thanks April, *cuddles* sorry your not doing well, anything you want to talk about?

I don't know, it's like... I know I need to get treatment, but I don't feel "sick enough" ... but I know that I need residential or else I won't take it seriously enough. And 6-12 months away from Jarrod would be so hard on both of us. The free programs I'm looking into are far enough away that he'd only be able to see me a few times during my stay there. I don't know. It's so hard. And I'm terrified. I don't even want to start applying in case I get turned down for some reason or other - biggest fear being that I am truly not ill enough to get free tx. I don't know. I'm pathetic, I'm a coward, but.......... do I NEED treatment badly enough? and can I WANT it badly enough to get it?

:crying:

*huggles April* I don't know what to tell you about the treatment... I know being away from my family would make me feel worse and resist the treatment more. I guess its mostly about knowing yourself in that regard...
I'm starting a night elf on Silvermoon I'll let you guys know what I name it soon. :)

Love the haircut Oliver. It suits you very well. Glad you like it.

*cuddles April* I dont know what to say about it, yeah it will be very hard to be away from your family and hard for them too, but it could be worth a few months to then be able to be with them constantly and being better, I just dont know what to suggest to help you, sorry.

*hugs Crimson* thanks. how are you?

I'm watching some Tim Minchin at the moment, comedian who does most of his stuff through songs, he is a genius and an amazing composer and pianist, love him, so funny as well.

*curls up*

April, I think you do whatever's best for you. I know you feel you're not sick enough, but if they thought that, would they want to be offering it to you?

*cuddles everyone* i have a very annoying but very sweet 3 year old boy trying to make me play on the wii with him right now lol

"walks in and hides in the corner"

*hugs those who can accept them and waves at the others*

If I had a car I would just get in it now and just keep driving south . . .

I want it all to stop. And if it doesn't, I think I'm going to crack . . .

It's so tempting to just cut the rope. :crying:

"cuddles Kahlia1981* Why do you feel like doing that? Here to listen if you'd like to talk babe.

*squishes April* Hope you're feeling better <3

*hugs Oliver, Helen, Crimson, Nicole, Hannah and Kalia*

It's nighttime. I wish my doctor would've just given me sleeping pills, but of course he refused knowing my OD habits :crying: I hate my mind at night.

*cuddles silentgirl back* - Sorry I don't know your name. Call me Kahlia. I'm having a lot of trouble getting psych help. The full deal is in my thread. I've linked to the page where I've really started talking about it. I have mentioned it before that, but ...

Things really aren't easy here. The public system doesn't want to help and I can't afford private. My mood is really low. I nearly did something incredibly stupid last night, and realistically I don't have anyone that I can call if something goes wrong. I don't have the hospital, I don't have a crisis or intervention team.

I don't really know what to do anymore. Things are just getting so out of control and I'm getting really scared. I just keep wanting to burst into tears. I just want it all to be over. :(

I'm so sorry.

*curls up in a corner to cry*

*offers Taz huggles*

*cuddles everyone and then hides*

*waves her special magical wand that allows her to find people that are hiding and then sneaks over to Helen and just sits with her and holds her for a bit*

*cries into Kahlia* Sorry :'( I'm just sooooooooooooooooo incredibly worried about someone. Waiting to have them text me back. Please let them be okay, alive, safe & fast asleep right now, rather than what my mind is thinking. I hate nights like this, when you think someone's doing/done something & you're so scared when in actual fact, they're thankfully safe.

I'm so sick of all my ****. I'm so sick of swinging between suicidal and low. I'll be okay, I know :'(

*keeps holding Helen* It's okay hun, just let it all out. Nights like that really suck. I've been there more times than I'd care to count. :( And knowing that you'll be okay, doesn't always make it easier to be okay.

It really does suck. I can't let everything out, I'd never stop. Argh :'(

My jaw is so sore :( Damm TMJ really acting up at the moment.

I really should try sleep but am so scared.

*Hugs everyone who wants needs them*

Well another sleepless night. Bugger thought it had finally come to an end. *sighs in frustration*

Had a bad night good thing the workers are pritty clued on about some things when they have mh people about the house.

Spet the night alone locked in the sanctury of my room lost in music. Had to submurge at some point so I did just to chat online when we are allowed too.

Hi Mamamia? I see you. Sorry bad with names, memory is lacking somewhere in the recesses of the house. Offeres *Hugs*

Nicole, it's Helen :) Don't apologise, sure we all have forgotten each other's names. I know I have at times :P Thanks for offer of hugs *hugs back*

Hiya Helen. I have forgotten alot of names since I was last a regular on RYL.

Can't wait to see gp in two days. Hope fully he will let me get a script to get some sleep. Nothing that I have used iin the past is working.

Am so worried to about my youngest housemate.