Yes cadburys creme eggs ^_^
*hands you some more*

hehehe....ive not been running for agggggeeesssss

CHLOE
hello my Denial Tent-giver :) have a creme egg!!!!
hmmmm is all i have to say about your new psych. about the good/bad, maybe she doesnt want you to use it so much BECAUSE you tend to, because you are very black/white and not gray and she wants you to see things less harshly? about the other thing, you know i often wonder if coming on RYL and reading about SI or listening to songs about SI and other self-destructive things is good or not (i can't seem to stop any of it). did she say why? there are parts that are really non-triggering, and certain areas are really educational, like discussing treatments and meds and what has and hasnt worked for other people, and advice and stuff. honestly i wouldnt have had the courage to find a therapist this year without it because so few of the people in my real life know and i really needed moral support and i got it here. so i would ask her why, and what specifically she thinks it does for you that is bad and you could talk about the good things and together find out if the bad outweighs the good or vice versa?

effervescence, that really sucks hunnie :(

i am seriously about to jump out of this chair so i have to get out haha
*eats more creme eggs for energy*
will be back to the Denial Tent later!
*runs around*

mmmmmmmmmm creme egg!! ta.
she just said that she was disturbed by things she has heard about sites in general, how the content can be quite graphic blah blah (not that she knows ive pretty much seen it all). so i lied and said i only came on here to check on a friend. i know, i shouldnt have lied. but oh well. she still kept going on about it. and apprently every time i want to cut i have to "press pause" and distract myself. she admitted to not having had much experience with cutting when i said, yea ok, that will last 5 mins, what about the rest of the week?

oh and she also thinks i need to make more friends and tell them all about myself. im sorry, what?? ive been here 3 weeks. ive had friends all my life who dont know this part of me because you know what?? they dont ****ing want to know, it freaks them out, it scares them, and they distance themselves from me. so yeah thats a ****ing GREAT plan that is.

Why can't the emotional pain stop?
Why can't the feelings improve?
Why can't I have a break from all of this?

This is so ****.
I'm drinking wine fleftover in my glass from thursday.

*hugs effervescence, Helen, and Callie*

Effervescence, sounds like you've got yourself an interesting counselor :pinch:. I hope things get better.

Callie, I bet it's just because you're new to it and maybe such a long break between the first few sessions isn't such a good idea. *hugs* Much love miss RYL Twin :-D

Helen, hunni, I wish I had something to say that would help, but I don't
*huge snuggles*

I am feeling crap. Want to cut, want to OD (because THAT would go over well with my cousin in the hospital), want to cry... something! And no one is home... It's my first day back and I know they are at the hospital with my cousin and my Aunt and Uncle... and I know they SHOULD be... but I feel awful and I wanted to see my famile :crying:. Stupid, selfish me again...

*curls up under her blanket in the denial tent and crys since she can manage it here if not in real life*

ew..hasn't it oxidised into vinegar yet?? how is everything going re: moving? is that whats making you so upset?

^ You asking me? We're not moving yet, the house is going up for sale soon =[ I'm dreading the day the sign goes up.

Nah I'm not upset over that.

Thanks Ally :) x

ew now i am sooo tired but i cant make my head tired (um that doesnt even make sense now that i look at it but it does to me.... lol)

i'm sorry you feel like crap Alyssa, let's have a crappy Denial Tent sleepover :)
Chloe i know EXACTLY what you mean about telling friends and how they don't want to know and all that stuff...... i think that about most of my friends too and i still can't figure out if it is true or just what i tell myself in denial because i don't want to talk...... haha denial again
Helen be careful with the wine honey. do you really need it? good luck with the moving and all that and be safe hun
Kit, Emma, Alexx, hope you are all safe
*hugs people goodnite*

*hugs people who need it*

I am drunk again and I am glad. *buries head into cushions to distract self from self destructive thoughts*

Callie- good luck with your extra DBT thing xx

Helen- hope you are alright now xx

Alexx- feel better hun xx

Effervesence (Chloe maybe?)- your counsellor is probably just trying to make you interact and recognise different emotions. It is hard but she probably is trying to help *hugs* stay strong x

*hugs for anyone I missed* x

So, my mother, in her infinat wisdome decided not to tell me about my little cousins OD until I was safely on the west side... when it happened last night! She said she didn't want me to worry while I was driving. I wonder what she would say if she knew that most of the time I am so out of it that I miss huge chunks of the drive :pinch:.
THEN, when she DOES tell me all she tells me is that she is going to be fine. What she didn't tell me (my grandma told me later) was that she fell over, hurt her kneck, had three small brain bleeds at one point, and while she was responsive earlier is not responsive right now... and they are not sure if that is because of some brain damage or from all the pain meds they've got her dopped up on.

:crying:

To make it worse I'm still so numb (heaven only knows why I've been like this for a while) that it's hard to feel much of anything... but it's there, like a ghost... I would much rather it make itself clearly known...

*joins Callie for the crappy denial tent sleepover*

:crying:

Work is good people bad but im a little better ...

i can recognise different emotions i just like the words good and bad. anyway i should be able to say what i want to her....surely? (this isnt meant to sound sniping)

Hi guys

Hope u all r well...!!!!!

I finally managed to get some zzzzz's hehe :-D lol About time i think too, coz i was sooo exhausted

Afternoon peeps, just popped in before I go out XD

I would like to apologise to anyone who witnessed the unpleasant goings on of yesterday. I let my emotions get the better of me and take place over my judgement.

*hugs Carole*
i dont really know what happened but it is very brave to apologise

hi Jeremy and Helen! glad you caught a few winks and hope you're all having a good day

*squishes Alyssa* honey i am so so sorry about your cousin i hope she is responsive now? thanks for having a crappy Denial Tent sleepover with me ;)

Chloe you aren't sniping at all and you should be able to talk to your psych in whatever way makes sense to you and lets you communicate best!!! maybe you need to have a talk with her because you should feel comfortable talking about anything hun.

Alexx and Kit, how are you guys?

*passes around hugs and more creme eggs :) and various treats*

*hugs Carole*
Yep, I agree with Callie, very brave.

*accepts creme egg from her Twin and hugs her*

Yep. Thanks Twin :-D And I am gald we had our sleepover :-) I think I slept better because of it ;-)

Cousin update everyone: my mom told me that when they left yesterday my cousin had been having short conversations with folks... still not opening her eyese though... hmm.

I hope everyone is doing alright and staying safe

*makes a tea tray with tea, coffee, cocoa, cake, biscuts, and anything else that sounds good... OH! Toast! With toast too (hmmm I think I need to eat breakfast lol)... passes it around*