*is massively proud of Helen for going*

*hugs for Carole and Kit*

hope you are all doing well

*goes back to Denial Tent*

*hugs Helen, Carole, Kit, and Callie*

Good job for going Helen, I'm proud of you :-) Please take care sweetie. It sucks, I know. *warm snuggles*

*hands Kit a cup of peppermint tea*
Good stuff when you're not feeling well.

*offers around a tray with tea, coffee, cocoa, and biscuts, then retreats to her corner for a nap*

I slep for something like 10 hours (which I never do, I'm lucky if I get 6 and it's never good) last night and I am STILL so exhausted. Not very conducive to the take home exam (complete with essays) that I have to do tonight :(. *sigh* Ah well, last one for the term.

*cries quietly in her corner*

*offers Alyssa one of the big blankets in the Denial Tent*

*hugs for Alyssa, Kit, Carole, and Emma*

gah i am falling asleep at work no good no good
MUST STAY AWAKE

*storms in*
GAH!! MY DOCTOR SUCKS!!
I reallly really needed to see him ASAP because these meds are making me feel awful....kinda suicidal all the time and really paranoid and to make it worse....i find the idea of killing myself AMUSING
and his secretary was like "he can only see you at the [inserts long surgery name here] tomorrow morning.."
"I cant make that though :/"
"well then he cant see you til the 25th as arranged..."



WTF?!?!?!
I'LL BE DEAD BY THEN!!!!
*cries*

Alexx honey go tomorrow morning!
why can't you make it then? this is more imp than classes or work
make it happen!
take care sweetie
*opens flap of Denial Tent for you if you want to come hide with us and be safe and sound for a bit*

Thanks Callie:hop:

Thanks....it does suck. I still want death meh :(

Oh well, actually looking forward to ONE lesson tomorrow, but dont wanna be there the rest of the time, seriously :crying:

I dont have a class til the afternoon...
But I dont know where the surgery is...
and have no way of getting there because my parents are on holiday :crying:
*crawls in*
*curls up*
*dies*

Thank you for the cup of tea i am keeping myself destracted by watching movies

*accepts blanket from Callie*
Mmm big, cozy blanket...

*offers Callie some coffee to help wake her up*
There's pleanty of stuff to put in it in case you don't actually like the taste of coffee.

*wraps Alexx up in a warm, cuddly blanket and snuggles her gently*
Please don't die, we love you too much.

*hugs Helen and Carole*
Glad you're looking forward to one class at least Helen, that makes it a little nicer at least (though not necessarily nice).

*Moves over next to Kit to see what she's watching... Brings some popcorn*
Glad you've got something to keep you distracted hun. Hope you are feeling better soon.

*sigh* being this tired is making me feel SO damn low... I hate it... I'm having some graphic thoughts (along the lines of suicide), and wishing I could OD. Hope it passes soon...

*looks up,wipes tears away and sniffles*
*Whispers* Thankyou
*hugs*

Alexx, CALL THEM or GO ONLINE and get directions please!
you can take a taxi? public transport? a friend can drive you?

*huggles Alexx*
either way, it will be okay

*sits with Kit and Alyssa and downs lots of coffee*
gah i feel so messed up

Helen tomorrow will be okay. take it one day at a time sweetie.

eep

I'm really paranoid that I'll get lost...I dont know the area that well...and there's no guarentee i'll even get an appointment.

I have no money for taxi/public transport and i cant get anyone to drive me...
but thanks for the suggestions...

I'm just gonna have to ride it out ><
xx

*huggggs* Yeah it helps me, and I think I might tell a teacher at college tomorrow....about how I feel. :blink:

I'm trying....just wanna be dead, oh well that can wait a few days I guess :notsure:

Yay...Helen tell them, seriously it would be amazing for you to have someone in regular contact to talk to and who would help *proudly shows off Helen* *hugs* xx

Alexx- your doctor sucks hun! Is there definitely no way whatsoever that you could get to them tomorrow? No money hidden in jeans etc for the bus? *hugs you too and scares away your scary thoughts with a stick*

*offers mini cadbury cream eggs around*

Good Luck with your exams Ally :)

*hugs Callie and sends warm extra hugs for her incase she needs them tomorrow at her appointment*

*hugs anyone I missed out*

And as for me...apparently I have BPD. Well, yes. What a surprise that is eh? hmmm And also I apparently self medicate with alcohol which makes things worse and my drinking may perhaps be out of control along with the self harm. His solution: refer me to The Olive Tree (apparently a special unit for people with personality disorders), psychology, double my AD and offer me anti anxiety medication. Problem: 12 month waiting list for psychology, AD makes me feel spacy, he's not sure how long Olive Tree waiting list is and I don't think I suffer from anxiety.

My counter solution because I am oh so responsible and capable lol= go out and get very drunk.

*hugs Carole* I'm sorry I can't offer more hun but thinking of you x

*hugs for everyone again*

Im back

I only just woken up, am so tired its untrue (i missed college again today (****) )

Is really proud of Helen for going in *huggs*
hows everyone doing?

*crawls back under blanket and hides from the world*
xx

*hugs back*
no..I've checked....its stupid...how can i NOT have money for crying out loud?
its stupid..:crying:

Hun I know how you are feeling, I got diagnosed with BPD yesterday and was told that I self medicate with alcohol (which is out of hand) and self harm.

I been referred to someone to, but god knows how long the wating list is tho I did start some form of DBT yesterday and all it did was make me feel stupidly tired.

I hope you are ok *big big huggles*

*feels safer in the denial tent then have done all week*

xx

I'm so scared. Might bottle out. I wish my old tutor wasn't off, otherwise....he would have been told from me =[