Hiya everyone *offers hugs to those who want need then and hot or cold drinks depending on what side of the world you live in*

Am absolutly hyper. Got good news after soo much trouble it is good. I get to move house soon and it will be nice. I met the most adorable saintbernard yesterday. Unfortunatly my only jacket smells like dog and is covered in his winter coat. Hmmmm get to give him a bath today. Hihiheeeeeeee I love animals!

meep... interview at uni trying to transfer to tomorrow morning [up at 6:30- shoot me now o_O]. i hope they dont ask bout grades... might just say bout the depression but am getting treatment... god i need to get in to the uni... dads work will only cover me for insurance if im in uni full time =\ so if i dont get into this i wont have insurance next year =s. fml.

*Offers hugs to horseRidingBbe07* I understand. It is nervouse, interviews but that is ok you will do it. Hold on in there. Sorry if it sounds wrong it just aint working today.

*drops in to hug/wave at all then disappears into the garden to play with Puppy Sinclair*

=[ *cries* am almost obese acording to bmi calculator :( *curls up in corner*

*hugs heather* good luck with your interview! I know they can be super nerve wracking. And you are beautiful hun, dont get caught up on numbers or bmi.

*hugs MID (sorry i forget your name)* glad you finally got some good news!

*hugs quiet* welcome back!

*hugs jess* what wrong?

*hugs april* I see you and you arent just taking up space hun. Hang in there.

*cuddles helen tightly*

*hugs hannah* good to see you back around here! And dont worry about not offering much support right now, it sounds like you are really busy. We understand that.

*hugs kahlia* how r u doing? sorry that you are having computer problems.

*hugs becca*

*disappears into the corner where nobody can find me* Unless anyone needs support.. then i'll come back out for a bit if i can.

fml, fml, fml,.. my birthday is in six days i usually by now have cards and prezzie to open. its not like im turning 28,29 no im turning 30 but i feel like im 5 and eveyone forgot my birthday.

*runs around handing out hugs/squishes/huggles/care packages to all*

To the newcomers, hi, I'm Taz. I'm usually around a lot more often, but I've been MIA a lot recently...

To everyone who's struggling, I hope you're staying safe, in your own ways <3 Stay strong, I'm thinking of you all. I'll try to come back on tomorrow and maybe attempt individual replies, but I missed 13 pages so I probably won't get everyone.

*more hugs*

*would send birthday pressies if was anywhere near you* :)
*leaves presents in ward* ^_^

laura <3 :)

Is it sad i would even be happy with belated ones..

*offers hug*
i really would send something small but im literally broke o_O
hope you get something for birthday tho
x

i'm very unimpressed about being woken up by the cops at 2:30am this morning

why'd you get waked up by cops? O_o

Laura: I've just had enough is all...

*hugs to peoples and presents to Becca*

*huggles/waves at everybody*

Very tired. :-( Been working on an assessment for most of the day. My housemate, very politely, told me to quit it. I've done four parts of the assessment today. Got three more to do, then just got to zip the bits up and upload it. *sigh* Absolutely exhausted. AND I even managed to sleep last night.

Sorry to everyone for the lack of individual replies. I'm struggling to keep up with everyone.

Just wanted to say "Hi" to everyone, "Welcome" to anyone who is new, "Missed you" to those regulars who've not been posting regularly and slipped in to tell us how you are doing, and "Welcome back!" to those who have come back after a break.

Much love and care to all of you.

*leaves hugs and safe love and care packages on the table for all*

Curls up and cries.
I hurt I hurt I hurt I hurt, fml
someone please make this pain stop

Hannah you could try looking here >> for camoflague cream info http://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum...splay.php?f=57

*hugs to everyone*

Thankyou for your reply Laura , It meant a lot :) * Hugs*

*Hugs April , I will read your R/V link soon.

*Hugs Shadowedsoul*

*Hugs Kahlia*

*Hugs wolfos*

*Hugs Heather * You are very pretty .

*Hugs Julie*

*Hugs Anarchistlove* Sorry forgot you name :( sorry

*hugs Taz*

*Hugs Nicole, Oliver ,Hayley , Hannah , JK and everyone else , sorry I missed you *

So My SW has come and gone ( Bought a med student with him) I told him I was really low and he asked if I would be ok until I saw my psych Dr and I said yes :S then he started asking about my Cutting in front of the med student , I was mortified beyond beleif :( But most of the session I sat in silence and they just sat and waited for me to say somthing but I'm to low to make conversation , SO triggered now , thats one more person who knows I S.I. I'm trying to be private about it but he just launched into it like it was no big deal :( Really ****ed Off Now .

I have to go and get shopping today because a guy will be coming for electric somthing tomorow but I haven't been given a time Grrr I 'm gonna have to take a Diaz now I'm all wound up

Mark, love, not to sound mean or petty or anything, but to me, cutting isn't a big deal. I mean, it is to the person who is struggling with it, obviously - as all of the SI'ers in the thread know!!!! - but it's become such an epidemic that it's not rare anymore. At least, in the States it's not. I'm glad that you told your SW you were low... and proud of you too. I understand the feelings of mortification - I would've felt like that too, even though I am pretty sure that the med student has seen people like us before. *cuddles tight* I hope what I'm saying makes sense? :-S Sorry if anything I said offended, it's still early and I didn't sleep too well so my head's a bit muzzy. :-S

*cuddles Laura, MID, Quiet, JK, Nicole, Heather, Julie, Kahlia, Oliver, Jill, Jess, Becca, Hels, and anyone else I'm forgetting* Sorry for the lack of a lot of individual replies... am really not thinking too clearly - am very tired - at the moment and don't want to make a mess of things!! :-S

Edit - oh and I am pretty sure that the med student is bound to confidentiality, the only person I can imagine s/he could talk with about your problems is his/her supervisor, whoever that might be. So please, please try not to worry about other people knowing about the SI.

So erm today going to be intresting, I have hurt my
shoulder on the righthand side. Which I great has iam
right handed. so everthing need to be done with my
left, taking a shower this morning was so funny not,
could get my right hand above my head to wash off
the shampoo. Don't want to tell my dad,as I will get the
why don't you take pain killer if the pain that bad,
I would be a have a bit of a fear of tablets, stuiped I now.
Argh fml.

April you didn't offend me, not at all, But my S.I. is VERY personal and private to me .I just hate the fact that most people know , The people here know , thats ok because I know they are going through similar issues , but for some student , who must have been 10 years younger than me me ..........just ..........argg! and my social worker wants me to call him tommorow, he want'ed me to go down to the mental health resource centre but I have to wait in for the electic man or something and I only got the news he was coming yesterday......... so not a lot of notice *sigh* sorry

*Hugs Shadowedsouls Shoulder gently*

*hugs everyone if that's ok and then hides*

*Spots Wolfos , Helen and Oliver and group squishes*

I gave in and I cut , but thats just another ****ed up day in Marks little world .

Sorry. I'm such a waste of space....

You're not a waste of space at all, Mark, love. And I'm sorry if what I said came across wrong... it's just that my SI is not that private at all - I mean, I don't do it for attention, but it's just that people know about it and I don't mind. It's obvious, because I cut on my arms (usually) and am very scarred from that... and I refuse to wear long sleeves most of the time. I don't know. Does that make any sense? I hope so... *cuddles tight* Things will be okay. I'm sorry that you cut... did you take care of it properly? and did you manage to get the right kind of dressings? (sorry, am a bit lost when it comes to right and wrong types of dressings, must be a UK thing? I don't know, lol... and I apologize for sounding dense)

*cuddles Jill* Aw sweet, I'm sorry that your shoulder got hurt. :(

*cuddles Hels* What's up, love? I spy you!!

I also spy Mark & Oliver!! *cuddles*

Damnit, I am SO ANXIOUS today... :'( I really don't want to go into work today... :'( I'm going to be busy which will probably be good... but I don't know... arghhhh!!!! Sorry to whinge but I really just want to curl up in bed, got up at 5:30am today and that was dumb of me but I couldn't sleep any longer.

make it go away............ :crying:

*cuddles April & Mark*

My bestie went in this morning...

*hugs Mark* I can understand how you felt mortified by it. It's always really weird having somebody else know, and for your SW to jump right into it without at least mentioning it to you first seems a little harsh. But like April said, it's not a huge deal, per say, anymore. I wouldn't go around telling everyone, but when people find out usually they're not THAT shocked. Especially considering it was a med student, think of it as you did him a favor... no matter where he ends up working, he'll be bound to run into another similar situation. My doctor probably just got out of med school 2 years ago or so, which was (and still is) weird opening up to him about the SI, but it gives them good learning opportunities. Maybe that isn't what you want to hear right now, but I think it was a good thing. And I'm definitely proud of you for telling your SW that you were feeling low. I still can never face the truth and tell people IRL when I'm feeling depressed, so I admire your courage! And you are definitely NOT a waste of space at all <333

*hugs Becca and gives her LOTS of presents* I don't blame you for feeling that way, I always find getting presents is like a sign that people still remember me and care. Well, not so much the presents but at least a card...

*hugs Heather* In regards to the BMI thing, try not to worry about it hun. Easier said than done, I know... but numbers don't reflect your true beauty, and you are GORGEOUS. Don't let anything or anyone tell you otherwise :)

*offers Julie lots of fluffy pillows to sleep for a long time* Why'd the cops wake you up?

*hugs Jess* What's bothering you?

*hugs Kahlia and gives big package of motivational cookies* Sounds like you're really motoring through your assessments :) Sorry to hear you feel exhausted though. Doing all that work can really drain your energy!

*hugs Jill* Having a fear of tablets isn't stupid. I used to. Think of it as a blessing in disguise, you won't have to worry about ODing this way :) Sucks that you hurt your shoulder though :(

*hugs April* I need to go and read your r/v thread, I think I missed quite a bit. Waking up that early really sucks, but sometimes it's better than staying in bed? I don't know. Sometimes it feels that way to me. I wish I could make all the troubles go away, for everyone...

*hugs Helen, JK, Louise, Nicole, Kathryn, Lindsay, Oliver, Hayley, Hannah... and anyone else that I might have missed!*

*spies Taz and glomps!!!!* :D

Yeah, I agree with you, Taz, that sometimes getting up is better than staying in bed. Especially since I was getting anxious. :( I hate it when that happens... but oh well. :-/ I just wish that I hadn't woken up so early. But I'm at work now, and am calmed down more than I was at home. Home isn't a "safe place" for me anymore to air out how I'm feeling etc., because of the stuff that's been going on between Jarrod and me. I wrote about it all in my r/v thread... so read it if you want, you don't have to though. *hugs*

*cuddles Hels* Isn't that a good thing though? although I understand why you're still worried about her... but maybe this time will help more than the other times? (there were other times, right, if I'm remembering correctly?) And how are YOU doing??

I just went and got breakfast... stupid of me given that it's 10:15am and I didn't finish the breakfast I prepared for myself this morning... and Jarrod texted me about it asking me in what felt like a very accusatory fashion, "Why didn't you finish your breakfast?" No smiley faces in the text, no nothing. Just that question. No "I love you." Just that question. GRRRR!!! Sorry, but he's been making me really, really upset lately... r/v has more about that, don't wanna get into it here. :(

Anyway. Uhmmm... so I had to dress up today because there are county commissioners and "bigwigs" coming in today to see how the place at which I'm interning operates. Urgh. I have to sit at a meeting that lasts TWO HOURS MINIMUM.......... but hey, maybe it will be informative, maybe it won't, but at least I can leave after that. :-/ I think, anyway. I have to pick up cookies for tomorrow's thing, a senior expo (whatever that may mean)... ahhhh so much to do!! Then on Saturday there's a "Children's Health Fair" that I have to go to and help fit bike helmets. :-S Don't want to be around kids, hate kids. :( Oh well...

Anyway, enough for now... sorry for the rambling and whinging... :-S

i spy a hels... *cuddles*

updated r/v....... if anyone cares. :-S

It is a very good thing :) Just bit sad about it heh. But she's been on msn this afternoon, sounds like she's going to do well, but she accepts there will be hard days. But today's been a good start off for her, so that makes me bit happier :) Just wish my other best friend wasn't so poorly =[

I'm up and down today. I'll be fine?

*hugs Hels* Sounds like you're torn in two, one side of you for each friend. Sucks that they both can't be doing well at the same time :( It would probably make you feel a lot better! HEY! I thought we banned the F word in here? Or did somebody reinstate it in my absence? :S

*glomps April back :D* Oh wow, I definitely need to go and read your r/v thread then. I meant to do that after my last post, but I got sidetracked and forgot =/ AH! I'll do that right after this. And I do read most of the r/vs, well the members that post in here at least, because I care :) Sucks that things have been hard with Jarrod lately. I can see how that text wouldn't have helped at all =/ And I agree with you about hating kids... they annoy me. I'm not planning on having any... if anything, I'll adopt a couple once they're 10ish, and mostly out of the crying stage. Try your best to put on a fake smile for them though, it's not like they can tell the difference anyway (: Here's hoping your meeting goes well!

*Hugs Taz and April*
Thankyou for the kind words. I'm feeling more"Balanced" now . My SW still wants me to call him tomorow.......hmmmm

Taz you're right, the 'fine' word technically has been banned in here =P Naughty me. My best friend who's ill will be okay in a couple days, poor love :(

Going to see Leona Lewis, my last concert for a while, as no more booked!! Can't wait :)

Helen - have fun at the concert!! Glad to hear about your friend. *cuddles*

*hugs everyone else* sorry for lack of individual replies.

*curls up in a dark corner and goes back to sleep*

*Hugs Helen* I hope you have fun at Leona Lewis :-)

*Hugs Laura*

Crawls up into a smallish ball next to laura and tries to sleep even thought it's not yet 7pm :S

hi everyone

*Waves* Hi Louise :)

Ugh I know it's early but I was up early and I don't want to be awake now:(

http://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum...80#post2335180


^^My R/V thread , PM me or e-mail if you feel you like ,
Sorry.

Back to PLAN A , Sleep (I HOPE)

Ok today was a complete mission, wasn't a fun day my
shoulder was killing me allday, wasn't helped my the
boncey bus I was on in the morning, every time it hit a
bump by shoulder would go fly back on the seat and hurt
it more. Kept getting stuiped commets said to me like
iam a robot as I can't fully turn around on my right hand
side. Iam so overthis. =[ taz yeah your right but it's a
pain the ass,when your in pain and you can't take anything
because of that fear.

*Hugs Shadowedsoul* How's your shoulder?

*Tackles April* How are you? :)

Why can't I sleep , I'm so restless , Usually I'm so tired but tonight I keep going over what my SW says and wondering why he said I must call him tomorow........

Huggles mark back. Ermm still hurts, can hardly move it
to the right. Hopfully when I get some food down me, will
ask my mum to rub deepheat into my shoulder to see if
that helps it a little. Sleeping should be a barrel of laughs
to night. How are u tonight?

Having trouble sleeping tonight Shadowedsoul :( I hope you sleep ok

ughhh...

...feel like ****. again. feel like i need need need to cut and it's not going away.

taz and laura, thanks for the PMs. will try to reply soon. *hugs tight*

Huggles mark that sucks Hun, hope you get some sleep
soon,sorry not much help =[

huggles April,try and stay safe Hun, try not to cut, I know
that's easyer said than done. Sorry not being much help.

*cuddles everyone*

updated r/v...

*hides in a hole* :'(

Becca *hugs for everyone and cookies and safe care packages* :)