I am tired of everything and I just want to give up... its just been a bad few weeks and I have been hanging on, but I really don't feel like it... sigh.

*checks self in and stares at the wall*

*hugs all*

Sorry for not posting yesterday or updating on Sunday.
I couldn't resist any longer. I harmed on sunday, not badly though.
I had 2 appointments with my therapist. One on Monday, the other today. I didn't tell him though. He wants me to go IP again anyway, if I tell him that I harmed again he'll make me go IP.

*flops down for a rest* hey all... i hope you all are doing OK. It's really hard to keep up with everyone when I'm on so sporadically and believe me there are days I can't get online that I really feel I could benefit from being here.

I'm just starting to surface from a 3 week down-slide. There were a few days that I really thought I was coming out of it just to end up in a pool of tears by the time the day ended. I'm not even 100% sure I'm really at the end of it now, but I hope so. I haven't harmed this entire time, but it's been a huge challenge to keep myself from doing so.

I'm fighting a tough internal battle with myself and I've had a couple of really hard discoveries about myself and my family. For example: lately I've been really struggling with my own anger issues. I sometimes feel this out of control rage inside and it's completely irrational and out of control, despite the fact that I realize I'm not being rational at the time. This is something my dad had when I was younger. We always used to blame it on the medications he was on, but I'm beginning to realize it may have been something more and that maybe all this anger I've had toward him for so long is wasted... because maybe he couldn't control it either and it wasn't just the meds.

I'm rambling and I know it.... truthfully I don't even care if anyone reads this... I think it just helps to get it out there and get it out of my head.

*Hugs Kelly * It great that you didn't injure :) *Hugs*

*Hugs Laura* I understand you not wanting to go IP , Here or ( More Likely ) on FB for you *Huggles*

*Waves to Aamanee* I've had that urge sometimes , it's horrid, I hope you're okay.

*Hugs Matt* You can get through this mate , I know it's hard sometimes , for me too right now most days , but it will get better :)

*comes and sits down in the corner and cries*

*Hugs Georgia* Whats wrong?

Just..everything is really hard right now...and I've just found out that one of my best friends is in hospital again because she bashed her head against a wall. Its just...urgh :'(

*Squishes Georgia* I Hope your Friend is okay .

*hugs Georgia* hope your friend is okay as well

I am Matt btw.

I hope things get better cause they aren't rght now...

*walks in quietly, finds a place in the corner, curls up as tight as she can, and tries to hide*

* hugs Mark* thanks for your support
*hugs Kelly*
*hugs Georgia*
*hugs BoundNoMore* sorry, don't know your name.

*Hugs Amanda if okay*

*hugs Mark*

*Squishes Laura*

*ninja hugs Mark* how are you?

*hugs Laura* did you get my buddy request?

*stays in corner where she knows its safe*

*hugs Georgie* I dunno where I can check if I got a buddy request...

*hugs BoundNoMore*

oh ok lol..and I thought I was the newbie! :P

did you send a ryl buddy request?
I didn't even know that was possible.