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Auburn Shadow 14-03-2009 09:49 AM

*hugs to everyone*

Sorry I haven't been around much recently, have had a very limited internet access. It's been one hell of a busy few weeks, I'll explain the whole story a little later. Just wanted to leave hugs and let you all know I'm thinking of you even if I can't get on here.

Jetforce 14-03-2009 11:14 AM

It's ok hana :-)

we understand...tc of urself tho!!!!!

MammaMia 14-03-2009 11:22 AM

Love you all *snuggles*

Mary Anne 14-03-2009 08:38 PM

*hugs everyone*

A bit better today


Eclectica 14-03-2009 09:07 PM

You stupid whore. ****ing whore. Whore whore whore. Blah blah blah blah blah.

Mary Anne 14-03-2009 09:09 PM

*hugs Kat*

I don't think you are

MammaMia 14-03-2009 09:17 PM

:( Why did he lie? Why is it affecting me so badly?

zowie 14-03-2009 09:36 PM

*Hugs Secrets* Welcome back hun. Stay as long as you need :) Oh, and you're definately not rubbish!

Kahlia...I know how you feel. I usually really just want to check out until all the crap goes away. The best thing to do is to keep reminding yourself that, as you say, you will find a reason and it will feel easier. *Hugs*

Hannah, what's up? Thank you for the hugs *hugs back*

I'm happy you have the internet back too Katie :) But not happy that you're feeling **** :( Wanna talk about it? xx

Dayna - *hugs* I don't know what the situation with your sister is, but I'm sorry you can't see her.

Hana - Hello *waves* Nice to see you again. Hope you're doing okay.

Glad to hear you're feeling better Mary Anne :) *Hugs*

*Hugs Kat* Hun, you're not. No. Don't ever believe that.

Helen, I love you too <3 and I hate it when people lie to me. It really upsets me.


I'm doing okay. Ate way too much today which sucked, but I saw my baby cousins for a naming ceremony and read the blessing. It was nice :)

Speaking of eating way too much, I've got some beer and chips waiting for me.
Fatty :(


*Takes a veeeeery deep breath*
Love and hugs to all xxxx

Mary Anne 14-03-2009 09:39 PM

*hugs Zowie* I have a creme egg calling to me! I had to hide it in the wardrobe to stop myself from eating it!

*hugs Helen* being lied to is really horrible


Jetforce 15-03-2009 07:32 AM

*squishes ppl who have checked themselves in the ward*

*leaves some cordial for ppl to drink*

Auburn Shadow 15-03-2009 09:38 AM

*hugs everyone*

*hugs Hells* I'm not getting involved between you two, because I love you both, but yeah, being lied to can really suck sometimes. I don't know what happened but take it with a pinch of salt and the fact that he was drunk. If he'd been sober, then he probably would have told you differently. Love you sweetheart x

*hugs mary anne* glad you're feeling a bit better. x

*hugs Kat* You're not a whore hun, no way. Don't believe it. x

*hugs zowie* Glad you're doing ok hun, and I'm glad you had a good time at the naming ceremony.

*hugs Jem* hope you're doing ok over there


Well, ok, the last couple of weeks have been pretty damned hectic. Ever since I got back from the skiing trip with my parents. In fact, it would be easier to say that the whole of March has been pretty hectic. Well, anyways, got back to Wycombe on 1st March, and ok, that was pretty cool. In fact, it was OK, until the 3rd March, when I found out that my cousin's son's in hospital with kidney problems and that.

That would have been enough for me to have to deal with, but a few friends of mine had a few problems that they decided I had to know (and therefore worry) about. That Friday night, I broke up with the boyfriend, and, well, that's a story for another time. Saturday, he kicked me out, even though on the Friday he'd said I could stay there (on the sofa but I was OK with that) until I found another place to live. So Saturday I stayed at a friend's house, and then Sunday, we spent the day trying to get me somewhere to live temporarily, and we found it in one of the people she babysits for, who basically said I can stay there for as long as I need.

OK, written down like that, it doesn't seem like such a big deal, but, for one that's not everything but the rest of it I don't particularly want to put the rest up on the internet for everyone to see. But, I think this is actually a pivotal point to my recovery, in that I'm still just over 2 months free, and, I'm dealing with this by talking, not bottling it up.

You know the one funny part though? During the whole of this, I haven't seen my counsellors once.

Anyways, sorry for the massive post. Don't have internet at my place at the moment, so I won't be around as much as I'd like to be, but I miss you all when I'm not online, and I just want you to know I'm thinking and praying for all of you.


Jetforce 15-03-2009 10:30 AM

*cuddles hana*

Stay safe there xxx

Hope ur look after urself and u need to get the NET lol..somehow!!! Coz we r missing u already :-(

Kahlia1981 15-03-2009 10:41 AM

*hugs all and then disappears into the denial tent for a few decades*

Jetforce 15-03-2009 10:49 AM

hope ur ok there Kahlia *cuddles*

Kahlia1981 15-03-2009 10:53 AM

Must admit I'm not feeling too great Jem .... thinking of going out for some cola, drinking some alcohol and doing something really stupid.

Think I'll just check myself into the denial tent until the urge passes a bit.

Jetforce 15-03-2009 10:54 AM

hang in there!!! Plz don't do anything stupid...i know the urge is there but u can battle thru it!!!

MammaMia 15-03-2009 03:08 PM

Hana, you have a very fair point hun :) I'm over it now anyway pretty much. Just was a little hard yesterday. But we're all good. I worry about you hun *snuggles* xx

Eclectica 15-03-2009 04:27 PM

Stupid dirty stinking whore... I know I am.

Mary Anne 15-03-2009 06:58 PM

*hugs Kat* I will never think that you are

*hugs Hana* take care of yourself, sounds like you have a lot going on.

*hugs Kahlia* please try not to do anything

*hugs Helen* glad to hear you are feeling a bit better about things

*hugs Jet* how are you doing?

*hugs Secrets, Ravyn, Dayna, Zowie and anyone else coming in later*

For me good bits and bad bits, will get the bad bits out first, HE came over to pick up some stuff and once again changed his story about HER, seems he does not know how to tell the truth. Also he is moving to a flat nearish me, do not like that - I would prefer if he disappeared!
On a good note - no idea if I am ready but a guy has sort of asked me out - we were emailing and now texting - bit scared, esp as he knows nothing about the dep. and si - not something to tell someone about electronically for me, will see how it goes.

love you all

wildly insane 15-03-2009 09:56 PM

I want to hurt, not to cope, not for relief, not to stay in control but because I hate myself, I deserve to hurt and hurt and hurt.

*hugs secrets* hope things are going okay
*hugs snuffles* welcome back, take care of yourself
*hugs Dayna* are you okay?
*hugs Kahlia* hope the urges pass, cuddles.
*hugs Hana* sounds like a rough few days and sounds like you've coped really well, hope you're feeling that too.
*hugs Jem* hope you are okay
*hugs Helen* Are you feeling any better?
*hugs MaryAnne* hope you had a good weekend
*hugs Kat* you're not hun, keep fighting
*hugs Arwen* I seem to be falling and I don't don't know where my fight has gone. Please don't beat yourself up about food, it is so not worth it, but I know what you mean.
*hugs Jade* hope you are doing okay
*hugs anyone else wanting or able to accept a hug*
take care of yourselves and try to remember there is always hope whether or not we can see it *leaves bunches of daffodils to brighten the place up*

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