*Hugs Ryuu* When do you see your cpn ?

Friday i see him

Could you make an emergency appointment with him or do you think you'll be able to hold on until Friday? I am concerned for you :S

i have just taken my anti psychotics ill give them time to work and see how they do if they dont do anything i will give him a call

Can I check in for a few days?

*curls up in a small corner so she isnt any bother*

Hi Hopeful again , Welcome to the ward . I'm Mark

*Hugs Ryuu*
Hi, HopefulAgain! I'm Felicia. Of course you can check in here!
*Hugs Mark* How are you?

So... I think I may tye dye a shirt today for banned book week, since our sponsor gave away my shirt I was supposed to get for working. whooo!

*offers all wardies hugs*

Just quickly popping in while I have a minute to say that although it has only been a day or so I'm missing you all terribly. I think that I may be addicted to the VPW. :-(

Life here without a computer is incredibly rough. But it can't rain all the time and sooner or later I will have to catch a break and something will finally have to go my way.

Take care and make sure that you take care of one another.

*Hugs Felicia* I'm getting nervous about my ever impending Psych Dr appoinment , I mean I've got to ask for him to prescribe me some Diazapam seen as my GP is not co-operating with that and I Need it but I don't want to come over as seeking meds I don't need and Diaz in addictive and I have an addictive personality but I really Need the Diaz for my Anxiety NOT for a "fix". , Does that make sense?

*Hugs Kahlia*

cuddles all, erm feeling very out of it right now, head feels fuzzy. dont feel like me, if that makes any sence.

Hello everyone.

*Hugs Jill* That makes sense yes .

*Hugs Lindsay*How are you doing?

*hugs heather* hope that you were able to get some sleep and that your day went well

*hugs mark* that makes sense about what you were saying to felicia about the doctors. I'm sorry that your GP isnt cooperating. You always seem to have problems with your meds, and you dont deserve it all all. *extra hugs* hope that the appointment goes well.

*hugs RYUU* please be honest with your cpn at your appointment on friday. Hope that your meds are helping. Don't listen to the devil, he is not right in what he is telling you.

*hugs lindsay* how have you been?

*hugs felicia* hope that the ty-dying goes well. That sucks that he gave away your shirt, but way to make the most of it by taking things into your own hands :-)

*hugs kahlia* I'm sorry that your computer is broken, that really sucks... I really miss everyone here when I dont post for awhile as well. I hope that you catch a break soon too b/c you really deserve a break.

*hugs hopefulagain* Of course you can come in! Hi! I'm Laura. We are a pretty friendly bunch most of the time :-)

*hugs jill* that does make sense. I wish I had some advice. I can understand the feeling of being really out of it though.

*hugs april, helen, crimson, oliver, julie, nicole, lia, taz, steph, and everyone else that hasnt posted recently*

I think im loosing stamina for fighting SI urges.. its been almost 2 weeks. Nobody would notice or anything, so sometimes i wonder why i try to quit. I guess just because cognitively i know that it is bad and maladaptive. Why does my mood come crashing down every time I have a happy moment? I hate that. Maybe I should just accept that things arent going to change, no matter how hard im trying to change them or what is going on... i'm always going to think like this.

*Hugs Laura* You won't always think like this Laura , you are right that you will have to work hard but you will beat this , we all will :) And ... almost 2 weeks is pretty good going :) Well done !!

*hugs mark* thanks, 2 weeks isnt that long for me though.. i have this pattern of stopping for about a month and then doing it a lot for a little bit and then stopping again... i feel like im stuck in a circle a lot of times with it. And I know that its hard to beat.. and I truly believe that every one of you in here can live free and happy... i just with I could believe that for myself.

curls up and hides.

I beleive you will live free and happy Laura *Hugs*

*Hugs Jill*

I also believe that, Laura. <3 *hugs tight* You CAN and WILL beat this monster we know that SI truly is. You are much stronger than you realize... and I mean that. We all are. I think that no one really knows the depth of his/her own strength... because - haven't you (all of you) noticed? - we all keep going. Even when it feels like we can't. Even when things hurt so terribly badly. Even when this, even when that... WE KEEP GOING. :) It's so very encouraging. Keep it up, everyone!!! <3

*cuddles Mark* I understand what you mean about wanting the diaz but not for a "fix." I just hope the doctor understands. Ugh. If s/he doesn't, should I pop on over there (if your teleporter is working, lol) and do some face-pounding? Heehee. No, I'm not violent, I promise, why do you ask? ;)

*cuddles Kahlia* I'm sorry that your comp isn't working... I would be lost without a comp to use, especially since I am not working (yet) and all. :( I hope that it can get fixed soon!!! Laura's right, you definitely deserve a break... keep hanging in there. *extra cuddles*

*hugs Jill* What's up, hon?

*hugs Lindsay* How're you, love?

*hugs Hopefulagain, if that's okay?* Welcome to the VPW!! :) I'm April. Glad to see another new face here. We're a very supportive, encouraging, friendly bunch so feel free to grab a chair and join in whatever discussion's going on. ;) Also, is there anything other than "Hopefulagain" you'd like us to call you? Like "Hope," or your first name? If not, that's fine, but just wondering what you prefer to be called. ^_^

*hugs Felicia* Hope you're surviving the wilds of uni. ;) Well, you & Laura both!! I'm so glad to be out of there, lol. How's Banned Book Week going? what book did you decide to read from? And as Laura said, well on you for taking things into your own hands to make yourself a shirt. ^_^ That's kind of exciting, I remember that I used to love tyedying things. :)

*cuddles everyone else* How're you all?

Sorry I didn't post for awhile... meh... I don't know really what I wish, for those who asked (thanks!!). I just... well, there are a lot of things I would wish for if I could. :( Like health/wellbeing for everyone here... and everyone in general... world peace... blah blah blah... the stuff that "everyone" would wish for. But for me personally... I wish that I could stop being so frickin' "up&down" and stop crying so much. :( I haven't cried today, which is surprising... have actually been in this really weird mood... which isn't much better since I'm pretty sure that some people now think I am certifiably nuts. :-X Which I may be... but... ehh. Don't like random people on the street catching me when I'm in weird moods like I was earlier today. :(

Ughhh. :( I feel so... stupid. And ugly. And nasty. And gross. Just... :'(

On the upside... wait, is there one??!... ummm, one good thing, think of one good thing, April, you can do it. Well, I made Jarrod smile/laugh yesterday when I started talking about the "phantom people" in the apartment next to us... because seriously, I have never seen anyone coming in & out of that apartment, yet there's a toddler wailing in there more often than not and people talking and taking showers/baths and whatnot... and then Jarrod pointed out that people don't usually/ever see US. So we're phantom people too!!! Lol.

Okay, I will shut up now. :(

*Hugs April , my phantom sis:)* OOhh I really should run my teleporter more often April , you could pop over and we we could have tea , british it up for you :)

*hugs Mark* that does make sense. I hope you can get the Diaz. Also if your doctor is an ass about it, I will totally teleport up there. I'm a force to be reckoned with. Let me tell you.
*Hugs April* You are not stupid or nasty or any of that. You are wonderful.

So... I made one of my art major friends print me a shirt design. It's got a book on the front and says "Concord University Banned Books Week 2010" and It has a quote from Oscar Wilde. This one: "The books that the world calls immoral are books that show the world its own shame."

And I tie dyed it.. while other people were tie dying different shirts. I ALWAYS have to stand out.