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-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

sapphire hearts 11-07-2012 08:06 PM

*hugs butterfly* I'm sorry things are so bad at the moment, and that the crisis team didn't listen to you. Do you have a regular therapist or a friend/family member you can talk to and who can help keep you safe?

Gem-Louise 11-07-2012 09:09 PM

i have a mental health worker that was supposed to phone me today and she hasnt and now there office is closed and i dont have anyone else i just dont know what to do ...i dont see the point in going back to AandE when i have been once already today and it didnt help me

YodaBearInterrupted 12-07-2012 01:26 AM

*hugs all*

Sorry for the random in and out. I feel bad about doing that. Back in here again cause I failed. Or is it going to fail? Things happened today that caused me to quickly go into depression and a bit of psychosis with the Voices. I tried to go for a walk and listened to some music and it helped a lil, but its all coming back. I hate myself. What did I do to deserve this? All I wanted was understanding and love. Love mostly from my parents. Not for them to ignore me and help my younger siblings to no end. I love my siblings, trust me I do. Just wish... you know... I could get the same help they did? Have my parents tell me they love me and want to help me? *tears up some* I dunno how I do this everyday... I should just do stupid stuff... then they paid attention to me even though it was negative... I should do that. I think I will. Make me feel better

sapphire hearts 12-07-2012 03:30 AM

*hugs YodaBearInterrupted* I'm sorry your family is so unsupportive of you. Don't do anything stupid honey. Don't hurt yourself, they're not worth it. It won't help you in the long run. Is there anyone you can talk to? xxx

*hugs butterfly* I'm so sorry no one is around, but please don't hurt yourself.

Both of you, PM me anytime. Stay safe. I love you both.
Katie x

happiness...its all a lie 12-07-2012 08:39 AM

*hugs all*

im so nervous and scared of this interview :( I cant not get it. I MUST have this job at all costs. I hate being this nervous. ahh. It sucks but at least its an easier feeling to cope with and then crash after it until i find out what they say.

Gem-Louise 12-07-2012 09:53 AM

*hugs sapphire* thanks hun :(

*hugs happiness* hope you get it hun and it goes well thinking of you

happiness...its all a lie 12-07-2012 01:59 PM

thanks, it went well i just want to know now if i got it. Im so nervous and worried and stressed all at once.

Laura2.0 12-07-2012 08:34 PM

*hugs all* sorry I wasn't here in the last few days. I'm struggling with my ego states and don't have much time to turn on the computer.

happiness...its all a lie 12-07-2012 10:19 PM

hey laura how you doing now?

*curls up in corner* i want to sleep but everytime i shut my eyes bad things appear.

xMakeSomeNoisex 13-07-2012 03:16 AM

*stares blankly at the wall*

I am so mad at myself, I specifically didn't go out to dinner with my family so I wouldn't have to eat but they brought me something home and I didn't have much of a choice. It wasn't a high calorie or high fat food but still I didn't want to eat. It is making me uncomfortable and making me want to well do something that is bad. Tonight officially sucks. *sigh* I am just going to take something that will knock me out so this day can already be over and I can do better tomorrow.

midnightphoenix 13-07-2012 10:09 AM

*hugs everyone* how are you all? I really need to be productive and go clean the bathroom

happiness...its all a lie 13-07-2012 10:36 AM

good luck cleaning. Im just waiting for a phone call i really want it today to see if i got a job so im a little inpatient lol.

sapphire hearts 13-07-2012 01:59 PM

sick :( not fun.

midnightphoenix 13-07-2012 02:03 PM

hugs saphire

I'm absolutely frozen today and the bathroom sink's still a bit gunged up and I don't know how to degunge it because the spray's not working

happiness...its all a lie 13-07-2012 02:42 PM

Hugs, hope you feel better.

i ****ING hate families they do my nut in. Im just a bloody failure to them. I may as well be dead. I dont do this, i dont do that. Im just a bollocks daughter who should never have been born.

xMakeSomeNoisex 13-07-2012 03:07 PM

*hugs happiness*
I know what you mean, I am the failure in my family and the messed up one, just a huge disappointment.
You would not be better off dead, your family loves you in there own way even if they say things that hurt you. I am sorry you are having a rough time but I am always here if you want to talk.

*curls in in bed*
I feel like a ninny for freaking out about dinner last night, it is just one of the many things that come with having eating issues (it didn't help that I hadn't been able to sleep in days). I took something to get some sleep last night and feel much better this morning, finally got some much needed sleep, it sucks that I can't sleep without pills it annoys me. Hopefully today goes better than yesterday.

happiness...its all a lie 13-07-2012 05:11 PM

thanks hun, i just feel so rubbish right now.

I hope you feel calmer today and the food thing is ok. Rest well and look after yourself.

Laura2.0 13-07-2012 06:26 PM

*hugs all* sorry I'm not posting much lately... I'm busy stabilzing myself and I have JuJitsu now.

RootsbeforeBranches 13-07-2012 11:54 PM

I have had the day from hell - got a new blade and I just want to use it

sapphire hearts 14-07-2012 04:13 AM

*hugs everyone* sorry everyone seems to be struggling so much atm

Roots - I know how tempting it is, but please don't use it, it won't help in the long run *hugs*

So tired of this. Flashbacks almost non-stop. Who can function like this?

m0nk 14-07-2012 06:10 AM

ok so i went and cut myself again. ****ing thoughts are too much. ppl stressing me out. thoughts that arent mine are in my vicinity and is bothering me.

Don't let my smile fool you,
It's only a diguise.
My life is like lightning,
and rained filled skies.

Don't let my laugh fool you,
I just am scared to tell the truth.
Don't assume my life is perfect,
Until you have your proof.

Don't let my expression fool you,
I just can't show you how I feel.
My heart has always been broken,
And I doubt it will ever heal.

Don't let my easygoing spirit fool you,
Don't think that I won't care.
Because when I need you the most,
I'm expecting you to be there.

happiness...its all a lie 14-07-2012 08:44 AM

I cant deal with this **** anymore. I keep thinking about him and it makes me sad. It makes me mad. I cant cope with the money. I dont knwo i cant do this. I have a brand new blade just waiting sat there waiting for me.

Doikers 14-07-2012 11:50 AM

*Huggles Faye* Can you throw the blade away , Please be careful hun .

Laura2.0 14-07-2012 02:48 PM

*hugs Faye* here if you want to talk. Can you get rid of your blade?

*hugs Mark* how are you today?

I've had a first aid course today and it was really informative. I'm still tired and dizzy, because I had to take calming medication yesterday evening/night twice and being dizzy the next day seems to be a side effect.

happiness...its all a lie 14-07-2012 02:56 PM

*snuggles mark* i cant get rid of the blade. I havent cut i just need it for comfort for now ill try to put it away later

sapphire hearts 14-07-2012 04:11 PM

*hugs faye* it's ok honey, just try not to use it okay? please keep yourself safe - if you can't, could you go and be somewhere around other people where you can't hurt cut?

*hugs Laura* apart from the side effects, how you doing honey?

happiness...its all a lie 14-07-2012 04:29 PM

Nope all my friends are out well the 2 that i have near me, my bro has gone and my mums at work til later. I feel rubbish i want to do damage. Im trying not to. I distracted myself as much as possible but im running out of ideas.

Hope your feeling better laura *hugs*

How are you katie? x

sapphire hearts 14-07-2012 04:42 PM

bath? or go for a run? don't know what the weather's like for you, but in Scotland *whispers* it's actually sunny! (if you don't whisper the sun might hear you and leave, lol) i used to find knitting really soothing when i wanted to harm, because it's cathartic and keeps your hands busy while you watch tv or something :)

I'm... as always. doesn't matter much.

happiness...its all a lie 14-07-2012 04:53 PM

I just had a shower but due to my leg(its broken) cant run or drive or anything. Its raining here. The cat is sat with me which is nice and i just dont know im online doing things but i just dont know how much more i can take.

Do you want to talk?

sapphire hearts 14-07-2012 04:58 PM

Nah, it's nothing important. so sick of how whiny I get on here, lol, so resolution to stop boring people with my sh*t and save it for R&V or journal.

Sorry to hear about your leg :( that sucks. do you bake? I always like baking, plus yummy cookies after! Glad your cat is sitting with you - good kitty * won't stroke - allergies - but waves at kitty* Are there online games you play? Or maybe write a story or poem about how you're feeling?

Laura2.0 14-07-2012 05:43 PM

*hugs faye*
*hugs Katie*

I feel fat, I ate too much today but my mom is a good cook so I couldn't resist and ate until there wasn't much left. Excited to go watch a movie with a friend later. The new spiderman movie.

sapphire hearts 14-07-2012 06:24 PM

food is good *nods*

hope you have fun at the movies - let me know if the spiderman one is any good!

midnightphoenix 14-07-2012 06:31 PM

Since the early hours of the morning I've had this idea that I need to get rid of my ribs otherwise they're going to reach out from inside me and strangle me. I am so unsafe right now. I need one of my tools but it means I've got to go upstairs and get one.

sapphire hearts 14-07-2012 06:50 PM

all i do is hurt ppl. not gonna post anymore. so sorry to everyone i hurt. thank you for everything.

midnightphoenix 14-07-2012 07:12 PM

sapphire we're all here for you, please keep talking (hugs)

happiness...its all a lie 14-07-2012 07:48 PM

katie honey *snuggles* talk whats up? you havent hurt us we love you *snuggles more*

*makes kitty wave paw back* hes good to me really lol. I didnt bake in the end haha. My mum is dragging me out 2mz :( i dont want to go. I did random stuff now im chilling watching twilight getting my fix of edward and teaching my mum how to use ebay which is fun...

sapphire hearts 14-07-2012 09:48 PM

I hurt sum1 in the Safe Room. I'm poisonous and thoughtless and insensitive, and evry1 here has been thru 2 much for me 2 do this to them. im so so sorry

xMakeSomeNoisex 14-07-2012 09:54 PM

*hugs everyone* sorry everyone is having a rough time lately.

*lays in bed staring at the ceiling*
I feel pretty sucky physically today. Last night I ended up binging and purging, so naturally today I have a horrid stomach ache and a headache, that just adds to the fact that last night I laid in bed for 2 hours trying to sleep because I was tired but nope my mind apparently had other plans. So I was stuck awake all night and no amount of medication was getting me to sleep which sucks. So today I feel sick and am in a very very pissy mood and keep snapping at everyone around me because of it. I want to calm down but I can't and just feel annoyed and can't stand anyone.

happiness...its all a lie 14-07-2012 10:11 PM

Katie honey, i had a look. The person understands it was a mistake you didnt know, they are ok and not upset or angry. You dont do anything to hurt us. Honestly its all sorted and fine now :D

Hey makesomenoise sorry your having a hard time, maybe you could have a nice bath and take some paracetamol and get into bed and just try to relax with music or reading and then maybe drop off to sleep?

*leaves cuddles*

midnightphoenix 14-07-2012 10:18 PM


Originally Posted by sapphire hearts (Post 3297163)
I hurt sum1 in the Safe Room. I'm poisonous and thoughtless and insensitive, and evry1 here has been thru 2 much for me 2 do this to them. im so so sorry

No you're not insensitive sapphire :rose:

xMakeSomeNoisex 14-07-2012 10:23 PM

Thanks happiness,
I tried to lay in bed and relax with some music but it just isn't working.
I am just exhausted, I want to have a nice cup of tea but since I am out of my lactose free fat free milk I can't. I just haven't been getting much sleep and it really is wearing on me because I am already having a lot of trouble with my eating issues and the lack of sleep is turning me into a moody, grumpy, mean person. Also added stress for me is that tonight my mother decided we are having pizza, so yay now I get to be extremely anxious and stressed about that. On days like these I really shouldn't be around people because I tend to snap at everyone for the littlest things.

sapphire hearts 14-07-2012 10:32 PM

I am, all I do is hurt people. I'm so sorry, to everyone, here and in the Safe Room. I'm the person that you all want to hide from, the thoughtless, insensitive poisonous person that caused you all so much pain. I'm so so sorry.

RootsbeforeBranches 15-07-2012 04:19 AM

*hugs sapphire* Youre not that person at all.

I'm now planning how to harm and hide it - I feel like this is a whole new, bad, stage of SH

bluedusteyes 15-07-2012 05:47 PM

*walks in; settles in corner with a good book*

Laura2.0 15-07-2012 07:50 PM

*hugs all*
welcome to the ward bluedustedeyes.

midnightphoenix 15-07-2012 08:06 PM

*hugs everyone then goes into corner of ward and curls up shaking* it's all my fault

risenfromperdition 15-07-2012 08:22 PM

you dont hurt anyone sapphire <3 you not poisin. nope. <3

happiness...its all a lie 15-07-2012 08:59 PM

Sapphire your lovely sweetheart you always listen to me when your struggling. You are a kind caring considerate loving person *hugs*

*leaves hugs for everyone*

could do with some safe cuddles please feel scared and frightened and alone.

midnightphoenix 15-07-2012 09:01 PM

*Hugs and snuggles Happiness*

happiness...its all a lie 15-07-2012 09:03 PM

thank you midnight star x

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