Thanks Wildly Insane (sorry don't know your name :-) ). I'm just a bit scared. Anouk is really getting angry with me and I'm already fed up of all the well intentions and advice, even though I know I've made a total mess of everything. Urghhhh.

Dayna what's up? How's everyone doing?

*Hugs back* I don't even know what to say. Guess I'm a little in shock of how suddenly a friendship can be terminated. I said some horrible things this afternoon. I don't regret them, though, I feel they were justified. It's just... hard to believe things have ended this way

Know how you feel Banana. Just the other day my sister found an online journal of mine that had EVERYTHING in it. And she found it at school....with friends around... and I just hate that people know about it not just them but my dad and teachers and friends... grrrrrr But it will be ok..

I'm ok... kinda.. not really.. battling this stupid ED relapse thing..whatever the hell you wanna call it...

Dayna *cuddles* here to listen ;)

._. Fingers crossed my friend can stay online with me

Hannah, I'm Hannah too :) I know it's frustrating especially when you know they're only trying to help and they're not helping. I hope Anouk calms down.

sorry to hear you're stuggling again Katie.
I would hate that to happen to me, I think I'd really struggle if my family found out, I hope they never do.

*cuddles Dayna* hope your friend stays online too, friendships are tough and I think we need them more than we need any other type of relationship, so it's understandable that you're finding it hard, try not to dwell on it hun.

This friend online atm is actually a decent friend. Not the **** who randomly decided he wanted nowt to do with me.

I need someone to help me stay safe

I hope they stay online for you then.. always good to have them around :)

Yeah, I almost died when she told me! I quickly deleted it. And I feel :( about that just coz of everything it had in it. I was planning on saving it all to my computer, but I left it too long :( Oh well, maybe it was for the best. I made her promise she wouldn't tell anyone though! Oh and she just turned 14 yesterday too... which is when I started... SIing and EDing etc o.O

Dayna it's horrible when friendships end. I have been in an awful situation this year where my best friend (who I live with) decided he hates me, to be honest I think he was pissed that I wasn't breaking up with my bf if you see what I mean, and it's been a horrible place to live and really painful losing a good friend. But I've realised it's not my fault. Hope you realise that too *Hugs*

Katie I'd go insane if someone read my ranting thingy!! I just feel really exposed, I'm not used to all this *being open* thing. Just wanna escape from it all for a bit, it's too overwhelming. Sorry to hear about your ED relapse thingy. How are you feeling tonight?

Hannah thanks :-) My head feels so crowded. Too many other people in there and too many worries. Arghhh.

Thanks and thanks. You are a kind person.

Egh, she had to go. Figures.

Steel: You're very welcome, and thanks to you too

*curls up in window sill looking outside*

I am so tired of everything.

I epicly FAILED at festival today... *sigh* Oh well... just another failure of something I really care about in my life... I forgot half the words to my songs and I went so off key I almost wanted to just shoot my ears! It was so bad... I wanted to run off the stage and go cry in the bathroom...

And what's more? I have to do MORE tomorrow! Woopie! Just f**king shoot me now! I want to do so well in my musical theatre stuff... I just... seeing how today went... I don't see it happening...

I'm never going to be good enough...

I ate so much fatty food today, laden with grease and calories, and then I wonder why I'm fat. *eyeroll* I seriously can't stand to look at the scale every time I step on it, because I just know that I'm going to have gained weight since the last measurement, and I can't help but step on the scale every time I use the washroom...

I'm soooo close to cutting again, I can almost feel it on my skin... leaving phantom scars on my legs and arms...

Hell... if I fail tomorrow... I see no point in living anymore...

I'm such a f*cking failure.

*Hides*

*leaves teddies out for Banana and anyone else who wants to take one and crawls back into her window sill*

I have a damm sore throat, ugh hope this doesn't mean a cold? Guess what I get to spend today doing?? Downloading LOADS AND LOADS of CD's to my mum's computer. Joy to the world!!! My friend is supossed to be coming over actually, wonder if she slept through the thunderstorm, because I didn't.

Sorry I haven't been around much I had my surgical clinic appointment and managed to get a clinic date - although I don't know when it is yet. On the way home I had a car accident and ended up back at the hospital. I was pretty badly concussed but was released and just wanted to sleep. Today I had to get a blood test and luckily my landlady took me cause I had no idea how I was going to get there otherwise.

Now I have no car again and am going to have to catch buses everywhere that I can't ride to. I just hope that it will all work out.


*leaves hugs for everyone*

*leaves some hugs*

Hope everybody is ok there :-)

*drops by with some chocolate*

Hugs for all. Sorry I don't have more, will stop by later xxx

Sure wish this cold would go away.
Can't stop coughing >.<

Thanks Dayna.

My Mum is refusing to cook dinner. My Dad is going away right now on a business trip. I can't cook.

Tomorrow I am strongly considering to walk along the A3 (a motorway) until I get to bloody Portsmouth 84 miles away.

Is it illegal to walk on a motorway?

*hugs to everyoe*

Well the talks have done good me and my other half are back together
laugh is he plays cricket yet its me who has crickter's shoulder lol

had to laugh at that