*hides away in a corner*

I'd quite like to just give up now...

*cuddles everyone*

Feel crap right now. Ha >.<

*huggles hells*

*cuddles Katie*

*curls up into a ball and rocks* Counselling tomorrow thank god =\

Oh yay for counselling =) hope it goes well tomorrow xx

blah... *sits in corner*

Thanks sweetie, I'm sure it'll be fine, just hope she's kept my appointment for me.

*runs over and squishes Katie lots*

I hope so too =)

*squishes*

*squishes*

I'm off to bed xxxxx

Night!!!! *cuddles*
take care <3 love you xx

*gives hugs to all in here and then sits in the corner and rocks back and forth*

I'm scared...

*Triggering*


Things are really bad at the moment. Beth keeps telling me to get a knife and go out into the street and tear people open. The Man keeps telling me he's poisoned my drinks because I deserve to die. I'm so thirsty, but part of me wants to drink the poison and die because I do deserve it.
Saw my boyfriend yesterday. Beth says he hates me and he's never going to end this 'break' because I'm a horrible person.
Going to cut. House is empty. Maybe it'll stop them screaming at me.

I want to cut ... really bad. I'm not sure how much longer I can keep winning this fight. I know that some of it is there because I'm starting ECT again in the morning and really don't want to.

Or maybe it's because I'm such a f*ck up.

What's the point anymore?

*hugs everyone then crawls under a bed*

Damm thing made me lose my post :angry: :angry: :angry: :angry:

Does anyone actually care that I'm really struggling?? :-(
I told my dad I was feeling really **** and he just said 'I'm busy love' and walked off.
I called my CPN and she said she'd ring back. That was four hours ago.

I don't think I can control myself anymore. Someone is going to die today. If I don't kill myself I'm going to really hurt someone.

I care Zowie, I'm sorry your Dad is being like that and your CPN should be ashamed of themself!! I can only imagine how hard this is on you right now but I have seen you get through some really tough **** before and I believe you can get through this too. Has your CPN suggested any ways to drown out the voices?

i give a sh*t zowie, can you block the voices? try giving your CPN a ring back, its disgraceful that you should have to but sometimes things like that happen

Thank you guys. My CPN still hasn't called back and they shut at 5 (It's quater to). The woman from EIP was meant to ring me at the beginning of last week and she still hasn't called.
My dad let me walk with him to pick up my little sister so I didn't have to be in the house alone, so he obviously cares.
But the so called professionals obviously don't care and I feel like I'm not worth ****.
Have managed to keep myself safe throughout today (except for an excessive ammount of SI), and will get through tonight by taking my meds and going to bed.
Don't know how I'll get through tomorrow. Or the night if I wake up. Sometimes I can't get to sleep because the voices wont leave me alone.

Have you got an out of hours number you can call?

Zowie - I feel with you on this one. I hate when the voices wake me up when I'm asleep. I care, and I'm sorry I'm no good at showing it.

Today I re-start the ECT. I'd much rather run away. I had f*ck all sleep last night. This day is going to be horrendous.

Meh.

*hugs everyone*

*hugs everyone*

Sorry it's not more :(