im trying, and applied fo income support, but with either one its gonna be at least 5 weeks till i get any money, and its unfair cause my mums still getting benefits for me.

couldn't you let the benefit people know you're living with your cousin and get benefits for yourself?

thats what we tried but it will be 5 weeks till i get any money, and the wont give us a crisis loan either. stupid government. but i dont know what to do, cause i cant live here!

hmmmm i'm afraid i may be useless to help any more than that... here in the us we have ways to speed up thing in certain instances and we have different programs than you guys do...

:( thanks for the help anyways. i'm just so scared of whats gonna happen cause i havent SIed in 2 weeks, but ive been back here for like an hour, and i REALLY need to cut. but i dont wanna ruin it...

*Huggles Nicole* Please try not to cut mate , and if you do it would be just a blip , I know the urges can be horrible

*huggles mark* i know. but it wont be, cause it will be everywhere, i can feel it, if i cut, i wont be able to stop.

*Hugs Nicole* Please try hard not to start in that case , play the 15 minute game with yourself maybe ?

whats the 15 minuite game? :/ i just know im failing everything and dont see why im even bothering to keep living :(

The 15 minute game is:-

you look at how you're feeling wanting to cut and say "in 15 minutes if still feel the same I'll do it " then in 15 minutes you check to see how you're feeling and if you still need to cut put it off for 15 more minutes , and repeat the process until you get distracted , stop getting urges , fall asleep , generally don't need to cut anymore

Hmm I hope I made that make sence .

oh, right, yeah you did lol. i might try it, at the moment, im thinking-is there any point in stopping, i love my self harm, i love the way it makes me feel, its all ive got.
and at the same time thinking-its stupid and you dont need it, youre past that now, forget about it.
and i dont know what to listen to :(

You are worth so much more than S.I. Nicole , You should tell yourself that . Do you really want to start again if you KNOW you won't be able to stop?

*cuddles Nicole*

yes. im sorry but yes, i need it, i cant live without it, its my life!

:( im sorry about that post ^^ i dont mean that, i'm just struggling with the urges, i cant control it, im not strong enough to.

It's okay to struggle with the urges , it shows you are trying to beat it *HUGS*

*hugs* my sisters picking on me already :'( i've been home 2 hours. and shes saying that i dont deserve anything cause the way i act. i dont DO anything, and even if i did, ive not been here!

Don't let your sister picking on you get to you , rise above it if you can and keep your distanse from her

i cant :(
i need a fag :(

*Hugs Nicole TONS*