*creeps out of basement and dashes over to lie down next to di*

doggie? cool :D

The dog's name is "Sugar".
We got her from a kennel. They picked her up as a stray. ... she is like a pomeranian-spitz (mix) they think ... solid white... 9 and a half pounds... guessimated 1 and 1/2 to 2 years old.

that's great. am so happy fo ryiu :)

thanks...
*cuddles and rocks Sugar and stares off into space*
I am still very very very very very very very very low though
*blinks tear out of eye*

*hugs her daddy*
and it sucks cuz once again....
I DON'T KNOW WHY I'm feelin like I am...
I just got a new dog... I should be happy... right?

*sneeks over and joins the group corner snuggle*

Sorry, really just need a corner and some people :-(

no. does't work like that. at least u have somethign to help you stay with us. but just casue good thigns hapen deost mean eveythign is gong to be okay. it just desnt wk like that.

blah. sorry. crap advice. *crawls back into hole*

*hugs Jess*
Not crap advice.
Makes sense to me.
Thanks Jess.

*nods in agreement with Jess and cuddles Amanda*
---------
*huddles in her corner, as close to the wall and as tight as she can get*
I don't want to feel it any more... I don't want to see it any more... Not unless I can actually do it... :crying:

8gives hugs to manda and ally* you'll both be okay. yo'll get through this. I have faith in you both!


*curls up and goes invisible* just none in myself.

*snuggles Ally and Jess*

*cuddles Jess*
That's ok hun, I have faith in you.

y is it that we can have faith in others and not in oursef? sucsk.

I ask that myself that question ALL the time...
that and why can I give other people GREAT advice and help them so much but I don't take my own advice and I can't help myself???
*sigh*

Amanda, as you play with your new puppy, she will make you feel better. Animals have amazing abilities. I have a story about Bozo Cat but won't tell it until invited to.

*eats a great big bowl full of fried rice*

What am I doing? I'm back to the Cinderella nonsense again. I don't want free time, I'd have to think and feel.

So one day I get free time and my emotions come up and surprise me.

And being screamed at by a 70+ year old woman during a 5.8 earthquake that was only 30 miles away didn't help. I couldn't concentrate on what was going on, to know if I needed to duck under the table or not, to concentrate and feel which direction the quake was coming from. Those magic words "will you shut up!" just didn't work.

Anyone need a blondiebear to cuddle?

Jess and Amanda, I sure wish I knew the answers to those questions because they've been driving me crazy forever, at least it seems that long.
:crying:

*cuddles up to her lovely RYL mum for a hug*

:yawn:

Well, it's just after 18:00 and I'm in bed about ready to roll over and go to sleep... How pathetic is that? As long as I sleep all night though I guess I don't care much... At least I get away from all the dwelling I've been doing... As long as it doesn't leak into my dreams :pinch:

G'night all, stay safe
*cuddles all around*

i wish ic uold be in bed right nwo. wtuipid work and bieng cold. i dont' want o be cold anymore 8cries* and i have to go take a kid to the gym and be there iwht him and it'll be cold AND smely there. stupid. evetyhtign is stupid. just like me. *crioes*

you're not stupid Jessi. maybe you could take a hot waterbottle with you to keep you warm? *cuddles lots*

i have heatpump in my office but it's not working! it's just... blowing cold air! stupid thing >.< i'm so cold. and tired. and sore. my hand is burning. i think it might be a bit infected... oh dear. wow. this is really hard to type clearly. have to keep fixing mistakes. ****. i want to go home!

is there any way you can get off early?

yeah but i have a doc appointment at 5 so... i dunno really.

you'l get through this. i know it and somewhere inside of you (evenif its somwhere REALLY deep inside) you know it too *huggles*

*curls up and goes back to being invisbile*

*wraps you in a blanket to keep you warm and huggles lots* i love you hun, you know where to find me if you need me. i always offer free hugs and cuddles xx

because i dont like the idea of stuff messing with my brain. i know what theyre actually doing, inhibiting seritonin reuptake etc. its still messing with my brain.
i dont want to become dependent on them.
i dont want anyone finding out about me - pills and side effects = evidence.
i dont want side effects. i already feel yucky and sick and it SUCKS.
it means there is actually something wrong and i cant deny it any more.

I cut the other day and it bled so much i fainted. never happened before. what is going on with me??

^ oh and that was in response to susan asking why im afraid of meds.

That's fine. I understand. The new mix made my hands shake for weeks, and sometimes if i'm still too tired.

I want to kick something, myself? Go SI, just shred myself.

Since I got another illustration over the weekend of just how awkward i've become, I think I'll go kick the soccer ball around the green belt for a bit. Little city attempt and getting my footing better for hiking. I used to be a mountain goat. Now I feel like an ageing hippo.

you stay ont hem til ur body re adjusts and then you might eb abel to come of them. i duno.

cholose... did u go to doc?

argh. i want to go home. away. anyeher but here... *hides curled up gainst soph*

please share... I could really use the distraction... :notsure:

susan, please tell me about your cat, i love cats and i miss mine.

jess i didnt tell dr about cut but it doesnt need stitches i promise. i'll keep an eye on it for infection and pretty sure my psych will be watching it too cos she can see it.

hey jeff. (it is jeff, right?)
im sorry it hurts so bad. once i can figure out why we are hurting i'll let you know.

Please, does someone have a hug for me? Please?

About Bozo our cat being theraputic. I sprained my ankle so bad that I broke it on September 4, 2002, at about 5:45pm, falling down the stairs that go to my front door. Landed sitting on the foot.

The cast came off October 10.
The night of October 11-12, Bozo gently draped himself over the ankle and spent the night there.

He hangs out with me when I have a cold too. He's a serious people!

Sigh
*burrows back into my nest next to the wall and watches everyone*

*hugs Susan*
that is a sweet story
thanks for sharing

are you sure? if it bled for so long.... *worries bout chlo*

*offers huggles and cuddles to anyone who needs them*

*dashes out from hiding to cuddle susan*

*goes back into hiding*

That's so cool about your cat!
Animals rock, I got a dog 3 weeks ago and she seems to pick up on when I'm getting real anxious. I'll be sitting in my room starting to freak out and all the sudden she'll be slapping me with her paw so I come play with her.

damnit damnit damnit DAMNIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I feel so... so... ARRRGH!!!!!!!!!
I need to... to... I don't know... cut...TOO deep
or maybe waaay OD on pills... and not wake up...
or....... something........ANYTHING!!! #$%^&****!!!!!

mand, go cuddle your doggie... cry to her. they're so good witht hat

*Amanda is afraid she would squeeze Sugar too hard*

manda you can hug me if it'l help at all?

i don't think you will. or even just sit with her. *nods* it helps.

*manda doesn't want to be a burden to a Sophie*
but thanks for for the offer...

honey you wont be a burden. i want to be here for you. and giving you hugs wont make you a burden *cuddles*

but... then why does my ****in head tell me I am?
*cries and hugs Sophie*

the things your head tells you aren't always right and in this case they're not. you're a great person and you're not a burden *huggles and cuddles and offers tissues*

Sophie... you make my heart smile :)
*squishes*

aww *squishes back and huggles lots* you just needed an objective someone to counter-act what you're heads telling you. i'm nothing special..

well (if it means anything) you are special to me...

it means a lot, thank you honey :) *cuddles*