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dark_light 27-05-2008 10:41 AM

I'm feeling really panicky today, no one would believe me until they did my pulse and it was 125.
I am moving into the denial tent permanently with my power shower and luxury shower products.

How are you? least its only 2 days now

effervescence 27-05-2008 11:40 AM

yeah, i know, but its getting harder and harder to be "good" :(

are you panicky for any reason? *gives you hot chocolate*

dark_light 27-05-2008 02:06 PM

*pounces on chocolate* thanks needed that!

You've done so well just keep going for 2 days we're all here hon, i know how hard it is and i know 2 daays can seem neverending but you can do it!

I'm panicky cos i woke up panicky, then i saw my dr who talked about when i go back to the hostel, i can't call it home, and i really don't want to go back there. My flat won't be ready for another 5/6 mths. Not that they are looking at discharge yet anyway. Its like i don't want to be in hospital but theres nowhere i do want to be :(

blondiebear 27-05-2008 02:10 PM

Yesterday we saw some great ruins at Chaco Canyon. Only some one I know hot heat sick, not enough to drink. Still it was absolutely awesome. My husband has planned for us to see more ruins today.

I am a week and a half from home and have a tooth ache. My husband was good enough to look it over for me and sees no evidence of a cavity. It is off and on, so I'll just have to remember to eat on the other side. I'm also nervous cause if it needs a filling it will be my first in 20 years! oooh it hurts.

MammaMia 27-05-2008 02:33 PM


Originally Posted by Pomegranate (Post 794435)
Hope you are doing ok Helen, you are doing really well ignoring the urges, keep going! *hugs*

Ignoing what urges....:notsure: If you mean cutting...then you're wrong :crying: *hugs Emma*


Originally Posted by ~*forever_lost*~ (Post 794448)
*snuggles Helen, Amanda, Emma, Alexx, Hana, and anyone else that needs/wants one*

Oh. Wow. I was BAD:pinch: just drove while intoxicated:Foot In Mouth: was very careful and all, made it there and back alright but... Good lord, what an idiot am I ?!

*retreats to her corner with her blanket and... Tools :pinch:* **** me:crying:

*snuggles Ally* Don't drive again when you're intoxicated please? Damm the tme difference indeed.

Jo, how you feeling?

Chloe, hope you're hanging on sweetheart! xxx

Susan, sounds like fun :)

*hugs Jermery, Jo, Chloe, Susan, Callie, Alex, Jess and anyone else who needs 'em*

Jetforce 27-05-2008 02:39 PM

*huge hugs helen*

I read ur post in Arrrgh, i hope ur ok there...
Have u patched urself up yet? Hope so...try and tc of urself xx

MammaMia 27-05-2008 03:54 PM

*huge hugs back*

Nah I haven't patched it up tbh. Might put a plaster over it....

dark_light 27-05-2008 04:44 PM

I'm... just about ok with meds for the panic.

Hells please take care and patch yourself up *hugs*

At my dads so internet working!!!

~*forever_broken*~ 27-05-2008 05:02 PM

You people and my meds, lol. Today will make it a week, I'll see about taking them after that. Just an experiment gone awry *shrug*

Oh. Chloe, you're right... I'd been sick and felt much less intoxicated so wasn't worried about hurting myself or anyone else but you're right... They'ed give a **** and I'd become even more nuts than I already am:pinch:

Chloe, two more days luv, you're doing so well. lol is it strange that I am 'excited' for you that it's two days now? *snuggles*s

Blondie-mom, I'm sorry to hear about your tooth ache :-( I hope it goes away soon *hugs*. It sounds like you're trip is a lot of fun otherwise though.

Helen, you ok there luv? How bads the cut? *snuggles*

Jo *massive hugs* wish I knew what to say to make things better. To be sure I shouldn't be talking with my aversion to hospital but I'm sure if they're keeping you it's for a good reason, for 'your own good' as it were. No help, I know, sorry.

Jeremy, happy birthday :-) hope all is well hun and you've manahed to get some sleep.

Hmmm, I'll whine later, lol, lectures gonna start

MammaMia 27-05-2008 05:07 PM


Originally Posted by dark_light (Post 795623)
I'm... just about ok with meds for the panic.

Hells please take care and patch yourself up *hugs*

At my dads so internet working!!!

Yay for internet working, even if it is at your dads. :hop: *hugs Jo lots* Everyone keeps telling me to patch it up....no point even putting plaster over it...atm anyway!!


Originally Posted by ~*forever_lost*~ (Post 795670)
Helen, you ok there luv? How bads the cut? *snuggles*

*snuggles Ally* It's not too bad at the moment.....I'm not okay *cries*

dark_light 27-05-2008 05:09 PM

I'll shut up about it then:)

Whats up hon?

MammaMia 27-05-2008 05:21 PM

Sorry Jo if I sounded rude. :)

Oh just people pissing me off because they can't get the simple messgae of "I don't want you as my friend and leave me alone"

That's just one of the things, I wrote a bit of ranty post in my thread if you wanna see? :) x

dark_light 27-05-2008 05:27 PM

Well at least you are putting yourself first thats good. i had people like that pestering me on facebook and stuff so i blocked them now.

zowie 27-05-2008 05:40 PM

*joins ally and helen in the corner with wine*
I feel horrible.

MammaMia 27-05-2008 05:52 PM

Jo, yeah I guess it is good :)

Zowie, what's wrong sweetheart?

Ugh. My mum is doing my head in >.< I am wearing my armwarmers again today. No comment yesterday but today she automatically asked if I'd been cutting my hand again. I said no...(forgetting there's a cut on my hand- which was an accident tho)...and she asked anywhere else...and I went nooo. She's like good cus you don't wanna be doing that blah de blah. WTF does it matter if I have? :S Course me forgets she wants me to finish trying clothes on which will bare my entire arm. Godamm >.< I'll try them on when she's out I guess...and hope it's looking more better on Thursday when I go swimming.

**** why do I forget this important situations...>.<

dark_light 27-05-2008 05:57 PM

*hugs zowie*
Whats up hun

helen mums are just like that, i think they are sent to try us it like a rule of the universe or something :)

MammaMia 27-05-2008 05:59 PM

Jo, I think you're right hun. I really do. LOL! I mean I love her to bits and we're pretty close. But I'm still uncomfortable with her knowing bits about my "bad side" as I call it...she still doesn't really understand how to deal with my self harm. I wish she just ignored it tbh. >_<

~*forever_broken*~ 27-05-2008 06:22 PM

I've got three papers due the end of this week and I am SO not even close to done with any of them. I've got lectures to attend and work to go to every day this week... I am exhausted and I just don't know how I'm going to get these done...

And I don't know if I want to try and get in to see my therapist tomorrow... actually I know I don't want to... but I'll email him anyway I guess...

What I REALLY want to do..? Go home, climb into bed and sleep forever:crying: damn it all to hell

Sorry everyone is not doing too well... even more sorry I'm so useless atm...

dark_light 27-05-2008 06:27 PM

Helen - i know its easier when people just ignore rather than say the wrong thing, my mum has this weird fascination and always wants to see and i hate people seeing.

Ally - maybe seeing someone will help, can you get extensions on your papers? does seem a lot to have on.

zowie 27-05-2008 06:54 PM

I just wrote my partner a letter, because he said he wants to be single for a while (long story - There's a thread in vets support about it). Writing it's really drained me.
Plus I went to a funeral today which bought me down.
And I know that tonight I'm going to break my one month free of SH.

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