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-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

misskitty112 11-01-2011 03:35 AM

*takes protective teddy*
I just think I'm one of those lost causes. Plus I have counseling tomorrow, where I'm probably gonna have to talk about painful things *sigh*

PsychoKitty2010 11-01-2011 03:46 AM

-sits with felicia- I think I'm a lost cause, too. So I can relate. I hope your counseling session goes ok and is not too painful. -hugs-

I have to see my counselor tomorrow as well, but it's not for a counseling appointment. I kind of wish it was, though. It's to see if she can give the financial aid office proof that she says I can start classes this semester. I am getting so tired of the financial aid office, it's ridiculous. Obviously if I was able to register (meaning they didn't put a hold on my registration because the counselor said I she wasn't going to require a registration hold) I am able to go back to school. But, they have to be difficult and require the documentation. I just hope I don't have a break down in the process. Today was the first day back in the counseling center in a month and I was freaking out pretty bad. Then again, I had to talk to a stranger. -sighs- I don't know what's wrong with me, but I'm sick of it.

One good thing happened today, though. I was able to get a pregnancy test scheduled for tomorrow at 3 in the afternoon. It was with a different clinic, but they offer a "sliding scale fee", which means if I do have to pay for it, it won't be that much, because we hardly have any income right now (it's based on your income). I am more calm than I was earlier, still low, but don't feel quite as urgey now. I have to be up really ****ing early though. Like 7:30 am early. It's only 6:45 pm here but just thinking about getting up that early is making me yawn. Lol.

misskitty112 11-01-2011 03:53 AM

*hugs Kitty* I don't think you're a lost cause.
I hope everything goes okay with your counseling tomorrow. I had to get similar documentation when I got kicked off campus in 2008, and tried to get campus housing and financial aid the following semester, so I feel your pain. *hugs*

PsychoKitty2010 11-01-2011 04:03 AM

-hugs felicia- Thanks. I don't think you are a lost cause, either. -smiles-
It's frustrating, isn't it? I need my financial aid to live off of being that we use it to pay the majority of our bills. I tried explaining that to them, but they don't care. And they tell me there is still a chance I can be denied. -sighs- I'm having bad anxiety problems about it, really. Today was the first day of classes and if my tuition isn't paid by Friday they will withdraw me from all of my classes. I just hope they approve me. And I don't know when they are going to make a decision, either. I'm hoping my counselor can get the documentation to them tomorrow morning and that they will know (and HOPEFULLY approve) by the end of the day. We really need money. We have rent to pay, phone bill to pay, our tire bill to pay, and we are rapidly running out of things around the house. Like, we have one roll of toilet paper left. And I am almost out of shampoo and conditioner. And the cat is going to go starving soon. See...these are the reasons I am so anxious about whether I get my financial aid or not. It's not just because of classes. I could care less if I go to classes. We need it to survive and have a roof over our heads and be clean and and and...ugh!

misskitty112 11-01-2011 04:22 AM

I hope it all works out for you. <3

PsychoKitty2010 11-01-2011 04:38 AM

Thanks -hugs- me too.

Kahlia1981 11-01-2011 08:54 AM

*huggles all*

I got the results of my CT scan today .... I have some protruding and bulging discs in my lower back and some early signs of serious problems. My brother summed it up as "it sucks to be you". It's likely going to require surgery down the track which will need to be done by a neurosurgeon because my spinal canal is narrowing and my spinal cord is getting "squeezed" by both the cord and the degredation of my spine. Yay.

On one hand at least there is a reason for my pain. On the other hand it's only going to get worse and there isn't much they can do. The best thing my brother could say (he's an ICU nurse who ended up having to explain it to me in terms I could really understand) is that at the level the degradation and protrusions have/are occurring I most likely will still be able to walk.

Now I feel *so* much better ....

Disturbia 11-01-2011 10:22 AM

Morning * waves* hows everyone ?
I think i got a throat infection ..i can hardly speak at the moment.

Kahlia1981 11-01-2011 11:19 AM

so overwhelmed right now ............

Doikers 11-01-2011 11:52 AM

*Hugs Crimson*
*Hugs Helen*
*hugs Shannon*
*Hugs Sarah*
*Hugs Kahlia*Oh I'm sorry to here your news hun, I hope it gets sorted out for you /
*Hugs Kitty* Good Luck with your pregnancy test hun .
*Hugs Ian*
*Hugs Felicia*
*Waves to Disturbia* Hi I'm Mark :)

MammaMia 11-01-2011 12:25 PM

*hugs everyone*

Had a really **** night's sleep. Slept 3am-6.55am :(

Plus feeling sick started again badly last night and hasn't gone away :/ Mehhh!

Doikers 11-01-2011 12:39 PM

Awh Helen *Hugs* I'm sorry you had a bad night and are feeling unwell :(

one_step_closer 11-01-2011 01:32 PM

*hugs everyone*

MammaMia 11-01-2011 05:20 PM

*hugs Mark* Meh :( Feeling better at the moment.
*hugs Lindsay* How you doing?

My best friend finally opened her Christmas presents from me today xD She loved them yay ^_^ Really glad she liked my home-made one, took a lot of hard wor and stuff to do it lol.

one_step_closer 11-01-2011 05:24 PM

Helen, i'm glad you're feeling better.

I'm not too bad, just waiting for the darkness to bring misery and loneliness as it always does.

Doikers 11-01-2011 05:26 PM

*Hugs Lindsay* *Lights a fire to keep the dark away for you*

one_step_closer 11-01-2011 05:37 PM

Thank you, Mark. :)

I'm just so scared that another day is always around the corner and that maybe i'm ok-ish now but it definitely won't last. I'm sick of fighting to stay alive when it's the last thing that I want to do.

FlyingNy 11-01-2011 05:41 PM

*Give Lindey a magic light up wand* it's voice activated. Just say 'lumos' and it will light up :)

*Hugs Mark* How are you this evening/afternoon.

*Hugs Kahlia* I'm sorry about your back :( I hope it can be fixed, and you can get something to control the pain.

*Hugs Kitty and Felicia* I don't think either of you are lost causes. And good luck with the pregnancy test and session.

*Hugs Disturbia* Hey, I'm Lia :)

*Hugs Helen* It sucks to be ill :( I have a cold, it's not too bad but I have an AS exam tomorrow, so sucks slightly. Oh well, never mind. I hope you can sleep better tonight :)

*Hugs anyone else lurking*

Doikers 11-01-2011 05:47 PM

*Hugs Lia*I'm conflicted , torn , My mind is playing mean games with me :S

*Hugs Lindsay* I know the feeling of "I feel okay today but might feel crap tomorrow"

FlyingNy 11-01-2011 05:55 PM

*Hugs Mark* I know the feeling. My mind does that. It tells me things about myself, things I know but don't want to hear. It makes me think of bad stuff, and what might happen, what might have already happened. I wish it'd just pipe down sometimes.

*Hugs Lindsey* There's always something to hang on for.

MammaMia 11-01-2011 05:57 PM

*hides & cries eyes iuy*

misskitty112 11-01-2011 05:59 PM

*hugs ward*

Lalalala... counseling today. Birthday tomorrow. :/

MammaMia 11-01-2011 06:07 PM

*hiuys Felicia*

Doikers 11-01-2011 06:07 PM

*Hugs Helen* Whats up hun?

MammaMia 11-01-2011 06:12 PM

My best friend may have to cancel me visiting and/or her coming to my 21st. ****ing great. JUST ****ING GREAT :'( I've been so looking forward to both & been helping me going. Hopefully it'll work out and I'll have wasted tears. Beginning to feel like she can't have any fun being moaned at. ARGHHHHH >_> **** this.

FlyingNy 11-01-2011 06:19 PM

*Hugs Helen* I hope it all works out for you. You never know, like you said, you may have wasted your tears :)

MammaMia 11-01-2011 06:20 PM

Really hope so :( She made me a promise not to cancel. I couldn't bear it if either got cancelled, let alone both. I know I'm probably seem like I'm over-reacting :'(

Doikers 11-01-2011 06:25 PM

*Hugs Helen* I hope you can meet up with your bestie hun :)

FlyingNy 11-01-2011 06:31 PM

I don't think you are Helen. I know how it is to be let down, especially when they promised not to. It makes you feel as if you're not really worth it, like they don't care about you, as if they wouldn't miss you. I probably over react, but I'm insecure like that.

SoMuchMore 11-01-2011 06:32 PM

*hugs kahlia* im so sorry to hear about your back. I hope they can do something to help. Always here if you need to talk.

*hugs helen* i hope she doesn't cancel on you. It doesn't seem like you are overreacting hun. Its really upsetting when you think you won't be able to see someone you love.

*hugs mark* I'm sorry your mind was/is being mean to you today. Its pretty awful when your mind won't be quiet about things.

*hugs lia* how's you today?

*hugs lindsay* it will be worth it to stick around. maybe try not to think so much in the future but enjoy how you are feeling in the moment? That might sound like silly advice, but it works for me sometimes.

*hugs felicia* hope counseling goes well. Happy early birthday, why the :-/ face afterward?

Its snowing so much here.. i'm supposed to drive back to uni but i'm not so sure about the roads.. i really need to leave :-(

Doikers 11-01-2011 06:35 PM

*Hugs Laura* How are you ? Drive safely hun :)

FlyingNy 11-01-2011 07:29 PM

*Hugs Laura* I'll swap. I could do with a freak snow storm in the night if it means I don't have to take this exam. I know the stuff, but my head's all over the place and it seems to be all I can do not to start yelling at the paper mid test, let alone pass it.

Doikers 11-01-2011 07:32 PM

Oh My Days! A teacher in Wales has been sacked for taking his class sledging of all things! Health and safety gone overboard? I think so. Sorry I just saw the headline.

SparkleKitten 11-01-2011 07:33 PM

*cuddles Ward* I feel funny today, told my fiance all about how my inner voice keeps telling me all the things that could go wrong like car crashes or food poisoning or falling on ice or breaking bones and things like that whenever I do something... Its like my voice that reads all my thoughts out to me and reads text to me but I don't control it. I just thought it was normal worry but apparently not. :(

How are you all?

Doikers 11-01-2011 07:41 PM

*Hugs Sarah* I think like that too (Although I don't hear a voice) But its like if there is no music I get my thoughts read out , I'm sorry you are enduring the same thing :S

MammaMia 11-01-2011 07:56 PM


Originally Posted by Doikers (Post 2651409)
*Hugs Helen* I hope you can meet up with your bestie hun :)


Originally Posted by IceQueenHasAHeart (Post 2651424)
I don't think you are Helen. I know how it is to be let down, especially when they promised not to. It makes you feel as if you're not really worth it, like they don't care about you, as if they wouldn't miss you. I probably over react, but I'm insecure like that.


Originally Posted by Fallinstar0317 (Post 2651425)
*hugs helen* i hope she doesn't cancel on you. It doesn't seem like you are overreacting hun. Its really upsetting when you think you won't be able to see someone you love.

*hugs all three of you* I've been chatting to my best friend. I really think neither are going to happen :'( Or at the least, I don't think she'll be coming to my 21st. Depends if things improve enough in time for them. I'm just offering my support to her as always because I care more about her than anything else in my world. More than my ****ing self. I'll get over the pain of it not happening, if it doesn't.....

Lia - I don't think I'm worth it. However I can thankfully say, my best friend hasn't made me feel like that tonight. I know she cares about me so so so so much, even when I'm on a real low about myself. Well I still say sometimes that she doesn't. But deep down, she's the only person I'll always believes cares about me. That & my family? I know that she would miss me if I were to stop being best friends or to kill myself. She's drilled that one into me and all.

Gosh I need to stop crying don't I? Nothing's decided right now. Other than she just needs time & patience. Neither of us are very good at being patient for things to improve.

PsychoKitty2010 11-01-2011 07:57 PM

Wow today sucks. Woke up really ****ing early (no joke...like 7:00 am early...I was up before the sun...in my world, that is NOT normal!). Went to school by 8:30 to have an appointment with my counselor about getting paperwork for financial aid. Had to go to financial aid. Then I was told that the paperwork I got from the counselor would do, but I would have to wait another couple of weeks for a decision to be made. Which totally contradicts what someone in the office told me last week about it being reviewed yesterday or today. I freaked out. I was like "What the **** am I supposed to do about my classes? And books? And rent? And my bills?" The chick was all like "Oh well you can take out an emergency loan through us but you have to have a co signer." I was like "I don't have a co signer." She was like "No parent, good friend . . .?" I was like "I just said, I DON'T HAVE A ****ING CO SIGNER!" So then she referred me to the office of the dean of students. So I go there and they were able to get me a loan (without a co signer), but it was only for $500. That's enough to pay our rent and our minimum payment on our phone bill, and maybe a book? I don't know. We had to put gas in our car, too. So I'm still wondering how I am going to get through 2 weeks without books. I'm so pissed off right now. That is my money that I was awarded and they are sitting on it. The financial aid chick said "Well the lady that is processing them has a lot to do so it will take her a couple of weeks." What the ****. Ugh!!!

-hugs everyone- How is everyone today?

MammaMia 11-01-2011 08:03 PM

*hugs Kitty*

Sorry, I'm crying too much to try write a useful response.

FlyingNy 11-01-2011 08:07 PM

*Hugs Kitty, Helen and Mark*

PsychoKitty2010 11-01-2011 08:11 PM

-hugs helen and offers her tissues and teddys-

-hugs lia- how you be?

Doikers 11-01-2011 08:12 PM

*Hugs Helen* Could you work on your Birthday playlist to take your mind off things , I remember you were quite excited about it last year.

*Hugs Kitty* I reallyreally hope this gets sorted out for you , and soon .

*Hugs Lia* I may have missed a post buty how are you?

SparkleKitten 11-01-2011 08:24 PM

We saw an advert for art therapy today, has anyone in the ward tried it? I can't find any more information on it and I don't want to make a gp appointment just to ask about it because I feel like I'm wasting time but there's so little information about it on the net. I know I'd need to see a doctor for a refferal but I don't want to waste time if it'd be useless or if there's none in the area :/

Doikers 11-01-2011 08:24 PM

I need to get married , How the hell am I supposed to with all my scars? The one woman I'm interested in I swear wants only to be a friend so it's like hey "general chatter" now I'll take off my jacket and freak you out ****! sorry

MammaMia 11-01-2011 08:26 PM


Originally Posted by IceQueenHasAHeart (Post 2651576)
*Hugs Kitty, Helen and Mark*

*hugs Lia* How are you & stop avoiding the question ;)


Originally Posted by PsychoKitty2010 (Post 2651582)
-hugs helen and offers her tissues and teddys-

Thanks Kitty -hugs back and takes tissues & teddy*


Originally Posted by Doikers (Post 2651583)
*Hugs Helen* Could you work on your Birthday playlist to take your mind off things , I remember you were quite excited about it last year.

*hugs Mark* Thanks for suggestion, would probably cry if I did. But it's been updated recently. I was very excited, still am, just not right this minute lol..

Doikers 11-01-2011 08:26 PM

Sarah , Could you ask a social worker? I used to do pottery with the local mental health folk so I know it's available in some places , I hope you can get your info . My class was run by the local MIND association , do you have one?

PsychoKitty2010 11-01-2011 08:28 PM

-hugs mark- Thanks. I do, too. I feel like these people are giving me a run around. How you be today?

-hugs sarah- I haven't ever heard of it. I have heard the saying "art can be therapeutic", but never actually heard about art therapy. Sorry I can't be of more help, hun.

PoisonedApple 11-01-2011 08:47 PM


I need to get married , How the hell am I supposed to with all my scars? The one woman I'm interested in I swear wants only to be a friend so it's like hey "general chatter" now I'll take off my jacket and freak you out ****! sorry
Mark, there is no set time frame for getting married and not every one will freak out. If someone does freak out and can't get past it and love you for who you are then they aren't a person you should be marrying anyway. And have you asked her how she feels? Maybe ask her out on a date and see how it goes? The worst case scenario for asking her on a date is that she'll say she only wants to be friends (which is what you think now so no loss) but the best case scenario is she'll accept and you will have a relationship building. :)

Doikers 11-01-2011 08:55 PM

Crimson, thankyou but you have no idea how much I love her , I met her in the Psych ward so we were thrown together in huge conflict and we bonded . I would do all sorts of stupid love based stuff for her , would I kill myself for her? , I don't know but I would give it serious consideration.

Crimson can I PM you?

nicole94 11-01-2011 08:57 PM

*Curls up*

PoisonedApple 11-01-2011 08:59 PM

Of course you can, Mark. *hugs*

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