*hugs ally*

I dunno what to say to u....since i'm 1/2 braindead atm..but yeah, plz look after urself there!!!

How is every1 else? *throws some mashmellows at u*

How is Emma, Carole, Alex and anyone else I've missed doing??? Check in guys please :(

Crap. I've got to go all the frigging way to Birmingham, to one of the hospitals, just to get two packets of hearing aid batteries. I just got a really bad feeling about this trip because of my hand, doesn't look too bad. I'm just stuipd. Heh, had bad dreams again all morning. Not nice :(

I'm considering taking the entire day off at the moment, I only have two lessons today, one of which I'll probs end up missing all of. The other, I really need to be in it. But I hate my teacher. Sod that Helen, you can do it :) I might come back here after getting my batteries lol, and stay til I have to go for my last class of today. Anyway, we'll see what happens.

my wrist hurts. it's not bad. but i got a bad mark for my psych report and then i ate dinner AND dessert. so yes, i am that sad, i cut because of those. i actually tried not to, i really did. but nothing else made it all go away.

*hugs effervescence*

It's okay hun :) My hand kills aswell, so I know how you feel. Right, I should really get going soon. It's going to take long enough to get over there (bus!), without making it any later hehe. I then have to try and remember my way around, cus it's a very long walk passing several departments, fun fun. I only want batteries =\

hey everyone, sorry i didnt check back in last night after the post i left lat sat night/sun morning. i dissapeared for a while, wasnt thinking about what i did i just wanted to hide and i went missing. i got found at silly oclock this morning, so yeah not feeling too good right now. i'm just waiting for my CPN to ring me back. am sat at home on my own wich probably isnt a good thing right now so i hope she rings soon coz i cant go much longer trying to avoid doing what i feel like doing. :(

*hugs everyone*

I am doing ok, at least I was I think. I am tired but I managed this weekend looking after my nan. I feel so sorry for her though, I hate Parkinsons and Cancer, she cant do anything and she's so depressed :(.

Now I am panicking because in 20 minutes I will get my last set of stitches out and then have no more left in me. This should not be a panic situation but it is and I am already contemplating saying '**** it' to the essay I *have* to do today and getting drunk after the appointment to make sure I have more stitches. Must wait till midday though.

Hi guys.
I have a KILLER headache...due to the fact I comfort ate myself INTO OBLIVION and now would REALLY like to feel empty again...even though I'm coming down off the sugar rush :pinch:
I had a hospital appointment on Saturday...and when I came away...I made the most important decision that I can manage at the moment....

I.Am.NEVER.Going.Back.





Ever.


She hates me :blink:

*hugs everyone lots and lots*

I suprise myself. I really do. I went upto hospital and managed all of that fine (yaaaay) and stuff. Got on bus back to Solihull, and then a switch flicked on near to Solihull. I then knew I HAD to sit in a train station, wtf? So that's what I did, had to fight temptations off to throw myself three times...but yeah...I told my counsellor already =\ So yeah I'm stuipdly suidicial....and she wants me to hold onto my postive thoughts bit...okay. I'm scared. Wanna cut more now :(

*HUGGLES*

i hope everybody is okay

i send you all SMURFS

do you remember the Smurfs? la la la la la la la la la la la
okay well they had a lala song that is hard to type but it was so catchy and clever and they were blue and skipped about
great cartoon that was
we had it here in the USA i wonder if you had it in the UK and aussie
you should youtube it or google it or something and have popcorn and watch it in the DENIAL TENT it would be great!
what an awesome idea i have just had!!

we had the smurfs. they were cool.

ok so i copied and pasted from my other thread cos im too lazy to tell it again:

i had to go to my anatomy lab today. where we were stimulating nerves on arms and wrists and hands. requiring me to show mine to my lab partner. with scars and one-day-old cuts on my hand and both wrists. she even mentioned the one on my hand before we started, asking how i managed to cut it that badly (as in accidentally cut it that badly). luckily i had a good story sorted for that one. but yes. effective story kinda ruined by the ones on my wrists.
**** **** ****. my partner lives in the same hall as me. what if she TELLS someone??

I feel sick. I am so drunk. Uuuurrrggghhh. *hugs akl who need them* Love youa ll. Stay strong x

I had my session today. It went better than expected. I told him something interesting though. I hadn't vocalized it before... When I cut my wrist Saturday too deeply I had the thought that I could just let myself bleed out...and then somehow 'knew' that 'it wasn't time'. I can't figure that out. I wasn't freaked out or anything, it was just a calm realization. But what in the world does it mean 'not time'?!?! SO not cool... It's not like I don't want to die. I've got no plans for after graduation, no real hope, and I just don't care... 'Not time', seriously!!! I can't even kill myself when I have the chance!!!

I'm breaking my safety plan contract... I don't have enough to get as drunk as I want but I'm drinking what I have. And they're not going to know so no worries.

Five wine coolers in less than an hour... I'm sick to my stomach (but refuse to throw up cause I'll lose some alcohol and it's affects in the process) and I feel awful... Want to cut SO bad:crying: want to cut the stitches and re-cut my wrist, deeply, do it right this time:crying:
F**k me:crying:

*goes and is sick*
Well that didn't last long...
Still want to harm SO bad:crying:

F**k me, f**k me, f**k me, f**k me:crying:

oh, poor ally :( please don't cut, remember what you've just told us and what you told yourself - it isn't your time yet hun.

*Checks back in*
Hi everyone. I've just got home from the hospital, and I'm doing okay.
Best wishes to all xxxx

*huggles everyone*

Anyone heard from Carole??

Ally, we certainly don't want to lose you hun :(

I really do not feel like going into college today, so was going to have a day off but I want to see Jane today tho. Maybe I'll have the day off then even though I'm supossed to be attending all my classes for last few weeks.....oh well. I'll see Jane on thursday instead.

I still really want to die.
**** **** ****. :crying:
Everyone, well a couple of people keep telling me I'm amazing.
It's not even true. :nono:
There's one tiny bit that wants the future....
Never mind aye?

We <3 Ally ^_^ lots and lots

We <3 Helen lots and lots ^_^