in a ball and .....

*cuddles everyone*

Not meaning to sound paranoid but I think the local health system is trying to kill me. I spoke to someone from the crisis team today and they told me to call them when there's a problem but that "(they) did not see a necessity for continuous contact at this time". Right when I could be starting to lift from my depression ... one of the most dangerous times ...

*sigh*

*hugs everyone, then disappears into a dark corner*

Sorry to interject again ... :( I just found out that someone I've known my entire life has passed away. .... It doesn't seem fair that she has died (aged ~70) and I'm still alive. :(

*cuddles for all*

Yey for making the decision, quiet1. I think it is a wise one... best of luck - let us know how it goes, okay? I'm sure that you'll be fine; it might be rough at first but you can handle it. I've never been in IOP but I've been in IP and res, so I understand kind of the way it works. More story behind that but I won't go there for now. :) How are you doing today?

Kahlia, no worries about "interjecting" ... this is a place where you can speak up when and how you want to. *hugs* I don't understand why the crisis team did that... I don't think that they are trying to kill you, per se, but I do think that they are making some unwise decisions. :( I'm sorry to hear about that person in your life... that must hurt so badly. I wish I could do something to help... is there anything? *offers more cuddles*

I'm doing alright... better than last night, which is good... got up at 5:20am after sleeping restlessly after 4am. Am tired. We played WoW for awhile and are now going to get breakfast... I have no idea what I'll have. My brain is tired from the bingeing urges I had last night before bed... was already full but wanted to eat and eat and eat... how I HATE the BN stuff. :(

I have - HAVE - to do schoolwork today - no ifs, ands, or buts about it. :( I am so behind; it's awful. I feel so stupid for putting stuff off this long but I ****ing needed a break from uni and thinking about assignments and exams and such. :(

I just want to die, is that too much to ask? :crying:

*curls up and rocks*

*holds Helen and rocks with her* What's up, sweetheart? ♥

:'( I want everything to be okay. It was getting better. But it's all ****ed up again. Why? :'( Just found a thread I made this morning. Oh dear oh dear oh dear. I want my best friends. One is/was upset with me. Again my fault. The other is really struggling, and think she was going to do something bad. But hopefully has seen whoever she was seeing today :'( She's not replied back to my late reply :/ Can't text my other best friend, well I could, but she hasn't text me so far, so am still sticking with giving her space. I can't cope. Why do I have to keep ****ing everything up :'( I woke up and was pure gutted. Half wanted to stop breathing whilst asleep....

Hey ScarlettDreamer,
how was you day?I have college all weekend....exciting..Wow,I don't think I could study that,interesting as hell but not for me!!I'd probably drive myself crazy!
Anyone doing anything nice this weekend?

*Pops in and leaves hugs for you all*
Sorry for the short post I'm severly triggered but can't get the privacy here at my parents to S.I. , I've been comfort eating recently and I've put on weight I just feel crap . I just had coffee with my best friend / girlfriend which has helped talking to her but now I feel un-safe ( is that the right word ? ) again .

can i please admit myself to the ward?? NHS are crappy, i OD'd thursday. saw someone from the barnes unit (who was supposed to decide whether i was safe enough to go home) and i told her al my plans for my next OD, and yet, she said i was perfectly safe to go home! uuuuuuuh. WHAT???!!! theyre useless, although the hospital is good...................

*Hugs Nicole* please don't OD , stay safe .

Nicole, sadly it happens too regularly. Please try keep safe sweet *cuddles*


Really want to die, then it'll stop hurting, stop all the uncertainty? :'(

Awh Nicole, that sucks!! *hugs* I hope that you don't OD... it's not wise at all... and I agree, the NHS is AWFUL for letting you go home after you told her what you planned to do. :( Please try & take care of yourself the best you can... I'm here if you ever need/want to talk.

Mark, I'm sorry that you're triggered... how are you feeling now?

I'm not doing too great myself, really anxious and all... it sucks. :( I don't know what to do about it... and I need - NEED - to get some schoolwork done but my brain totally doesn't seem to be functioning on that level. :crying:

I don't know what to do. :(

*hides*

I'll just continue to be invisible, it's for the best =D
I'll just not talk, can't **** up that way.

*hides in the denial tent and cries*

Hugs Mammamia and April*
I'm sorry we are all struggling , maybe it will be better tommorow .I'm sorry I don't have any great insight .
I'm triggered and tired I don't knw how to feel just all high-pitched mentally , I don't know how else to describe it.

*cuddles Helen and Mark* I'm sorry that we're all in such bad states today... :( Wish I could do summat about it.

I'm really tired. Just want to sleeeep... :( Took a nap earlier but it was only for a bit and I didn't really sleep, too keyed up from anxiety.

I really need to get this outline done, even if it's rubbishy, but it's so damn confusing!!! :crying:

*hides in a dark corner of the denial tent*

Everyone's awfully sad!
*cue PrincessSparkle breaking into a tap routine and making everyone laugh*

No-one OD please it is really really horrible!( I havnt done it but know someone who did and the anxiety and stress and scared...if she ever does it again...I dont wanna live through that again!)
Did you get your outline done?
xxxx