*curls up in a ball* can i die now please?

*hugs lia* what happened hun? Sorry you are feeling so poorly. Around if you need to talk.

*hugs mark* how r u doing?

*hugs crimson* no, hun. you can't die. what's wrong?

i hurt on a physical and an emotional level. i am now on an rx to block acid production in my stomach and if it doesn't work i'll have ulcers. i can't have caffeine, alcohol, anything (food or drink) that's acidic at all, milk or fruit for 2 weeks. i have to keep going to work and doing my job when all i wanna do is lay here and cry.
*hugs Laura*

*hugs everyone in here tightly*

*puts some goodies on the table*

I give up. Ffs, I don't care. Why should anyone care? All my "friends" now just want and tell me to be back on my meds that I stopped taking long ago. Whatevr. I can handle it. I hope.

*Hugs Crimson* I'm here if you need me :)

*Hugs Lia*

*Hugs Laura*

*Hugs Matt*

*Hugs Laura, Crimson, Matt and Mark*

Nothing happened exactly, I was just sitting in a B&B in Wales with my friend, we were on our laptops and chatting and BAM! I was hit by a bus. I joke. But a really **** mood came on. For no good reason. It's every day. For three years.

The best way I can think to describe what it feels like it you know when Ron Weasley wears that horcrux in the Harry Potter books/films, and it makes him see the whole world in such a dark and twisted way. Everything that someone says, every glance is a jeer, a criticism and he just gets so angry, for no rational reason. And at the same time it talks to me, makes him believe all his worst fears and hate himself. And there's a dementor there too, following me around. It's always lurking in the corner, so even when I'm happy I can't fully just BE happy. There's always the weight on my shoulders. Half the time, I feel like I'm being eaten up from the inside out, so I am getting gradually emptier, but it still hurts. And I'm just so tired, of everything. I don't think it's normal.

Hi how is everyone? I'v not been in here for a while, although i have still been on ryl.

*Hugs Morpheus*

*Hugs Mark*

*Hugs Lia*

*Hugs Matt*

*Hugs Laura*

*Hugs Jay*

*Hugs Crimson*

*Hugs Ian* Hey, I explained up there ^ How are you? I haven't been here in ages either, I technically left, but I'm crap at leaving. I hate goodbyes too much, I always end up returning. Bodes well for uni. Anyway, ramble over.

*Squishes Lia* I know the feeling Hun ( although not the HP reference :P ) I'm here should you need to talk :)

*Hugs Matt*

Feelings so alone n scared...

I knew i was enough so y try n make me feel like i was, just to drop me from a greater height when u decide that im not enough...

Scared of myself and what i want to do

Sorry

*cuddles lia and anyone else who wants*

*Hugs Needhelp*

*Hugs Heather* How're you?

*shrug*
how're u mark?

Coping Heather , Just about *Hugs*

*Hugs Heather, Mark and Needhelp*

Needhelp, I don't know what happened, so I don't know what advice to give, but I do know the feeling. Try and do something distracting that you like. Reading perhaps, or watching something pointless on TV.

*hugs all*

*hugs all and puts brownies on the table*

Things haven't gotten any better... in fact they feel like they are getting worse again. I would like to give up, but I can't. Sigh. So everyday I get to go through all of this in my head... oh so fun it is XD

*Hugs Crimson*

*Hugs Matt*

*Night Time Hugs My Wardies*

As the above post *Hugs* :)