Nononononononono! I'm alone. Entirely alone.

I'm worthless. I don't deserve to live. I want to OD. I can OD. I'm losing everyone. All those I once held dear seem to be walking out of my life.

I DON'T WANT TO LOSE ANYONE ELSE.

I'll walk away from you all first, leave this ****ing world before anyone else just runs out of my life! I...I feel rejected. I'm not good enough

Had a SI relapse after 2 years clean, feeling totally ashamed.... Totally usless...... checks in

*cuddles all*

Everything is going seriously downhill, I'm being repeatdly hurt and it's encouraging my urges. Seriously need to tell someone, because something is going to happen otherwise. But I can't have him find out, which is what will happen if I tell my counsellor, **** **** ****

*hugs Nikki* hang in there hun, im here if you want to talk.

*hugs mouse*
*hugs silent * welcome to the ward, if you want to talk feel free to pm me.
*hugs kahlia*
*hugs mouse*
*hugs zowie* hope everythings going ok zowie

Fallen slips are unfortunatly apart of recovering, i know how you feel, hang in there *hugs*
*hugs hells* im so sorry thigns are still going down hell for you, but remember things change and it Will get better, if you need to talk to someone then im here :)

Hang in there everyone.

*hugs Helen* Im always here if you need to talk ok!!!
*hugs Fallenshadows* I'm sorry to hear you've slipped but here is a little piece of advice stolen from SIXX:A.M;s song "Accidents Can Happen"

*Clings back* I managed to resist in the end. Housemate's gonna give the mental health team a kick up the ass tomorrow, to see how things are going, and seeing the doc on Friday. So yeah. Woo.

And thanks <3. It's just several things all together. I keep getting into the mindset that everyone's going to just go 'O BAI *paf*'

*leaves Freshly made hot chocolate with marshmallows and whipped cream For everyone*

Its the best i can do at the moment!! *hugs to all*

Thanks you two, ugh, I just want to be dead already but I cant put my plans into place yet..

*hugs lots*

*sends cuddles around*

>__< Urges are back

*Rocks back and forth*

*cuddles Dayna*

*paces*
Why am I talking to him?
Why do I feel happy talking to him right now?
I don't want to feel so bad later....
*sits in chair and bites nails*
I refuse to let myself hurt myself...

*hugs Silently crying*

*hugs Helen* - What plans darlin??

*hugs to all*

My bank have now locked down my account!!! ARRRRG why wont things just go right for once!

Sorry that I'm not replying to people, having a really **** day. *Gives out hugs* - best I can do right now.

I feel so terrible. Couldn't sleep last night because the voices were so bad, had to take a PRN this morning and then when dad went out I immedeatly started looking for the place where he hides the meds.
I just want to sleep and sleep and sleep.
I'm having really bad thoughts. About hurting myself, hurting people around me. The Man wants me to slit throats. People in the street, people I know, even people I love. Now I don't think I'd ever hurt the people I love, but I've hurt people I don't know before in the past so there's no telling if I'm just going to loose it and do something stupid.

Argghhhh. Kill me.

*gives out hugs*

I'm off the Clozapine, on the Amisulpride and the Voices are giving me HELL. The Men in Suits in and the Mindreaders are following me and editing my thoughts. They are reading my Mind and trying to Kill me.

On top of that, I appear to have lost the ability to type properly.

To go on a massive destructive bender that should hopefully kill me...and you really aren't having much luck are you?

*hugs tight* Sorry its not more :(

Again, cuddles, sorry its not more :(

*hugs Helen* Please dont do anything like that hunni - If you really need to talk Im here okay!!!

I never have any luck! im just so used to it all now

but on a good note i will be 1 year and 5 Months Clear Of SI Tomorrow!!!!


*hugs to everyone else*

Wooooohooooo

You Rock

I feel alone in my head and thoughts. I want to tell him but how can I. To worry him again. I bet he is sick and tired of me being low and sucidial.

Can I stay here forever and make time stand still......

one of my best friends is setting me up for a fall it hurts so bad i just want to make the pain stop i dont know what to do ne more i wonder if its me thinking stuff thats not real but it feels real, i need to make it stop! i want to go and find out but im to scared cos if im right then my life will be over but i cant cope i want it all to stop please!

Jaddddddde *clings*

You're welcome to never leave the psych ward ;)