I dunno. I feel ok but yet a here but no one home thing going on. Hiding away till it all makes sense. *hugs* how are you today?

Not really Shattered1 but its only a cold il be ok eventually. I trying to not let it get me down but it hasnt really worked. Wow i sound pathetic as usual!

*hugs all who want hugs*

*waves to all others*

Ian you are not pathetic at all.

I have really bad urges to OD again

*Hugs Oliver* I'm sorry your having strong urges to od. Can you try and distract yourself? Maybe do something to keep you busy?

*hugs Ian* i'm trying to distract myself, talking to some people online and listening to the Archers, but still got strogn urges

Oh im sorry oliver :( im here if you need to talk. Your welcome to pm me anytime :)

thanks Ian *hugs*

looks up from her spot in the corner

Sorry you not feeling better yet Atlantica, and no you not sound pathetic...can feel really miserable when have a cold

Oliver sorry to hear you feel like OD'ing

Now that I awake, (I have found the really bad disassociation makes me exhausted and I tend to fall asleep for awhile) I got flashes of stuff going through my head of what happened with ex-boyfriend's when i was a teenager...not good. Not helping

*wraps blanket around herself tighter and starts rocking...gonna put movie in Ironman to try distract myself, but if not work don't know what i gonna do...already have physical symptoms of the urges

Sorry for the long break... hey everyone! I just am feeling like a disappointment and like I shouldn't be here like alive.......... *looks down dejectedly*

*Hugs Crimson*

*Waves to Angel*

*Hugs Ian* You don't sound pathetic .

*Hugs Oliver*

*Hugs Shattered1*

*Hugs Megz*

hey guys, hugs to you all.

Do you ever find, just tags like *contains abuse/suicide or whatever make you wanna punch yourself in the face or am I a little loco?

*Hugs Mara*

hugs everyone

Still snuggling under my hello kitty fleecey blanket. Tis nice..... anyone want a corner?

*snuggles with Tiffany*

Nice blanket this.

*Hugs Louise*

*Hugs Lindsay*

*Hugs Tiff*

How are you all?

I'm exhausted and really want to sleep.

You?

Pretty Tired but not sleepy *Hugs*

i am so so not been to great.

*Hugs angel21*

*jumps into ward and waves*

*Waves to Angel*

*Hugs Tiff*

*Tackle Hugs Heather!!!!!!!!!!!*

Hi all

*hugs for those who want hugs*

*Hugs Oliver* How are you ?

hugs oliver and mark

*Hugs Louise*

*hugs all*

I'm worried that my brother won't pass his college course and won't get into uni. I hate feeling so connected to him. I have been like a Mum to him for most of his life and I worry about him so much.

*Hugs Crimson* How are you Hun?

*Hugs Lindsay* *Sends positive vibes for your brother* :)

Thanks, Mark. How are you?

*hugs Mark* Low-ish, trying to keep a happy face on but its just too tiring. It makes me wish A wasn't working up here with me because she keeps asking if I'm sure I'm ok,just tired, etc... it gets tiresome. But I also know I need the help up here right now since I'm still getting caught up and it goes much faster with 2 people so I'm just trying to manage.

How are you?

*hugs Lindsay*

*Hugs Crimson*

*Hugs Lindsay* I like your new avatar :)

*hugs all*
sorry I haven't been around in the last 2 days. I'm back at Ms place and helping with a summer camp. I'm busy all the time, so that's why I'm not doing individuals.

I started to take my new meds yesterday night and didn't purge it. I guess that's positive.
Yesterday afternoon I told a friend about what dad did and I'm triggered a lot since then. She knows that I SH and she keeps me busy so I can't. I wish she wouldn't do that but at the same time I'm grateful.

That's a great step forward Laura *Hugs* and It sounds like you have a wonderful friend :) *Hugs*

*Hugs Mark* How are you?

*Hugs Laura*

*Hugs Cimson*

*Hugs Lindsay*

*Hugs Louise*

*Hugs Oliver* How you doing mate?

*Hugs Heather*

*Hugs Tiff*

*hugs Ian, Mark, Louise, Lindsay, Crimson, Tiff, Heather, Laura*
*waves to Angel*

I'm doing okish thanks Ian, I've just been back to the gym after being off for a few weeks and it felt good to be back, but it was a very hard walk there was suicidal and kept wanting to walk in front of cars.
how are you Ian?

I'm sorry that you felt suicidal :( *hugs* im ok, bit poorly at the moment and feel a little lonely.

*hugs Ian and offers to sit with so he isnt lonely*

sorry your ill, hope you feel better soon.

*Huggles for all*

*hugs ward*

I wish I could be around more, I don't know why I'm not. I just can't ever seem to find the brain power.
I need to stop feeling like I fail at life.

I love you guys, and I'm seriously always just a PM away if any of you want/need me <3

*waves*

I was doing better as far as the memories after counseling.
Then husband had to call...now triggered really bad. Why would he call me just because he want sympathy because he in pain and I live with it 24/7? He calls me? We been separated for 11 months. I fled from him to another state for goodness sake. He knows I filing the divorce papers next month when I finally can. I not change # yet just because divorce not done. Gave in to urge once, still having really hard time...

*rocking*

*Hugs Ian*

*Hugs Oliver*

*Hugs Megz*

*Hugs Felicia* I Love You <3

*Hugs shattered1*

How is everyone this morning?

*hugs everyone*

I'm having to wait in for a delivery today, i'm getting bored.

How are you, Mark?

Ohhh I'm waiting for a Delivery too Lindsay :/ I'm , pretty much unable to sleep when I go to bed at night unless I drug myself and then unable to wake up in the morning ...

*Spots Felicia and Glomps*

*hugs everyone*

*Squishe Crimson* How are you hun?