:'(

*cries and rocks*

Love this idea... check me in!

*takes a blanket and pillow and heads for the corner for cuddles*

Ugh ugh ugh.

*curls up next to Helen & cries & rocks too*

*cuddles April and Silverflame*

*cuddles April, Helen and silverflame*

*cuddles everyone*

Sorry am not being much of a support at the moment. Am in a really bad spot, am trying to talk myself out of it but it's not working worth diddly-bloody-squat.

Just wrote in my r/v thread... just to warn it's an ed/sui trig probaby, if you want to read. Whatever. Don't bother. I'm not that important.

:(

*cuddles oliver, helen, april, silverflame, and quiet1*

Dont remember much of my evening. Gave that speech i guess... i dont remember... apparently it went well so says ppl in my class. Have a massive headache now.

april - you are that important. hang in there hun.

April you are important babe. We all are.

*cuddles everyone*

Want my feet to stop hurting/itching/whatever, I can't stop crying about it (and everything else). I feel like I'm being driven up the walls......

April you are important. *cuddles*

*cuddles Laurastar* I'm glad you did the speech and people said it went ok.

*cuddles Helen* I'm sorry your foot is hurting and things are getting to you.

*hands out some of his happiness, in the hope it might help a bit* I'm here if anyone wants to talk, or anything.

April... I read your thread, I want to hug you so much right now! There's not a lot I can do, but I wish I could.
MammaMia I hope your foot calms down and you're okay

*cuddles everyone*

*hugs and cuddles everyone*
didn't read most of what was posted since i was last here... sorry just not that focusable right now...
april- i read your vent because you are important... and well because it makes me feel less alone in the thinking way... um if that makes any sense at all...
helen- how's the foot doing love?

My feet are giving painful pins&needles now, still feels like a really bad itch. I just want my feet to get better now please?? Also, can everything else get better too please? :'(

*cuddles everyone*

i went to my therapy appt. she kinda helped me get through til now without cutting. that's good. however, i want to cut now. and i don't really have any reason not to. i have so much reason to do it.

we talked about this eval appt for IOP and i could reschedule it if i want to. and i am not sure i want to. i am not sure what i want. most of the time i think i want to be healthy and i just can't. other times i want to be sick and destructive and let myself implode.

right now i am overwhelmed and numbed out. cutting would help. it would help me feel real. getting myself prepared for another night of horribly violent dreams. yay me.


enough about me.
*hugs everyone*
April- so sorry to hear that you are struggling so much. honey, school is tough under any circumstances, not to mention when you have other things going on. you cannot beat yourself up about it because you are comparing yourself to other people who do not have the same struggles as you. you are a good student who works harder than others have to. it sounds like all of this is bringing on your ed thoughts. that's a slippery slope that will be hard to climb back up from. you know that. and as hard as it is to keep your head above water with it, it is best to try.

Laura, good for you for doing your presentation! that's awesome. i know exactly how you feel when the word presentation is attached to an assignment. instant panic. i have actually dropped classes upon seeing the syllabus. One class required a short drive to an elementary school nearby and I dropped it right away. I am impressed that you are able to trudge forward even though you were terrified. it builds character and self-esteem even if you don't remember it!


i have run out of useful things to say.
*head desk*

*cuddles everyone who wants or needs a cuddle then disappears into a dark corner*

Kahlia1981: Don't disappear into a dark corner. Come into the corner of love and cuddles :)
Bring your duvet and pillow!
*cuddles pre-emptively*

Yah, i'm well thx's ppl :-)

How is everybody one doing there?

*gives Kahlia lots of warm hugs*

*cuddles everyone*

Spent 5 hours at A&E today with my housemate. Now really not doing well, but I can't go to hospital until the results of my complaints come through ....

Man, someone just take my head off for a while ... please ???????

*cuddles Kahlia, Laura, quiet1, Crimson, Helen, Jet, SilverFlame, and anyone else I missed (sorry!!)*

Thanks for the support, guys. I still feel crappy about being, well, so dumb about everything. Crimson, I'm glad that you don't feel so alone. And quiet1, you're right in that I oughtn't compare myself to other students who aren't struggling with the same stuff. It's just that it's so difficult... I compare myself constantly, physically & emotionally, & I don't know what to do about it. I don't know how to stop, basically. :(

Jarrod (hubby) stayed home from work today, which was nice... pleasant to have him here. He needed a break from the "idiocy there," as he put it. Lol. Sounds like an ideal workplace... *rolls eyes*

I am exhausted. Got up at 4:30am today. :(

*facepalm*

* Hugs to all who need them *
Back in the real world after having my wedding head on . I got put in charge of the rings! That responsibility plus Lithium meant I was shaking when I gave the rings to the Bride( My lil Sis) and groom . Apart from being nervous I had a good time and am only 3 days away from being 1 month S.I. free , I've bought my bracelet in readiness:) It' will be a milestone for me . I'm feeling really positive :) I hope you are all doing well :D