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-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

aoife77 22-12-2010 08:21 PM

*takes a blanket, pillows,mug of tea and finds a corner* haven't slept in 24 hours...lets hope sleep comes easily tonight.

risenfromperdition 22-12-2010 08:25 PM

Zzzzzz

Doikers 22-12-2010 08:31 PM

Hey aoife , I'm sorry you haven't slept for a whole day , Welcome to the ward :) I'm Mark :) Are hugs okay? *Waves if not*

*Hugs Heather* Hooooow are you hun? Tired?

PsychoKitty2010 22-12-2010 08:36 PM

-hugs ward-

-wanders back into the ward and finds a spot on the couch and curls up with fuzzies trying to get warm- hi errybody

Doikers 22-12-2010 08:42 PM

Hey Kitty how are you? *Hugs*

PsychoKitty2010 22-12-2010 08:44 PM

Tired and numb. And cold. Just don't know what to do anymore. Bleh. -hugs mark- How are you?

-spots and hugs crimson- How you be?

PoisonedApple 22-12-2010 08:47 PM

Tired and way too busy...

Doikers 22-12-2010 08:49 PM

*Hugs Kitty , I'm sorry you're Numb and Tired and Cold , Wrap up from the cold , You could get an early night when it's night time your time which I don't know when it is , Make sense? No , sorry I didn't think so :S Erp I think it's neat that yousay "How you be?" so cool :P

I'm feeling okay , not yet festive but maybe I'll be more festive around Family , especially the 11 month old , and My family dog , I love that dog , I'm not allowed a dog here :(

PoisonedApple 22-12-2010 08:52 PM

*Puts up the ward tree, hangs lights over the windows and garland over the doorways*

Doikers 22-12-2010 08:55 PM

Hey thats more festive ! , Thanks Crimson :)

PsychoKitty2010 22-12-2010 09:03 PM

I can relate to being busy, crimson. Yesterday we had to clean house (wanted the place clean before we leave for the holidays so we don't have to come back to a mess!) and we baked cookies. Didn't get to the apple crisp like we planned on. So laundry and apple crisp is on the menu today.

I just wish this week was over so I don't have to have the anxiety of waiting. -sighs- I want to get out of this town. As soon as I get out of town, the anxiety of the holidays will slowly diminish. We get to leave on Friday morning.

Yeah Mark I plan on going to bed at a decent time my time tonight because I have to get up earlier than normal tomorrow when my husband goes to his counseling appointment. I gots some work that I need to do while he is gone. And get a shower during that time and all that jazz.

I have gone emotionally numb. I guess it's better than being all sorts of pissed off and stuff. I'm shutting down though. -shrugs-

-watches crimson decorate the ward-

SparkleKitten 22-12-2010 09:05 PM

So many people moaning at me for my opinions tonight >:( not having a good day at all. Mild car crash (only a tiny bump and not overly hurt), moaning all the time, endoscopy, bleh bleh bleh bleh

Doikers 22-12-2010 09:06 PM

Kitty , I get emotionally Numb quite a bit too . It suck's but yeah it's better than full blown depression (In my case) *Hugs*

Doikers 22-12-2010 09:07 PM

*Squishes Sarah* Sorry to hear about your accident :( What happened ?

PsychoKitty2010 22-12-2010 09:14 PM

-hugs mark back- when I go numb thats when people should worry. heh.

-squishes sarah- awwe sorry bout your accident hope yous okies. sorry yous not having a good day. -squishes more-

SparkleKitten 22-12-2010 09:14 PM

Sun got in my fiance's eyes whilst driving and car slid on corner and hit another car. I pulled my neck muscle and yeah :( *curls up in corner* so fed up

misskitty112 22-12-2010 09:22 PM

*hugs ward*
I will be useless from now until after Christmas. I'm sorry in advance for all my whining and complaining and crying. I. hate.the. holidays.

SparkleKitten 22-12-2010 09:24 PM

Aww poor dear *cuddles*

Doikers 22-12-2010 09:29 PM

*Hugs Felicia* Awh , I'm not exactly loving them up to this point either Hun but my PM box and e-mail are always open for you .

PsychoKitty2010 22-12-2010 09:31 PM

-hugs sarah and felicia-

Sarah, I'm sorry you pulled your neck muscle. -cuddles and snuggles and squishes-

Felicia, no need to be sorry. The holidays are a rough time of year for many of us. -squishes-

misskitty112 22-12-2010 09:39 PM

I just hate them. I hate that no matter where I'll be, my family thinks they need to invite their (as they would say) "adopted family" Like my grandparents that I live with, just told me their inviting another family and their teenage kids to our house because they consider those kids as more of grandchildren than they consider me. Wtf. How the hell am I supposed to feel about that.
And my mom wants her stepdaughter at her house because "Tara is the daughter I always wished for; but you never could be." I get it. She's prettier, she's nicer, she's not ****ed up like I am. Do you have to ****ing rub it in?
I don't want to do Christmas anymore. I'm sick of trying to be happy and act happy for these damn people in my life. Why can't I be enough?
I wish someone could tell me why I'm never good enough, why no one wants to love me, and why they choose the damn holidays to kick me when I'm already down because holidays are so hard to get through when all I want is my daddy back.

Doikers 22-12-2010 09:44 PM

*Massive Hugs Felicia* I'm sorry your family are being so mean and inconsiderate to you , We love you here . I do Love you , you're so cool and such a nice girl :)

misskitty112 22-12-2010 09:49 PM

Thanks, Mark. I love you and everyone on here too. The ward is probably the only reason I'm still living at the moment.
But... I'm not cool :p I'm actually very nerdy... but I embrace it. Eh.

SparkleKitten 22-12-2010 09:54 PM

You are cool Felicia and I love you too. I don't know why anyone would want anyone other than you, you're amazing *snuggles*

*snuggles Mark and Kitty*

Doikers 22-12-2010 09:55 PM

*Snuggles Sarah back*

misskitty112 22-12-2010 09:57 PM

Thanks, Sarah. You're amazing too <3

SparkleKitten 22-12-2010 10:05 PM

Thanks <3

Doikers 22-12-2010 10:13 PM

I just went the WHOLE FREAKING DAY without cutting :) *Little high fives my wardies*

PsychoKitty2010 22-12-2010 10:14 PM

-hugs and snuggles felicia- We all love you my dear. I know I haven't really known you for that long, but I think you are awesome and amazing. I lubs yew -hugs and squishes more-

xxjuliexx 22-12-2010 10:14 PM

my parents dont really want me either they'd much rather have my sister then me but they have me *sigh* *offers hugs*

xxjuliexx 22-12-2010 10:16 PM

*glomps mark* mark that is amazing marky

Doikers 22-12-2010 10:19 PM

Heeee Thanks Julie *Glomps back* I had slipped back into daily cutting but I just didn't today , I didn't say , "Mark NOT today" it just happened :)

xxjuliexx 22-12-2010 10:22 PM

*claps happily then dances with mark* now i must go wash my car wish me luck i really hate going out side
talk soon
i'm so proud of u mark

misskitty112 22-12-2010 10:22 PM

Way to go, Mark *high five* You rock, you know that?

*cuddles Kitty and Julie*

Doikers 22-12-2010 10:23 PM

I'm pretty tired so off to bed I go
*Plods to bed and gets in*
*Night Night My wardies* I don't know what I'd do withouty you guys :)

PsychoKitty2010 22-12-2010 10:24 PM

-hugs mark- yay for making it through a day without cutting! I'm happy for you. :)

-curls up on the bathroom floor again- ugh I can't eat or drink anything without feeling like I am going to be sick. Not even water. :(

Edit: night night mark

SparkleKitten 22-12-2010 10:30 PM

Night Mark, and well done :D

*snuggles Kitty* sorry that you're poorly :(

*snuggles Felicia*

Hey Julie - hope the car cleaning goes well *hugs*

My parents would rather have my sister than me. They even said they wished they'd only had her.

PsychoKitty2010 22-12-2010 10:37 PM

-hugs sarah- thanks...I just think I am prego and dealing with horrible morning sickness. won't know for sure until the beginningish of january though. but it's very unusual for me to feel this sick. taking my meds is the hardest part of it it makes me just want to be sick. It's horrid.

My parents wouldn't want me if I was on disability. they would disown me. They are constantly mad at my sister but I don't blame them. I just can't stand my mom for different reasons. I'm cool with my dad though. It's just he doesn't stand up for me to my mom because he knows that if he does he will be in trouble and well he has to live with her. but I'm sorry about your guys's families. That is so not cool to say to anybody. -hugs and snuggles and squishes-

nicole94 22-12-2010 10:37 PM

*Hugs everyone*

PsychoKitty2010 22-12-2010 10:45 PM

-hugs nicole- how you be nicole?

nicole94 22-12-2010 10:52 PM

*Hugs Kitty* I'm ok thanks, Bit triggerd, but finally got into the christmas spirit :) You?

SparkleKitten 22-12-2010 10:55 PM

*Snuggles Nicole* Glad you're okay :)

*huggles Kitty tightly* oh dear, that sounds sucky :( I hate feeling sick :( you going to be okay?

aoife77 22-12-2010 10:57 PM

Thank you for the hugs Mark :) they are quite welcomed indeed. How's your night been thus far? A pleasant good evening to everyone :) Tea?

PsychoKitty2010 22-12-2010 11:02 PM

I'm sorry you are a bit triggered. I have gone numb.. :s

aoife77 22-12-2010 11:06 PM

Hugs :) care for a mug of tea and a blanket dear? I am sorry you feel that way I ve been there many times.

PoisonedApple 22-12-2010 11:16 PM

:D I love work christmas parties...
The following content has been hidden - Reason : ramblings... how is it my holidays with work are better than at home?
I always get something good at them. in 08 I got this, in 09 I got a bag of stuff (bath pillow, hot chocolate with peppermint, etc), this year I got a bag (with a mug, 3 flavors of coffee and a set of 3 chocolates). This year there was only one thing I liked more but it got swapped so much I couldn't pick it... it was a bottle of wine and these super awesome glasses... but I know where to get the glasses so I'm okay with that!
As to where with any other party or anyone else giving gifts, even when I specifically ask for something I am usually disappointed. For example, last year I received from family: 4-5 bath sets (not even in scents I would choose), a pair of socks and a fairy statue (the most appealing item). All in all the one of those I liked is a dust collector. *sigh* This year with the family I made a list (got complaints and insults for my effort followed by them all leaving it on the floor or throwing it away) and more than likely got only one thing from the list... and, of all people, G got me that and let me pick out what I wanted from the website she chose.

nicole94 22-12-2010 11:18 PM

Aaw :( Sorry about that. Do you know whats making you feel numb?

PsychoKitty2010 22-12-2010 11:18 PM

-hugs back- thanks. I have unlimited pillows and fuzzy blankies and I'm not a fan of tea. thanks for the offer, though. -smiles-

What people don't realize is that when I go numb it's bad. It means I have completely given up and can't handle the emotions anymore. My past few suicide attempts have been while I was numb. If I still feel anything, whether it be anger or depression or panic, at least I am still feeling. But when I go numb... -sighs- it's hard to explain. Sorry.

PsychoKitty2010 22-12-2010 11:25 PM

Nicole: Everything has just bottled up so long that I can't handle it anymore. My brother's death this past month threw me in a whirlwind of hurt. It totally ****ed up my sleeping. Amara started getting stronger after his death. Then I found out that my sister is back to her drinking again. I have so many bad memories of her and drinking. I can't handle it anymore. She won't be around much longer, we all know that. The problem is, she's killing herself by drinking and she refuses to stop. I can't handle losing another loved one. I really can't. The only sibling I will have left is an asshole. My sister is hosting christmas this year which is even worse because she is going to ruin it by being drunk. She was even drunk for my wedding! I just can't handle it anymore. So I went numb. -shrugs-

FlyingNy 22-12-2010 11:26 PM

*Hugs Kitty* Sorry, right now, I am useless.

*Hugs Nicole* Glad you found the Christmas spirit.

*Hugs Aoife* I'm Lia.

*Hugs Crimson*

Sorry I don't have many words. Everything just keeps crumbling. I find new strength then something knocks it down. Is there even a point?


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