Yeah my gf left me on Wednesday told me she doesn't love me I lost my job n I lost her family which were my family... N now I'm so alone 3 hrs together n now all of a sudden I mean nothing to her... It's killing me solo bad

I'm so sorry to hear that Wasteofspace *Hugs if Okay*

Ccuddles all, argh!!! Damn I'm so triggered and pissed off.

Oh *Hugs Jill* Whats the matter?

I don't want to do anything today. I'm sick of being alive.

*hugs everyone* *waves at WasteOfSpace and anyone else who is new*

Hey Mark! *gently glomps* I'm ... surviving. I've come down with a cold on top of everything else. Just a case of a) it never rains but it pours and b) Murphy's Law (everything that can go wrong will go wrong at the worst possible moment) taking effect. My arm isn't much chop to be honest. It's really not good. My tests are all done. Now I just have to go and see the GP to get the results back. o_o Really not looking forward to that. How are you doing?

I'm Feeling really low today Kahlia tbh , I hope you get good test results from your GP when you go , I know the feeling of not wanting to go to the Drs :S , Sorry about your arm *Hugs arm gently* *Offers a Lemsip for your cold*Darn Murphys Law!!

*Hugs Lindsay*I know the feeling , Not that that helps you but just know you're not alone :)

Has anyone heard from April the last few days? I've not had a reply from my e-mail ,No Livejournal updates and she's not been around here that I recall *Concerned*

Argh!!!! Bollicks I sodding give up just want to do somthing dangerous. Screw everthing.

Just had a meeting with my Nurse , Sharon, Who is wonderful , We talked about how I'm feeling low about turning 30 and How I'm having a bad day and I got all tearful slightly hmm , I told her that I was worried about the 9th of November , 2 days after my birthday as when I was suicidal that is the day I set for myself to commit suicide , in a very specific way and I am no longer pro-activly suicdal (Touch wood) but I still get the thoughts and I don't know how I'm going to cope with it all over the 7th , 8th ,9th November so she said she will meet me on the 8th and the 9th which is SO good of her .

*Hugs Jill* Do you want to talk ?

*Hugs Mark* I hope those days go OK for you, as well as Sharon, you also have us, don't forget that. And you're not a failure. No one's perfect, not even perfect people because they fail at failing :) Does that make sense?

*Hugs Jill* Don't give up please. Is there anything you want to talk about?

*Hugs wasteofspace* Is there anything you would rather be called? i know it's not up to me, but I don't feel eniterly comfortable calling you that because you're not a waste of space and I don't want to reinforce those feelings every time I speak to you. I'm sorry about your girlfriend. I had my heart broken a few months ago, and it does get easier. It doesn't stop hurting, but the pain gets easier to deal and live with. Promise.

*Hugs Kahlia* Good luck with the results, I hope everything is OK.

*Hugs Laura* I love Christmas music :) And I'm glad someone knows where I'm coming from, I was starting to feel like a bit of a cow. I hope you're alright.

Hey Amy :) How are you?

*Hugs Lindsey* Are you feeling any better now? I do hope you're Ok. I know it doesn't always feel like it, but there are moments in life that make it worth living.

Update on moi, I am doing alright today. I am reading 'Wuthering Heights' for my English class, and I actually love it. Plus, I was off lessons all afternoon and used that time to do a whole load of English homework so now I have 'Wuthering Heights' on the brain, so sorry if I start talking like a **** at any point. This week should be a pretty good week, oh, and freaking out year 7s with 'rave dancing' is fun.

Two 'mature' year 12 students, waving their arms around and 'wooo'ing at some poor kids probably was pretty terrifying. Especially as one of them was Dan. Lol, good times.

^^
Woo, hench reply!

Thankyou Lia , That was truly epic post , sorry I'm pretty drained at the moment from getting things out, Oh and you made sense yep :)

mark, you are NOT a failure, the fact that you're still fighting all this means you arent. along with you being awesoem :P <3

*Hugs Heather* Thankyou, You're pretty awesome too :P

just feel so numb, and stressed out. really want to end it all struggling not to.its crazy tho its one bad habbit after another right now, its not helping that im so addicted to this habbit now. meh

Please please try not to do anything bad Jill I'm here for a couple of hours if you need someone to talk to , What bad habit do you feel addicted to now Jill ?

Jill, I think you need to get some professional help. We can only do so much and feeling so unsafe all the time and doing bad things (and then telling us) is not good for anyone, especially not for you. So please try get some help?

Mark, well done for opening up :)

*hugs ward*

I got home nearly an hour ago. Am exhausted emotionally and physically. I cried most of Saturday night, parts of yesterday, most of last night and nearly every single minute of today and actually sobbing whilst writing this.

I want my best friend in my arms, where I belong in hers. I can't handle this :'( So not in the mood to return to college. Can't even settle into my usual routinue because one, my ex best friend being out of contact (since me and my bestie are no longer speaking to her) is something I'm needing to get used to and am slowly. Plus I'm going away again on Friday. I just feel so out of everything. I want my best friend. That's all I want. I don't want to live just over 3 hours away....Really struggling with it all. Badly want to cut arrrgh :'(

*Hugs Helen* Please do try not to cut, I know how it feels to miss someone so badly you just feel empty. I feel it every day of my life. But you've been doing so well and you can carry on resisting those urges.

Thanks Lia sweetheart. I feel so empty now I'm not right next to her nearly constantly. I just want to hug and hold her so tight and not let go :'( Only to ****ing breathe LOL.

nevermind