I'm so glad too :)
I'm going to see her today and probs give her a hug ha, I always give her hugs anyway, and I gave her one yesterday lol.
Anyway I *really* need to stop looking on the net and get ready for college!!! (Even though it's like a ten minute meeeting, plus anytime I spend seeing Jane, gonna go see Julie next week)
****...my health center in their infinite wisdom gave me enough AD's to last the whole Easter break on top of my old prescription I got last week. I now have 120 tablets and within a minute of being given the prescription I was and am thinking about OD'ing on them. How ****ed up. But that would mean going 5 weeks without any meds since I cannot get anymore until end April. Hmmm.... ****.
*runs and dives into pile of cushions and tries to bury self far far away from meds*
*Sits in corner with bear and cries*
I cant even explain how i feel right now numb and empty yeah thats it numb and empty...
*walks back to the Virtual Campsite and dives into Denial Tent and surrounds herself with blankets*
hey RYL twin! good luck at your session. fill out that sheet and then maybe write in exactly what you posted here? you said it really well. i did post about DBT here and as always updated in my huge gigantic thread LOL
it actually went okay, of course i am questioning it and doubting it now but i feel soooo relieved
i just have to wait almost a month to go back since i am going on vacation now! april 7th i see him again and then i am seeing him every 2 weeks
*squishes Becca and Kit*
come and hang out in the Denial Tent if you need it. it is a lovely place where you can hide from your problems. might help?
*hugs Helen and Emma*
Helen i am so proud of you. have a great meeting with Julia!
Emma honey put them somewhere you can't see and come and hide in the Denial Tent where everybody is nice and safe :)
*considers denial tent*
Can I bring my bear?
Do you have hot chocolate and cookies in there?
Can I just sit and cry?
*opens flap of Denial Tent and pushes you in and grabs your bear and gives you a blanket*
anything goes in the Denial Tent!
there is a campfire in the Virtual Campsite and we make smores and roasted chestnuts and tea and hot chocolate and popcorn and whatever you want!
and there are doggies sometimes too, pets are always welcome be they live or stuffed animals
the Denial Tent is also covered with magical mosquito netting that blocks out all triggery scary badness things and is just magical and lovely
come on in and stay awhile! all are welcome and as you can see i have taken up permanent residence and absolutely refuse to leave :)
if the real world gets too scary with all your crap going on, just remember that you are actually in the Denial Tent and we are all there too rooting for you and that you are always being protected by the Denial Tent's magical mosquito net goodness
Wow today has been amazing.
I feel properly low today, I think I've just felt really empty last couple days but it's hitting me, maybe that's a good sign, I dunno.
I was so scared today about going to see her as Em will already know. BUT it went much better. I went and saw my Psychology teacher first as he had to have his review session with me, hmmm very supportive. I'm glad he's my teacer. He's told me what to do for rest of the term, well year. He also tells me I can finish Psychology in May, right after the exams, rather than stay on to do my A2 corsework, because obviously I'm leaving. Had I been a proper yr12 student, I wouldn't have any choice so HAHAHAHA to all the others!!!!
Then I went to see Jane, but she was busy, but bless her, she came out and asked how I was etc and told me she'd see me in 45 minutes as she wanted to talk and yeah. So went and filled up that time, then I went back and started being nervous lol. But she was so so so sweet, she's sweet anyway but obviously had thought about how to react best. Apprantly she had inklings yesterday something was even more up than what I'd told her (about my friend..part of tuesday..me & mum-moving out...) cus I was really manic (i.e. too happy/smily for me being really depressed) but then when she got the email she was like in shock but obv made the connection. So yeah, she's told me that she spoke to Neil (he's like the chaplin and other roles of the college- best guy ever, cus he even tho he supports all our religious students...I didn't really know whether to ever tell him the **** stuff but yeah. The email thankfully hasn't been shown to anyone, she just told him how I'd been feeling, think she sent it onto Julie though. Then she's told Jess that I'm in a bad way, but didn't show her the email (bloody thank god for that) and Tina will know by monday I guess. So then we went sorted the appointment out. Then I had a chat with Neil, or he did with me ha. After that, went to speak to Jane as I needed to give her something anyway....then realised I couldnt do the appointment, so re-booked that and yeah, spoke to Jane like few mins and sodded off to meet my mum.
Bless her so so so so so much. So met my mum, went to pizza hut for lunch. Was alright, I just wanted to be at home, in my room, blocking the pain out cus I just wanted to cry so much. Then we were talking about the holiday (yay, dunno where I'm going dammit), moving house, uni, collge. Made my mum cry at one point, I think she's struggling with the fact that from two weeks time, people have the opportunity to step into our house. It's just so horrible, feels like they're barging in. We'll just have to accept it. (Now here are the tears coming).
I felt really fed up, so went and got my new digital camera (hehe) and stuff, then went home and here I am writing this.
I just feel soooooooooooo horrible and don't want to be awake right now. Ha! I'm so emotionally overwrought I think?
Thanks for blanket *keeps tight hold of bear and goes and sits in a corner trying to feel protected*
*Alexx wanders in with her doggie*
Alex sweetie, read my post? How you feeling and hows the arm? xx
I've...read lots but i dont think i absorbed any of it :pinch:
arm hurts like hell...
I just don't know what to do anymore... Everything is um going to H*ll
Helen...I read back and I *THINK* I found that right post :]
Emo-Fairy-- whats wrong hun? :( *huggles and hot chocolate*
*pokes head out from under blanket to see Alexx and Kit...goes to hug them and runs back* x
*hides in blanket*
I'm so emotional and right now, not sure how to handle it. Everything feels so good, yet so bad. Haha!
*cries....if only I could in person*
Emmmmmaaaaaaa......can i has a blanket tooooo? :'(
My sister is in alot of trouble and i cant help her :( she is so far away...
i am sorry about your sister and i hope you feel better
*squishes Alexx and hopes you and your arm are okay*
*hugs Helen and Emma*
*goes back fortress of blankets in her corner of the Denial Tent*
*hands blanket to Alexx* sure hun x
I'm sorry about your sister Kit *hugs* x
*hugs to everyone that needs them* xx
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