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~*forever_broken*~ 12-09-2007 06:26 PM

*hugs everyone*
There's so many of us at the moment...sad day :s
Called in sick to work today...just didn't tell them it was a mental problem, heh.
*curls up in corner and sleeps*

MammaMia 12-09-2007 07:56 PM


& that hurts cus today was a good one :(

l.e.g.o 12-09-2007 08:53 PM

*hugs alll*

i want out of this world or a very sharp blade

Jetforce 13-09-2007 07:54 AM

**hugs all**

Same here newlife..i wanna be out of this world too :(

l.e.g.o 13-09-2007 09:05 AM

i have a very sharp blade in my hand and i need to use it will someone wrestle it out of my hand please

im sorry

Jetforce 13-09-2007 09:15 AM

*grabs it out of ur hand*

STAY SAFE okies?? Plz newlife...

l.e.g.o 13-09-2007 09:22 AM

*starts shaking*

why do i get so desperate?

I'm very sorry Jetforce for being like this

Jetforce 13-09-2007 09:26 AM

It's ok

Just hang in there...that feeling will pass eventually

l.e.g.o 13-09-2007 09:32 AM

I'm sorry

I'm sorry

i need to go back t the doctors but i'm scared what they'll do too scared im so weak

Jetforce 13-09-2007 09:46 AM


l.e.g.o 13-09-2007 09:51 AM

*cuddles up*

need someone sorry

Jetforce 13-09-2007 11:16 AM

Argh...*locks himself in a padded room*

Damn, i wish i was in one now...for my own safety hmm

Johanna80 13-09-2007 01:00 PM

Have eaten to much again - not going to stop either...
*curles up whith a bag of bread*

shadowedseraph 13-09-2007 07:53 PM

*wraps self in blanket and huddles in the corner* hate it i hate it *sobs*

MammaMia 13-09-2007 11:36 PM

What a day =[ Cried twice yano.

Meh ths is been a tough day.

Weekend is coming. :)

Johanna80 14-09-2007 11:03 AM

Diet starts tomorrow. Must eat everything in the house now..
The hardest thing will be convincing dad that I diet but I still like his food.
3 days cut free yey! I wonder if I can keep that up with the diet...
Oops quite long input here *hides computer under the blanket, and eat candy*

l.e.g.o 14-09-2007 11:10 AM

i kept strong with my boyfriend i didnt give him sex i kept strong yay


Jetforce 14-09-2007 02:40 PM

Your doing well there Jo

Keep it :-)

MammaMia 14-09-2007 03:52 PM

Oh dear.

**** day at college, masssssssssive crying fit =[

Jetforce 14-09-2007 03:59 PM

awww....*hugs dance!dance!*

Wat happened today?

MammaMia 14-09-2007 04:10 PM

Stuipd, bad day, AGAIN

Was seriously late, stuipd ****ing buses. So when I did get to college, I was shaking through anger, frusration & upsetness.I somehow held back the tears for first lesson.

The second lesson was another frusrating one and stuff. I (accidently) killed a bug and Jess made me feel **** about it for a few seconds (but she doesn't know how she made me feel luckily). Then at the end she made me wanna cry when she was like don't think we have anymore lessons together today, so if I don't see you have a lovely weeked.
I went to break feeling really shitty and tried to find anyone I could (rather than see Jess and/or Tina) but failed miserably and was getting worse and just wanted Abbi lol.

Went to pyschology, at the state of almost crying, went into class, Tina started talking & I just totally started. We went out of the room and my word it was awful. Went to staffroom, was one of the worst points of my crying fit. It was worse because I could SO tell people were looking. Then Rachel (bless her SO much) went to find us somewhere to talk after Tina asked. Fozia comes over and askes what's up and I was trying to talk but couldn't get much out. Got given a drink & Rach comes back. So then spent AGES talking & missed the whole lesson boo =[

Cba to explain what we did before we got to ICT cus tis complicated lol. But saw Jane and told her a little bit. So went to lesson & didn't get all my work done GRRRR!

Then after all that, got Mick to give us the homework (they started it in class?) and then get the textbooks =]

Theeeeeeeen went to find Jess, guess I wanted to see her. But couldn't and then spoke to Jane about today, bless her SO SO SO much.
Poor Tina putting up with that today but she said she was glad I came & talked to her, well techically I didn't lol.

But finished early haha & got present off my mum who's home.
Just somehow don't feel safe =[

shadowedseraph 14-09-2007 08:13 PM

*hugs dancedance* sounds like one helluva day

l.e.g.o 14-09-2007 08:45 PM

Cant keep on cant do this anymore

MammaMia 14-09-2007 09:30 PM


Originally Posted by shadowedseraph (Post 272603)
*hugs dancedance* sounds like one helluva day

Sure was, yet I don't feel any better. I can still feel the upset in me, guh bet I'll be faking another weekend of being happy infront of my family. :whistling:

TheSuffererComplex 15-09-2007 12:35 AM

I feel worthless. I gave in again. I was doing so well...

*hugs dance!dance!4eva and newlife*

MammaMia 15-09-2007 12:48 AM

Awww *huggles back*

Johanna80 15-09-2007 09:03 PM

Does it count as a new cut is you open a old one? damn, I think it does... Well I made it almost 4 days.. The diet held for 7 hours... Must start on monday!!! Better to start on mondays...
I wonder if I can make it in steps? I can cut the 20th NOT before!!!
Sorry for rant. *hugs*

Sugar and Spice 15-09-2007 09:26 PM

*hugs Johanna*
Taking tiny steps is the best way to tackle these things.
Hope you are safe

MammaMia 15-09-2007 10:44 PM

I'm feeling so upset still Feel like hardly been happy since july? Some people who know best I suposse (like adults and others) keep telling me it's going to be ok I know you also have to believe it yourself. Also I'm trying so damm hard to reverse negative thinking into more positive thinking but this is just so so so so so hard I mean I'm wondering how I manged to cry so bad yesterday...but I kind of know the own answer. This is just so hard and having to be so strong is wearing me out somedays. *sigh*

l.e.g.o 16-09-2007 08:23 PM

*sits in corner rocking*

i feel bad

~*forever_broken*~ 17-09-2007 12:46 AM

*sits in her corner, knees to chest and clutches stuffed lamb*
I can't do this...I'm no good to anyone right now, I'm sorry.
University health and counseling center opens tomorrow...I should call and make a counseling appointment, and a meds appointment...but I can't. I've been a wee bit suicidal that past week...I feel awful...but I can't be honest with them about that...at least not about having been suicidal. See, I know I won't do anything...I haven't yet, you know? It's been really harfd at times but I haven't. But they won't believe me...I came really close to being locked up twice this summer and I won't risk it again...then everyone would know...my family, my friends...work, instructors...
I hate this...

MammaMia 17-09-2007 02:11 AM

I can't do this.

I keep slipping.

****ing make it stop going so bad.



YodaBearInterrupted 17-09-2007 05:00 AM

*hugs dancedance4eva, Ally83, and Newlife*

MammaMia 17-09-2007 07:44 AM

Still feeling down, normally when summat would upset me on the friday...I'd be over it by saturday...but not this time :(

Don't want to go college today and same time do.

My chest hurts bad =[

l.e.g.o 17-09-2007 09:14 AM

*hugs others and comes out of corner*

maybe life can get better

or not

MammaMia 17-09-2007 08:58 PM

Still have pain in my chest, but also have it in my stomach && ribs :(

College was...odd >.<

You say you wanna talk to me? WHEN THE **** ARE WE GONNA? SAYING HELLO TWICE DOESN'T COUNT.


It's my nephew's bday tomorrow & highly unlikely gonna have anythin off me *sobs*

MammaMia 18-09-2007 12:51 AM

What's happening?

*hugs for everyone*

I'm feeling bit more cheerful even if unwell & bit confused lol :D

Pomegranate 18-09-2007 10:04 AM

*Checks in* finds corner to sit and rock in. I just feel really alone and scared.

Hope everyone else is doing ok x

MammaMia 18-09-2007 11:41 AM

Awwwww hunni, I think everyone is bit nervous, some more than others but it'll be finnnnnnnnne I'm sure :D

I'm in well proper good mood :D

Johanna80 18-09-2007 02:18 PM

I wish i could go to uni, just one more essay and one more term then I'll have my masters. But since I'm on disability leave I can't do this, I can't even read a ordinary book without being stressed. and I have allways loved to read...
*sits in corner and looks though comics*

l.e.g.o 18-09-2007 08:48 PM


tooo many memories

i hate that place

the people who told me i should die are associated with it

cant do this

MammaMia 19-09-2007 12:02 AM

Why did things have to go wrong, the first day it starts good.

**** **** ****!

shadowedseraph 19-09-2007 03:40 PM

*hugsDance!Dance!* what happened?

l.e.g.o 19-09-2007 03:51 PM

*hugs all and then retreats*

life hurts and so does love-why do i bother to love him when he cant see it-why do i love him when it feels like he doesnt love me back whatever he says why do i love him when he can barely find time for me

love hurts

MammaMia 19-09-2007 08:33 PM


Originally Posted by shadowedseraph (Post 279794)
*hugsDance!Dance!* what happened?

Just a few things pissed me off which don't matter. Then I was upset about some stuff but it's sorted out. I'm feeling proud of myself. Things are finally beginning to smooth out I think :thumbup:

shadowedseraph 19-09-2007 11:04 PM

^^ well done you

xXOpheliaXx 19-09-2007 11:15 PM

can i join u?

MammaMia 20-09-2007 01:12 AM


Originally Posted by shadowedseraph (Post 280563)
^^ well done you

Thanks :hop:

YodaBearInterrupted 20-09-2007 07:20 AM

*sits in a corner with a pillow and curls up*

I hate myself... I really do...

MammaMia 20-09-2007 07:47 AM

I know how that feels.

*leaves some hugs*

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