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First thing's first Kat. Breath slow before you hyperventilate yourself and pass out. They won't take her if you aren't a danger to her. You haven't shown you are and your parents and husband are there for her too. *cuddles Kat* you'll both be ok. I'm sorry I had more to say but the state of my mind today is failing me right now.
Do you know who was writing in the purple ^up there^? |
*nods* jack's my hubby. he knows i'm struggling. he's known it ages but it doesnt matter to him because he cant cope with knowing it so he shoves it under the carpet. but i think he's just afraid for hazel. cos when i told him earlier about the thread i wrote, he just said he was calling the dr because it was unsafe for me to be alone with hazel and i needed to get some help for it because i was getting dangerous. he doesn't care about how I feel or what's going on in my head. as long as hazel is alright and he can go to work theres no problem. he didnt even offer me acuddle.
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no. :( group was scary and i feel **** and i dont care if thats a judgment! and i feel ill and i want a ciggarette but i cant because its too late to go out and my mum cant know i smoke! :(
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no i dont konw. my current state of mind wont let me decide what the truth is.
me? if i had to say it was anything else, in my usual state of mind i would say it it was shadow. the thing i try to keep locked up the most because it would do anything to destroy me. |
aww Kat. *cuddles more* i'm sorry he's so unsupportive. do you have other family or friends you can talk to about this? That can help you when ur struggling?
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hes only unsupportive because he's in over his head and cant cope and doesnt know where to turn for help because we've been turned away so many times. I dont have friends, not that can help. my bestie is miles away and we never get to talk andd my family are ostriches
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I'm really sorry but I'm tired and have taken my meds one of which is sedative so I'm going to head to bed ,I hope you sleep well Kat *HUGE HUGS*
*Leaves Hugs and a fruit selection with extra pinapple in on the ward table* Night all :) |
lob some sedatives over here wont you mark? i wish. but im feeding hazel. so i cant. no sleep help here. night *cuddles* sleep tight
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morning all i'm so late for class:notsure: :notsure: :crying:
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*grabs some pineapple before it's gone*
What about his family Kat? Even if it's just you having them take Hazel to their place when you're in crisis? Good night Mark. Sleep well. |
Good morning Julie. What class?
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hmm, that i'd have to think about. i dont really trust them with her. they're not really 'involved' shall we say. they're two towns away and dont bother to visit us, we have to go to them. apparently its because they're working for a living and dont have time. like we have time with jacks shifts, but then again they dont like his job so they'd love any excuse to tell him to jack it in..(oh dear..that was a bad choice of words.!) meh, i'm whinging.
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lol no worries i have issues with my in-laws too (as if that wasn't obvious by the last few days of ranting and whining and complaining) but if it comes down to it and u really need some time and a break any family or friend that is willing to help is good
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i guess. im just really really protective..probably over. but my mum allowed me to get hurt..i cant..*shudders* you know.
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yeah. i know and totally understand.
but this is why we're thinking now to make a plan for later if you need it :) something you can put into practice and be ok with that will also help you. |
i wish i could think now. but everything hurts. i think i might need to sleep.
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G'night, Mark, thanks for all of the support today. :) Pleasant dreams... *tucks you up and gives you one last cuddle* :)
*cuddles Kat* Sweetie, calm down... I know, it's so so so much easier said than done, but I honestly don't think that they'd take Hazel away from you. As Crimson said, you haven't shown yourself to be a danger to her or anyone else, you seem to be handling things pretty well (considering the circumstances!! I would be doing much worse, I think), and you have us for support. I wish I could be there IRL to help out someone, sorry your family is such an arsey one (lol), and sorry that Jack isn't there to support you more... will keep you in my prayers if that's okay? *more cuddles* *cuddles Crimson* Read your earlier post(s) and wish that I could help you as well. Keep plugging on... How's WoW going? :D Does it cheer you up at all? keep you distracted? because it does me. I FINALLY completed a warlock quest today on Silvermoon server (41 gnome 'lock :D, named Shadedsoul if you want to look her up on the Armory), that's been waiting in the wings for probably about 6 months now. Gahh. That's what happens when you have a ton of toons, lol. :-/ What levels are yours on Runetotem? and Alliance or Horde? I'm thinking of starting a night elf hunter or something on that server, but we'll see. :) Sorry for all of the WoW-speak, hopefully it got your mind off of things for a bit? *cuddles* *cuddles Louise, Nicole, Julie, Laura, Kahlia, JK, Oliver, and everyone else I'm forgetting* So sorry if I forgot you... that doesn't mean that you're not important to me, it just means that I'm forgetful!! lol... Going to see Ironman 2 tonight... am nervous about that. Don't like being around people - hopefully not many will be there tonight. Also don't really want to go, am really exhausted and just want to sleep. I need - NEED - to start exercising again, am so effing FAT... :crying: ...but I don't have the energy to even try. I suck so much and I hate myself even more. :crying: I think I need to update r/v... will be back in a bit. *cudldes everyone some more* |
*cuddles april back* your prayers are very much welcomed, and blessed. thank you.
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my art school
and i slept in and missed a fitness class i just wanna hit myself grrr |
*hugs julie* wish i could say somthing good
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updated r/v............
*hides* :crying: |
*yawns uncontrollably* i need sleep. *musters up all the energy she has and leaves piles of cuddles and safe hugs on the table for all who want them*
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*cuddles Kat and tucks her into bed* Sleep well. |
Can't sleep , I don't understand it I'm TIRED but just laying there tossing and turning is getting me frustrated so I'll hang out in here for a few minutes I think
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*pokes around , anyone awake ?*
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*huggles Mark* your mind keeping you awake or just can't get comfy?
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Mind keeping me awake with unsafe thoughts , I'm just gonna sit here for ten minutes and munch on handfuls of cereal and then try and sleep again . I don't want to be too tired when I have visitors tommorow:S
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have you had some tea? might help some
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*hides*
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No I haven't had tea . I'm gonna give sleep another go , I ended up eating a bowl of cereal :( Stress / comfort eating . Night Again.
*Hugs crimson and Helen* If I'm still awake in a bit I'll try tea though :) |
Hope you sleep Mark *hugs* xx
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*huggles Mark* night. *waves*
*finds and huggles Helen* |
Tea? when I couldn't sleep I found this herbal infusion calledd "night-time tea" it was very good and did seem to help. What visitors do you have tomorrow Mark? Hope you get to sleep soon.
I've just finished for the evening, went to they gym, ate a proper dinner, started my PhD application letter, started brainstorming for the presentation I have to give at an interview next week and had a long skype chat to my boyf. He looked tired :( So have decided to try and fit it all in, PhD application, work trip to Copenhagen and an interview all by next friday. I hope the ash cloud doesn't stop me from going home. I still feel a bit over my head but if I think about the tasks separately and allocate time to them I can hopefully get it all done with out turning into a complete mess. I know it probably doesn't sound like I'm fitting in much but it's all such a big deal to deal with. *hugs everyone* sorry too many posts to catch up on for separate responses hey Helen, what's up? hi Crimson, how are you? cuddles Julie cos I sees her |
*clings*
I can't stop crying. This is way too much to handle :'( Please, I just want this **** to go away :'( :'( |
*holds Helen tight*
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what **** hun?
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Thanks Hannah :( So much ****, a lot of it's in my thread which you've seen already. I just want to be happy & to be okay and my best friends too :'( Is that too much to ask?
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I still feel like the hurtable part of me has been taken out... *shrugs* and I can't wait to leave work and go home |
*sits* so anyone around or r u all in bed :p
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I'm still here Julie.
Mark's visitors are his brother, sister & their baby??? |
*hugs Helen more* ah that **** and definitely not too much to ask, only reasonable I'd say. Try not to think of "everything" and break it down into more manageable chunks, it doesn't make it better but sometimes it makes it easier to get through the next minute. When I start thinking about "everything" I start to drown. Probably not very helpful but it's all I can think of and knowing a little bit about how difficult things are for you.
Ah thanks Crimson *gives you a little cuddle* I know how you feel about work. What do you do? Is the hurtable part being removed a good thing or a bad thing? |
*ponders* mayhaps i have the days mixed. or maybe the hsw is coming by earlier than his family...
*tries to unscramble brains* |
Thanjs Hannah.
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Honestly, I don't know yet. It's wierd though. I feel like me but I don't... Kinda like I just rerouted a lot of circuits but yet like something else... I really have no idea how to describe it. |
that sounds kinda interesting, if it keeps you busy too, I know though that sometimes you just don't want to be in work. Well I hope it's a good thing :)
I hopes Julie is okay Hang in there Helen Gotta go to bed, sorry guys |
Night Han x
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busy sometimes just not on wednesdays.
*hugs good night* |
Got to love ideas coming into your head & you can't get them out.
:'( **** OFF. Why can't all this **** just PLEASE ****ING LEAVE ME ALONE :'( |
i'm on my phone so replys will me slow and i'll probably miss some of u sorry *sits* it's lunch time *stares at my lunch* it feels like i'm at war with these stupid crackers
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*leaves hugs & cuddles for everyone and disappears*
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