-hugs crimson and ian- How are you, Crimson?

I'm sorry you are lonely and depressed, Ian. Is there something you could do as a distraction?

I feel that way all the time, Ian. I used to have one friend I confided in but when my husband went through some old IMs and got angry I quit figuring it wasn't worth talking :S

I feel terrible this evening. So fed up. I was so scared walking through the town centre today, I couldn't deal with it and ended up hiding in a bookshop for 20 minutes until I'd calmed down, I felt like everyone was staring and plotting to hurt me. I don't know whats wrong with me. Rebecca kept telling me to throw things around and "go a bit crazy" earlier. I was so scared I nearly cried, several times :( then when I got home I felt no safer because its not a nice place here. I just don't know what to do. I'm too scared to tell anyone other than the ward either :(

*cuddles Sarah*

*snuggles Crimson then curls up* I don't know what to do anymore :(

-hugs ian- Yes, I feel like that all the time. I feel I can't be completely honest with anyone in real life because they will send me away. I can't afford to be sent away. I wish I could actually talk to someone, but it is the law that they have to report certain things, so...yeah.

-hugs sarah- I can relate with that more than I could explain. I freaked out today as well. I was at the uni and felt like everyone was watching my every move.

*snuggles Kitty*

I like coming here. People understand and care, unlike real life where people can be mean. I don't understand why I'm so scared by everything. I've always been like this but its just getting worse and worse and worse :(

-snuggles sarah- I know. I can relate. I don't know what's wrong with me, either.

I just want to die. I don't think I can do this anymore. :'(

*cuddles Kitty lots* you need to stay alive hun, I'd miss you more than I'd miss my left arm <3

Imma leftie :p

-snuggles sarah- Sorry I was gone so long. Had to eat and stuff.

Is okay hun, I'm heading off to bed now, up early, again :( Gah I hate uni!

Nighty ward *big snuggles* stay safe x

Night night Sarah.. -hugs-

goodnight Sarah

*hugs Kitty and Ian*

-hugs felicia- how you be?

I'm just not good at all, and I'm sick of it.

-squishes felicia- I'm sorry you aren't doing well, hun. Is there anything I can do? -offers protective teddy-

*takes protective teddy*
I just think I'm one of those lost causes. Plus I have counseling tomorrow, where I'm probably gonna have to talk about painful things *sigh*

-sits with felicia- I think I'm a lost cause, too. So I can relate. I hope your counseling session goes ok and is not too painful. -hugs-

I have to see my counselor tomorrow as well, but it's not for a counseling appointment. I kind of wish it was, though. It's to see if she can give the financial aid office proof that she says I can start classes this semester. I am getting so tired of the financial aid office, it's ridiculous. Obviously if I was able to register (meaning they didn't put a hold on my registration because the counselor said I she wasn't going to require a registration hold) I am able to go back to school. But, they have to be difficult and require the documentation. I just hope I don't have a break down in the process. Today was the first day back in the counseling center in a month and I was freaking out pretty bad. Then again, I had to talk to a stranger. -sighs- I don't know what's wrong with me, but I'm sick of it.

One good thing happened today, though. I was able to get a pregnancy test scheduled for tomorrow at 3 in the afternoon. It was with a different clinic, but they offer a "sliding scale fee", which means if I do have to pay for it, it won't be that much, because we hardly have any income right now (it's based on your income). I am more calm than I was earlier, still low, but don't feel quite as urgey now. I have to be up really ****ing early though. Like 7:30 am early. It's only 6:45 pm here but just thinking about getting up that early is making me yawn. Lol.

*hugs Kitty* I don't think you're a lost cause.
I hope everything goes okay with your counseling tomorrow. I had to get similar documentation when I got kicked off campus in 2008, and tried to get campus housing and financial aid the following semester, so I feel your pain. *hugs*

-hugs felicia- Thanks. I don't think you are a lost cause, either. -smiles-
It's frustrating, isn't it? I need my financial aid to live off of being that we use it to pay the majority of our bills. I tried explaining that to them, but they don't care. And they tell me there is still a chance I can be denied. -sighs- I'm having bad anxiety problems about it, really. Today was the first day of classes and if my tuition isn't paid by Friday they will withdraw me from all of my classes. I just hope they approve me. And I don't know when they are going to make a decision, either. I'm hoping my counselor can get the documentation to them tomorrow morning and that they will know (and HOPEFULLY approve) by the end of the day. We really need money. We have rent to pay, phone bill to pay, our tire bill to pay, and we are rapidly running out of things around the house. Like, we have one roll of toilet paper left. And I am almost out of shampoo and conditioner. And the cat is going to go starving soon. See...these are the reasons I am so anxious about whether I get my financial aid or not. It's not just because of classes. I could care less if I go to classes. We need it to survive and have a roof over our heads and be clean and and and...ugh!