*hugs everyone*
Hope you're all doing well!
*scurries off to get more work done*

I did Crimson but now I'm heading to bed

I love you guys

*Night time hugs y'all*

*cuddles Mark* Tomorrow is a new day! Can't expect to win with no slips or it wouldn't be an addiction you are trying to break :) Good Night! And since you'll likely get this when you wake up, Day 1 starts now!

I updated my blog with a rant on rampant stupidity and ignorance today and other updates since I last shared if anyone is interested {http://mybusylifeinalaska.blogspot.com/}.
Eventually I'll figure out how to put my song lyrics and other stuff in my siggy bar without it saying I have too many lines... then I'll just throw the link in there. As it is, what is there is the most it'd let me have. I find it odd seeing as I had so much in there before... Hmmmmmmmm.

*Hugs Mark*

*Hugs Oiver*

*Hugs Lindsay*

*Hugs Crimson*

*Hugs Heather*

*Hugs Laura*

*Hugs Louise*

*hugs everyone*

I have a major headache at the moment, I think it might be a migraine. Been feeling okay the past couple of days, but certainly lower than previously. Don't know why, but still keeping my head up.

Hope your all doing well <3

*hugs Taz and Ian*

*hugs all*

****************ufck

*hugs Mrs Pan* whats up?

*hugs lots*
I'm supposed to be doing my second and last trial day at a nursery tomorrow but I don't think I can do it. I don't even want to think about it. I don't know how to explain this grinding feeling in my chest, I just want to disappear and be invisible so I don't have to face a decision and have to let anyone down.
Even if I miraculously forced myself to get out of bed and go tomorrow, it's a 9 hour day. What if I want to escape and I can't? I can't break down there in front of the children and everything. And if I magically got the job, how would I manage that every day? What would I do?
I feel like such a ****ing idiot for even bothering to try in the first place. I've just made it worse. Now I'm just going to disappoint my mother again and reinforce the fact that I am a failure.
I want to hit myself in the head so it will stop hurting me.

Sorry. I let out a bit too much.

I hope you're okay Oliver.

*hugs mrs Pan*
dont be sorry for writing a bit, its fine, its good to get it out. your not an idiot or a failure at all. all you can do at the nursery is your best. best of luck tomorrow *hugs*

Thank you, I'll probably need it. I should be in bed, being responsible. Ha.

How are you doing?

I'm not doing so great, really bad urges to OD, just trying to keep myself distracted, but emotions and mood swings are really bad

*Hugs Mrs Pan*

*Hugs Oliver* I'm sorry your not doing great *sits with you*

Well done for not just giving in, it takes strength. I hope your emotions manage to settle down, keep distracting yourself and hopefully you will get tired and just be able to sleep. That's my favourite distraction.
*hugs*

*hugs Ian and Mrs Pan*

*hugs Ian, Mrs Pan & Oliver*
Good night all!
See ya in the morning!

*crosses fingers for Mrs Pan*

Thank you, nanight

*hugs Crimson* night

*Hugs Crimson*

*Hugs Ian*

*Hugs Taz*

*Hugs Oliver*

*Hugs Mrs Pan*