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-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

nicole94 15-07-2010 06:02 PM

argh im so angry right now!

MammaMia 15-07-2010 06:11 PM

Why Nicole?

nicole94 15-07-2010 06:16 PM

because ive spent6 months thinking im a complete freak because im suicidal and self harming and all the proffesionals are saying theres nothing wrong with me, and then my mum just let slip that actually i was diagnosed with BPD in march and everyone else knew. i know i should be happy that ive finally got a diagnosis, and i am dont get me wrog, but im so pissed off that theyve let me think im a complete freak for so long! ive been going over and over it wondering what the **** is wrong with me, and they all knew!

SoMuchMore 15-07-2010 06:29 PM

*hugs helen* you are right, nobody is useless. I know that i'm guilty of calling myself that in here too... but we all should really stop. In no way is that healthy for us to continue saying. Also, I'm so sorry about last night. I agree that you should try to ignore them, although I know that is way easier said than done. you're not invisible to me though.

*hugs april* How are you?

*hugs nicole* whats wrong?

*hugs jess* good luck at your appointment.

*hugs lia* how r u doing today? and I spy you!

*hugs mark* that was very brave of you to tell about your plan. I think that you should tell your SW too. Maybe then you could get some extra help/support. You never know until you try at least.

I'll update about myself later. Kind of ran out of steam right now.

nicole94 15-07-2010 06:36 PM

^^ look at my last post, i cant be botherd to write it all again

SoMuchMore 15-07-2010 06:47 PM

*hugs nicole* oops sry i was typing my post while you responded. Whether or not you have an actual diagnosis, you are NOT a freak. I know that you are angry right now that this was kept from you, but maybe after awhile it will give you some peace of mind about things. And many times MH workers dont like to tell diagnoses because they feel it might impede in the recovery process. I'm sure it wasn't anything intended to be malicious. Also, personality disorders, like bpd, take a long time to truly diagnose, so maybe they were waiting to make sure that is what was actually going on with you.

nicole94 15-07-2010 06:50 PM

nah, ive been properly diagnosed since march, and im not so annoyed that she kept it from me, im more annoyed that my mum knew and that she kept it from me, apparently its very rare to be diagnosed with BPD under 18 years old though :/

SoMuchMore 15-07-2010 06:54 PM

Yea that was another thing i was going to mention, but I'm in the US so i thought maybe things were different there. They probably had to be very cautious with the diagnosis because of that. So maybe its another reason that you were kept in the dark for so long. *hugs*

nicole94 15-07-2010 06:59 PM

*hugs* yeah, basically, they said they only diagnose under 18s when its serious, i suppose the fact that i was making suicide attempts all over the place helped.

SoMuchMore 15-07-2010 07:02 PM

:-/ well maybe since it was diagnosed early they will be able to make a better treatment plan for you. I can understand why you are upset about not knowing before now though. Just don't think you are a freak or anything like that hun b/c you are not.

nicole94 15-07-2010 07:05 PM

to be honest, im not completley sure what it is :/

I'mJustMe 15-07-2010 07:11 PM

I don't know what to do, I'm drowing in my grief and the only one who can save me is the one I'm greiving for. I can't even cry and I just want to scream. I don't even know what good posting this will do. Nothing can help.

I'mJustMe 15-07-2010 07:14 PM

http://www.bpdworld.org/what-is-bpd This might help Nicole.

SoMuchMore 15-07-2010 07:14 PM

*hugs nicole* Maybe you could ask some of the MH people that you work with for more information about it since you now have a name for it. You can also do research online, but you have to be careful obviously b/c not everything is accurate.

*hugs lia* You wanna talk about it hun? Let us know if there is anything we can do to help.

I'mJustMe 15-07-2010 07:40 PM

Thanks Laura *Returns Hugs*

I have no motivation to do anything. I'm watching TV, but not seeing it. Not taking anything in. I tried to write earlier, I managed, but it took me ages and I wasn't getting the same enjoyment out of it as I normally do. I can't even read, I started a chapter this morning and have gotten through about two pages since. I don't even know what I've done with my day.

I actually cried at 64 zoo lane earlier because it reminded me of her. (Which is why I was watching it in the first place. Don't even ask about the story behind that.)

So sorry for being uselss. I'll try for individual replies, see if I can at least be motivated to do that.


PoisonedApple 15-07-2010 07:43 PM


So sorry for being uselss. I'll try for individual replies, see if I can at least be motivated to do that.
1- See Helen's above statement on useless.
2- Struggling and being useless are very different things
3- *cuddles you*

one_step_closer 15-07-2010 07:58 PM

I feel so low, i'm sorry I can't reply to anyone. I had work experience in a charity shop today and I struggled a bit, i've got to go back in Tuesday to Thursday next week.

Can someone reply to my thread in serious? I really need some advice.

I'mJustMe 15-07-2010 08:03 PM

OK, sorry for not being too helpful right now. That any better? *Smiles gently*

I'mJustMe 15-07-2010 08:08 PM

*Hugs Lindsey.* I'm so sorry you're struggling so much right now. I read your thread but I really don't know what to say. If they won't admit you, I don't know what to suggest. Are you on any meds for personality disorders? I have a friend with depression who often talks about 'voices' she says they control her and make her do things,but I don't think they are actual people, just the voices. I'm really sorry I can't be more helpful right now, but just to let you know I did hear you and you're not invisible. I know how important it can be just to be heard sometimes.


one_step_closer 15-07-2010 08:14 PM

Thanks. I am on antipsychotics but they're not helping. I have just had the dose increased today but i've been on that dose before and it didn't do anything for me.

How are you doing?

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