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Pomegranate 09-01-2009 08:42 PM

Thanks Rowie *hugs back*. Got prescribed Sertraline (sp?). Great.

713 09-01-2009 09:02 PM

wanted to check in if possible. Whereīs the lorazepame and my bed?

Damnation. 09-01-2009 09:12 PM

*Hugs all* Sorry, don't really know much of what to say, other than to Katie: I know how you feel

The following content has been hidden - Reason : Long rant is long
Okay, so as I've mentioned once or twice before in here, my housemate and me are being evicted. We were given three weeks by the courts to find somewhere else to live and GTFO, and those three weeks elapsed without us finding anywhere. Hell, we weren't even offered anywhere to look at! So, the landlord would have to go back to the courts and get a warrant in order to get us to leave.

That warrant came through the post today. We have until the 27th to **** off, and if not, bailiffs'll come round and make us. We have nowhere else to go. When we were first told we were going to be thrown out, my housemate looked at a load of housing associations, and kept speaking to a guy called Lee, who's been helping us with accomodation.

We got to see one place. In all this time, since about Oct/Nov-ish, we've been shown ONE ****ING PLACE to look at. And guess what? It was too. ****ing. Expensive. The rent was at an already reduced price, and wouldn't be lowered further. My housemate was tempted to go for it anyway, but after consulting my grandparents and father for advice (an idea that sounds odd to me, for some reason), decided against it. 'Cause, y'know, the same thing'll happen all over a-****ing-gain.

So at this rate, we're going to be thrown out with nowhere to go. Katrica told me that her mother said they can't just leave us on the streets, they have to provide emergency accomodation, such as a B&B. When I mentioned this to my housemate, oh no, that's not a viable choice, we can't do that. Apparently we wouldn't be able to take the dog with us, so she downright refuses, won't be seperated. I can appreciate that, but wtf, what other ****ing option is there?

My father has said that I can stay with him and his girlfriend if needs be, but I'm reluctant. I like the fact that I no longer live with either of my parents, and to move back in with my dad would feel like taking a step backwards. That, and plus what about my housemate? I don't think he'd be able to home her and the dog, as well.

Not to mention the fact - how would I get there? How would I be able to travel from Lancashire to Suffolk? I don't travel well, unless I'm accompanied by someone.

And also:
  • My housemate wouldn't be able to go with me, 'cause she can't leave the dog for the day
  • My dad wouldn't be able to come and fetch me, as he has a demanding job. His girlfriend has a job plus is doing a college course
  • The easiest way to get from Lancs to Suffolk would be to fly. I don't have an up-to-date passport. That costs money to sort out, if I'm right. Even if it doesn't, plane tickets do. If we can't even afford Ģ25 for rent for a ****ing house, then we can't ****ing afford plane tickets!
  • My paternal grandparents probably wouldn't be able to help much either.
  • The less said about my mum's side of the family, the better (I nearly started a family feud =D they don't like me any more)
  • There was probably another point, but in a brilliant display of excellence and intelligence, I've forgotten it
So I am not in a good way. Horrible thoughts and urges have returned, and really, it's getting to the stage where I just don't see the point in living any more. I keep thinking about suicide, keep having mental images of it.

I've always said that I wouldn't ever deliberately take my own life, but now...I'm not so sure. Seriously, what is the point? I'm gonna be stuck on the ****ing streets, if I'm not careful, I don't see anything good lying up ahead. I'm tired of being falsely optimistic, reassuring other people by saying 'oh, I'm sure something'll come up', because I'm NOT sure. So mm. I had more to say, but again, I've forgotten it. I don't want to take my life, but I can feel my resolve, the ole 'omgdunworryIcouldneverdoit' breaking. And I'm still too cowardly to go to the docs =B.

TL;DR: I fail

Mary Anne 09-01-2009 09:42 PM

Hi all,

*hugs Emma* hope you are okay and that the meds make you feel a little better, you won't be on them forever, they are just there to help you just now.

*hugs Snuffles* hope you get everything sorted out

Hi 713 *offers hugs*

*offers hugs to everyone*

Soooo tired today, I had to keeping stopping work and going for a walk outside to wake up, hopefully I will sleep well tonight (all week I have gone to bed but despite being tired I have been unable to sleep but I am hoping exhaustion will kick in tonight)

Taking all my wedding photos to my mum's tomorrow so I don't look at them and get upset (or do something silly like destroy them, I know I really don;t want to do that but rage might take over).

*curls up and sleeps*

Damnation. 09-01-2009 09:43 PM

x_o *Hugs Mary Anne*

713 09-01-2009 10:06 PM

@poisonous cyanide
sorry, I donīt want to invade your privacy or anything, but I just looked at your facebook pic, aand, is it possible that we both went to college together? a college which usually has lots of german exchange students hanging around, being really rude and talking german all the time...?

Damnation. 09-01-2009 10:08 PM

My college did have a load of German students when I attended, yeah. Colne College?

713 09-01-2009 10:09 PM

oh and thanks for the hugs mary anne. donīt know where the stars are on my stupid keyboard, but hugs back.

713 09-01-2009 10:10 PM

Yep. You probably donīt know me...aehh maybe you do, I think I had english literature classes with you.

Damnation. 09-01-2009 10:11 PM

You poor sod, lol. I'm just tryna remember who else was in English classes with me now, other than the two I used to bug every lesson ._.

713 09-01-2009 10:20 PM

I wasnīt there for long. I only started after half term in year 13 and left quite soon afterwards again. But I left after you left anyway.

Damnation. 09-01-2009 10:22 PM

Ahh, I see. Probably for the best, the place was awful x_o. And heh, I guess that means you were one of the lucky people who got to hear all the charming rumours about my leaving then <__<;;

713 09-01-2009 10:26 PM

Have you got any idea who I am? Not that anybody I went to college with would remember me, but itīs wort a try...donīt even know you...
Which place was awful? College or English classes? ;-)
Oh yes, I heard the rumours. Were they true?

Damnation. 09-01-2009 10:28 PM

I'm not too sure, to be entirely honest, sorry. I don't really remember a lot of the past few years. And I meant the Colne itself was awful.

Nope, the rumours weren't true in the slightest. Granted, most people'd say that even if they were, but what was being passed around in the Colne was a load of ****. I left 'cause I couldn't live with my mum, my health was deteriorating, and if I stayed, I would've had a breakdown at the very least. Soyeah D:

713 09-01-2009 10:39 PM

Completely agree with you about the Colne. Gosh, I hate this place. There is a chance I wouldnīt even be on this type of forum if I hadnīt gone to school there.

Damnation. 09-01-2009 10:40 PM

Yeah? How'd you discover RYL then? o.o

And as for the Colne, thank **** neither of us is stuck there any more <__<;;. Lol, I don't think I'd be welcome back in Essex if I tried, so is best to just leave it, I say

713 09-01-2009 10:45 PM

I got here through a link from The Studentroom. do you know any other good english forums? the german one are mostly small ones all over the place.

Damnation. 09-01-2009 10:50 PM

Ohh, I see. Well, the only other forum I go on that isn't RYL is Gaia Online

Snuffles 10-01-2009 12:45 AM

*cuddles Dayna*

It's ****ed up hey. I hope it won't happen to us. We're going to look into some storage places today and start to clean up as my brother is coming up tomorrow for a few days. Our housemate, she has grown up around here since she was little so she knows heaps of people and can go anywhere. Us? We've only been here 6 months, I know no one from uni (cept the odd snobby bitch), we have a couple, or rather family) about half an hour north that we can stay with for a week or two IF NEED BE. It's just frustrating isn't it?? I hate it. We had only just got settled here. Looks like I'm just going to have to find a job as well FFS. I can't do that while I'm studying argghhhh

Damnation. 10-01-2009 01:33 AM

*Cuddles Katie back* >__< I really hope you get it sorted out soon. Is ****ing ****, isn't it?

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