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-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

SparkleKitten 16-10-2010 12:22 AM

I'm afraid to sleep, I don't want to go back into the world of dreams. Its scary inside my hed. I feel like I'm losing it, and I don't know whats wrong. Dreams and reality and imagination are all blurring into one and I'm honestly not sure of whats happening... I finally told my fiance I'd been checking in here, he didn't seem shocked or concerned or anything by how bad I've been, almost like he already knew. Ah I'm rambling, I think I'll try to sleep
*cuddles all*

Doikers 16-10-2010 10:12 AM

*Hugs Sarah*

*Hugs Nicole*

*Hugs Felicia*

*Hugs Kahlia*

*Hugs Louise*

*Hugs Lindsay*

Up early , My sister is coming to my town so it will be nice to hang out with her for a bit this morning :)

one_step_closer 16-10-2010 02:14 PM

Hope you have a good time, Mark.

Louise 16-10-2010 02:14 PM

*hugs everyone*

I hope you have nice time with your sister Mark.

nicole94 16-10-2010 02:18 PM

*hugs everyone*

shadowedsoul 16-10-2010 03:34 PM

cuddles all, im really freaking out right now. **** ****

Doikers 16-10-2010 03:51 PM

*Hugs Jill* Whats the matter hun?

Thanks everyone , My sister stayed for lucnh and I made egg rolls and before that we walked around Morrisons and town :) and then back at my flat my neice who is 9 months promptly pulled out all my DVD's and magazines heh :)

one_step_closer 16-10-2010 04:13 PM

*hugs Jill* We are here for you.

Glad you had a nice time, Mark.

shadowedsoul 16-10-2010 05:45 PM

curls up and hides. haha nice to see my work acutaly cares about me, not hahahahaha =[

Doikers 16-10-2010 07:20 PM

*Hugs Jill* Do you want to talk?

nicole94 16-10-2010 07:48 PM

*huggles everyone.* the ward is very quiet today :/

Doikers 16-10-2010 07:51 PM

*Hugs Nicole* Hey :) How are you tonight?

nicole94 16-10-2010 08:01 PM

*hugs mark, i'm ok, annoyed cause my mum promised she wouldnt drink all week and she's just come home stinking of alcohol :( how're you?

Doikers 16-10-2010 08:11 PM

Oh thats sucks Nicole :( I'm feeling odd , I had to crawl up in bed for 2 hours this afternoon and I'm a touch triggered , I going to have a bath in 20 minutes when it's ran in the hope that it will clean me and improve my headspace hmmm

nicole94 16-10-2010 08:16 PM

i know :( and now shes having a go at me to clean the kitchen! i hate her sometimes. aaw mark, sorry your feeling so triggerd, having a bath is a good idea, it usually calms me down. x

FlyingNy 16-10-2010 08:36 PM

*Hugs Nicole* I know the feeling, she's my mum and it makes me feel guilty, but I sometimes hate her too. I used to love her. I was a right mummy's girl. Huh. I wonder what went wrong. Hope you're Ok.

*Hugs Mark* Glad you had a nice time with your sister, it sucks that you're triggered now. I hate it when I end up in bad mood at the end of a good day, it feels as if the entire day is ruined.

*Hugs Jill* How are you feeling now? Do you want to talk? I'm here for you if you do.

Doikers 16-10-2010 08:41 PM

Hey Lia :) How are you tonight?

Hehe I got bath water up my nose , to shower would be simpler but they remind me of the pysch hospital hmmmmmm

nicole94 16-10-2010 08:43 PM

*hugs lia* yeah, i know, me and my mum used to be so close! now i wish she wasnt my mum, and i feel guilty for feeling like that :( aswell as my dad, none of us talk to him and we've just found out his girlfriend is gonna split up with him, i feel bad cause he's gonna be all on his own but then it's his fault :( how're you?

risenfromperdition 16-10-2010 08:43 PM

hey people :)

nicole94 16-10-2010 08:45 PM

lol mark, must've been typing at the same time! i know, i had a bath earlier and i think i must've swallowed half of it! didnt taste too good, especially as it was a bubble bath :/

Doikers 16-10-2010 08:47 PM

*Hugs Heather* Hows things?

lol Nicole , baths are tricky :P

nicole94 16-10-2010 08:50 PM

*hugs heather* everyone has come online at once :/
mark-i know, but i still seem to spend like 3-4 hours a day in mine XD

RYUU 16-10-2010 09:16 PM

The devil is telling me to cut am listening to music to drown him out but it isn't helping

Doikers 16-10-2010 09:27 PM

*Hugs Ryuu* Hmmm could you mabe put the music on headphones so it's all you can hear?

FlyingNy 16-10-2010 09:41 PM

Hey all. Wow, we are moving much faster now. I only went away to watch Merlin.

I'm alright. Kinda. I think I upset my friend, and she's mad but she's pretending she's not and I feel guilty but I don't at the same time because she's made me worry so much in the past and...well it's complicated so I'll just shush now :)

shadowedsoul 16-10-2010 10:06 PM

hugs everybody.
erm okay i been singed off work, and now on antidepressant. im feeling really down and pissed off, my dad went in to give me sick note, and they didnt ask one how i was, not that i was expecting it. they are a bunch of assholes , that couldnt care less on of there staff members is feeling like this or might have done worse if i didnt take this step,to atlest get some breathing space, im not faking this im depressed. two days back i woke up wanting to end my life, ended up crying at the coffee table and not being able to stop. this hasnt happened once, other times i have being going to work, and feeling like i wanted to end it.
im also freaking out because i have to go back at some point, im signed off for 2 weeks, i got my last final warning,and i get the funny feeling they will make my life a living hell, because i was off. this might have added more fuel to the fire. **** =[. sorry this is so long.

FlyingNy 16-10-2010 10:12 PM

*Hugs Jill* Would it be possible to change jobs? I'm sorry they seem like such uncaring people, but you have us and we care. I hope the anti-depressants do something for you and help you to feel better. I'm glad you finally have some help.

Doikers 16-10-2010 10:15 PM

*Hugs Jill* I hope the anti-depressants work for you , I've been on them a while myself , I agree with Lia , could find a job where people are, well nicer? No-one here thinks you are faking anything , It's HORRIBLE to have depression but you can beat it *Extra Hug for Jill*

Louise 16-10-2010 10:25 PM

hugs everyone

shadowedsoul 16-10-2010 10:36 PM

thanks both lia and mark, yeah im trying at the sec, made harder by the fact im signed off work. hmmm mark a question, being taking anti-dpressants, i normally have thought running through my head, but last night it felt like they were alot louder, is that normal? or is that just me think they are.if that makes sence.

FlyingNy 16-10-2010 11:31 PM

*Walks into ward and begins to beat the **** out of the nearest hard object to hand.*

shadowedsoul 16-10-2010 11:59 PM

hugs lia tightly, so she cant cont to beat the **** out of stuff. what up girly? whats got you so angery?

FlyingNy 17-10-2010 12:42 AM

Thanks Jill, I've just calmed down now. I just got thinking about why she had to leave me. Why she never cared and just walked away as if I were nothing to her when she means so much to me.

FlyingNy 17-10-2010 01:22 AM

I give up. I ****ing give up.

shadowedsoul 17-10-2010 01:26 AM

your welcome girly. dont give up okay, i keep fighting if you keep fighting, deal? i love you girl <3

Doikers 17-10-2010 01:12 PM

Jill ,Being on anti depresants can cause all sorts of weird side effects , depending on a) the particular type of meds and b) the person , if they are causing you any trouble you sould tell your Dr and maybe they would change them , There are MANY MANY type of anti depressants out there it sometimes take a bit of trial and error to get the right one for you , I hope that doesn't freak you out , sorry , try and read the little leaflet that came with the pills and look up side effects , sometimes side effects will go away after a little while :)

Doikers 17-10-2010 01:17 PM

*Hugs Jill*

*Hugs Lia*

*Hugs Louise*

I didn't pull myself out of bed until gone 12pm :S It was such an effort , No energy, No motivation ugh....

one_step_closer 17-10-2010 01:30 PM

*hugs everyone*

Doikers 17-10-2010 01:41 PM

*Hugs Lindsay* Hey :) How are you ?

RYUU 17-10-2010 02:32 PM

The devil wants me to die i want to die too

Doikers 17-10-2010 02:45 PM

Oh Ryuu *Hugs* Keep fighting , you have gotten through this before and you can get through it again , post here on the ward and we will all do our best to help

shadowedsoul 17-10-2010 04:22 PM

cuddles all. thanks mark you didnt freak me out. whatever it was a couple days back,was just a one off. shrug shoulders. as i got a not bad sleep last night. thinking mabye my mum was right and it was the crap of the day going around my head. curls up and hides

one_step_closer 17-10-2010 05:17 PM

I'm ok, distracting myself with tumblr at the moment. How are you, Mark?

RYUU, what makes you want to die? Are there things in your life that you can change for the better?

*hugs Jill*

misskitty112 17-10-2010 05:26 PM

I just woke up and it's 11:26 AM.
Time to be productive, I suppose.
On the bright side, Homecoming is overrrr! =)

Doikers 17-10-2010 05:36 PM

Whats tumblr Lindsay?

I'm just low .......not suicidally so as I was before my meds were incresed but just .......flat I guess is a good way to describe it was in bed but didn't nap, want to sleep.

*Hugs Felicia* you must have been TIRED :) sleep is good

SparkleKitten 17-10-2010 06:28 PM

*cuddles wardies*

How are you all today? I had my comic convention yesterday which was amazing but now I'm feeling low and meh and terrible and all sorts of other things. My mind is screwing with me so much, I'm terrified of having nightmares again, theres a girl who my mind has made up who appears in my dreams to protect me but tis still scary. I mean she's lovely, but it still makes me uneasy. I hope these are side effects of the meds.

Doikers 17-10-2010 06:35 PM

*Hugs Sarah* I understand how that could make you uneasy , I hope you have GOOD dreams tonight :)

one_step_closer 17-10-2010 06:54 PM

Mark, tumblr is kind of like a blog thing. You can post images, videos, quotes, and other stuff. I like to look at other peoples blogs.

*hugs Sarah*

shadowedsoul 17-10-2010 06:59 PM

curls up, stuiped thoughts going around my head, wish they would go away

RYUU 17-10-2010 07:16 PM

I cant take the pain any more the voices never seem to go away
the only thing that stops me is my husband

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