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-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

shadowedseraph 13-07-2009 01:26 PM

*hugs zowie* good luck on getting out and i agree third times the charm for that pub :)

*hugs BigBear* be brave and tell her what happened im sure she'll be understanding

*hugs to all others on the ward*

What i want to know is how come i dont feel any better, i've been like this for a month now and its just not happening *curls up in a corner and bangs head into the wall*

zowie 13-07-2009 01:44 PM

**** **** ****. I was meant to go for an interview at the Jobcentre at 11:30 to discuss keeping my JSA. I've missed it. I'm praying they'll let me do it when I go to sign on later, if not I'm going to be turned down for the next two weeks' payments.

shadowedseraph 13-07-2009 03:28 PM

*hugs zowie* keep calm hunny, explain to them how difficult it is to leave the house and how your feeling at the moment and im sure you'll be ok *more hugs*

Eclectica 13-07-2009 04:02 PM

Today... I'm just not here, I don't think. But the good news is I actually slept last night, though I was in a bit of a mild panic attack all night for no reason, I don't think, unless it was about the past few days. I'm still scared n ****.

I've also stopped eating so much. So I'm trying to stop being so unfit.

Strawberry.Bananas 13-07-2009 04:03 PM

*crawls back in and hides under blanket in a dark corner*

zowie 13-07-2009 05:23 PM

Phew. I called them up and explained, and they gave me an appointment at 2:30. I got there in time, had the interview and singed on.
One downside: Went to the pub with the vacancy and she said it was filled at the weekend! Arrrghh! I went there twice to be told the landlord wasn't there, but not to worry as the applications close on the 20th. I feel really paranoid that she just looked at me and said the position was filled because she didn't like the look of me.

CrazyHayley 13-07-2009 06:52 PM

Hey all, sorry but I'm not up to individual replies, but I wanted to partake in a group hug and let you know I am paying attention to whats going on. My day of rest and hoping to reduce my M.E symptoms today didn't go according to plan as my best mate needed me to help her find out what spirit was in her flat -and not an alcoholic one! lol. So thats drained me. Anyhoo, got to visit family tomorrow so hopefully I'll be bag giving hugs and happy and recharged on wed....til then.....


shadowedseraph 13-07-2009 07:08 PM

*hugs Ecelctica* hope you get more sleep soon honey

*hugs vicki* whats up sweetie?

*hugs zowie* glad everything went ok at the js! sorry to hear about the pub, i dont think it was you though.

*joins in crazy haley's group huggle* hope you enjoy time with your family :)


I'm in a s****y mood my voices are back with avengance i can't seem to shake my depression and i want to cut. I think my parents are getting fed up with me

shadowedsoul 13-07-2009 07:56 PM

argh!!!!! ****sake i give up. what the hell is the point. might as well be dead.

Damnation. 13-07-2009 09:13 PM


Originally Posted by zowie (Post 1744381)
Dayna - What have you done before that has stopped the void? If you've gone a long time without being spacey, there must be something you've done to stop it? Keep fighting.

Well when I'm not spacey, I ain't really fighting it. Dunno how to describe it. I only really have to concentrate on fighting it when I do feel spacey. Does that make any sense? :/

shadowedsoul 13-07-2009 10:24 PM

damnit i want to cut, cant resits the urges this time, why the hell do i have be so tempmental, and so argumentive, damn me, jill you are a frigging screw up. quit being so god dam bitchy. argh!!!! i hate me so much. cries

Kahlia1981 13-07-2009 11:34 PM

*hugs all*

Hi everybody. Sorry I've been so quiet recently but I've been unable to type due to the shoulder surgery. I'm now allowed to move my arm a little bit and have been pushing the boundaries and learning what my shoulder can do. At this stage I cannot do anything that requires lifting my arm. On the good side next week on Monday I should get my cast off for good, of course depending on the results of the x-ray. Getting the x-ray is going to be a painful experience as it requires them to place my arm in several positions that will put my shoulder in positions it doesn't like. If I don't get my cast put back on I'm going to miss my glow-in-the-dark wrist.

I had a really bad day a little while back when I received from the police a letter and a fine for the car accident I had when I had a seizure while driving. For the first time in almost 11 months I felt like cutting. I very nearly did cut but somehow managed to get through with the help of my flatmates. We have decided that I should contest the fine through the court system because the accident was caused by a medical condition and I was not in control of my own body and therefore the accident was out of my control.

I'm sorry for writing so much about myself and not replying to everybody individually but know that I am thinking of you all and I read as much as I can. I hope that things improved to everybody.

*goes around to everybody in the ward, even those hiding in corners and in the the smoking corner and also in the denial tent, and gives them a nice warm hug and leaves behind hot chocolates for those in the cold climate and nice cold drinks for those suffering from heat issues.*

~Kaytee~ 14-07-2009 05:14 AM

Well good news. I get to do the essay so I won't fail :D So I will be popping in but won't be posting much. I get till Monday to do it :D And it's great coz I'm seeing a friend on Thursday whos course kinda overlaps so I'm going to ask if I can borrow some books.

Kahlia don't be sorry about writing about yourself. Hope you can get the cast off :D and I hope its healing alright :) Well done for not cutting :D *cuddles* you've done so well :D Take care of yourself!

Kahlia1981 14-07-2009 05:39 AM

Katie - that's good news about the essay. I hope you do well. I also hope my arm is healing right ...

PapaBear 14-07-2009 08:15 AM

I've been camping with my horses for the past couple days, as a birthday gift to myself, and as a way to unwind from all the stresses at home and at work. Viejo and Charlie really enjoyed getting out of the paddock and I enjoyed just getting out and being with nothing but the two of them.

Been kind of on the manic side of happy, but pretty good and stable otherwise.

*MASSIVE HUGS to everyone, and positive energies as well*

Kahlia1981 14-07-2009 11:41 AM


Originally Posted by theycallmejazz (Post 1746116)
I've been camping with my horses for the past couple days, as a birthday gift to myself, and as a way to unwind from all the stresses at home and at work. Viejo and Charlie really enjoyed getting out of the paddock and I enjoyed just getting out and being with nothing but the two of them.

Been kind of on the manic side of happy, but pretty good and stable otherwise.

*MASSIVE HUGS to everyone, and positive energies as well*

That sounds like a lot of fun. Thanks for the hugs and positive energy, I really need both right now.

*hugs all*

zowie 14-07-2009 01:00 PM

I will spend the day in the smoking shelter *nods* Care to join me Hayley?

This afternoon I'm having a BBQ with my dad and sister nomnomnom

MammaMia 14-07-2009 03:44 PM

Sorry I haven't been around much this past week, I've been so poorly. I came home yesterday, two days later than orginally planned but it gave me & Jade the opportunity to get out the house and do some of what was orginally planned (but not set in stone) when dicussing the trip anyway.

However, I've been crying pretty much nearly every waking moment since Friday afternoon, well evening. Poor Jade must be so sick of it, I know I am, it's beginning to send me in asthma/panic attacks now :S I almost got to the point of cutting last night (despite having not done it in nearly two weeks) just to shut myself up and sleep. Really really struggling to sleep at the moment, espically last night, but then I was trying to sleep at 10.30, something my body hasn't done in so long. But I am so exhausted. Although I was asleep around 12.30am and slept until nearly 11am, even if I woke couple of times during the night.

Still really poorly and very low. So fed up of it now. Doesn't help certain things either. Just shoot me? Or give me a new body until mine feels healthy again???? I haven't eaten a full dinner, let alone a proper one, since last Sunday (not two days ago, but the one before that). I miss it. I tried last night with garlic bread, pizza & potato waffles, barely ate it and lost my temper with mum.

I'm so ****ing frusrated to the point I'm crying...AGAIN!!!!

CrazyHayley 14-07-2009 04:52 PM

*hands Helen big box of tissues* Oh sweetie, its horrid when you feel so ill and can't stop crying. I know I wonder how I don't dehydrate from all the tears somehow. Wish I could wave magic wand for you to make you better, but instead you'll have to settle for a huggle *huggles Helen*

Kahlia - good news on the progress on your shoulder so far, was wondering where you'd gotten to! Thats so shitty the police sedning you a fine for something that was out of your control!! Its not like you thought "oh I'm gonna have a seizure in a lil bit, so I think I'll go out in my car and cause a crash" stupid stupid police fine system. I'm glad your flatmates were there to help you through the urges to cut, well done on overcoming them! *huggles*

*huggles Shadowseraph* glad you liked the group huggle. I didn't end up seeing family today as staying clear of the town they live in as Swine Flu has just killed a man there!! And my father works in the hospital and my immune system is comprimised, so I really don't fancy taking my chances, life seems to have it in for me enough without me putting myself into situations like that, lol!!! Hope the voices have quietened down now and I'm sure you're parents aren't getting fed up of you at all. Hang in there.

*huggles ShadowedSoul* I hope you've stayed safe. Please don't hate yourself and punish yourself with cutting (though I know I've done that a thousand times over, so easier said than done) but we in here don't hate you and we don't want you to be unsafe. Talk to us and we may be able to help? Or if its a lot thats going on, perhaps start a thread or go into distractions?

*huggles dayna/todlich* hope you're feeling less spacey now. And can I just say, what do you want to be called now? Have you changed your name?! Cos I'm sure you were dayna but now you're todlich? CrazyHayley is confuzzled....

*huggles Katie* Glad the pickle with your essay got sorted out. We'll look forward to you posting more again once you've completed the assignment. Hope it goes ok for you. What are you studying by the way?

*huggles Jazz* I'm glad you had a safe couple of days away with your horses, sounds like it did you the world of good. I'm pleased for you.

*goes out to the smoking shelter to find Arwen for a fag and a huggle*

zowie 14-07-2009 04:55 PM

*Smokes and hugs Hayley*

Kahlia1981 14-07-2009 06:01 PM

*hugs all*

YodaBearInterrupted 14-07-2009 06:01 PM

*sits in the corner*

I don't want to go to the psych... blah. *huggles to everyone in here*

Eclectica 14-07-2009 06:07 PM

I iwsh the core hadn't done that damane, I still feel bad and my arm is in agony

lolly_x 14-07-2009 06:11 PM

i'm fed up...
i'm tired i'm run down i can't talk
i can't say whats wrong
the past is coming back with me and i hate it
suppose meet will be good tomorow :)
11 of us going so its all cool

but i still feel all shitty. i wanna scream

lolly_x 14-07-2009 06:25 PM

oh yeh i wanna cut but yet have not done it in 4 months nearly

MammaMia 14-07-2009 06:46 PM

*wishes she give you all hugs but doesn't want to pass whatever she's got onto you all*

Thanks for the hugs though Hayley :) It's a wonder I've not fallen into dehydration again (was VERY dehydrated on thursday) from all the crying. Have cried today, but not so much which is a start righht???

<runs into denial tent and says everything's finnnnnnne>

lolly_x 14-07-2009 06:53 PM

i'll probably end up crying by the nights over and crying by annoy me greatly i'm sick and tired of everything going on. i just want at least one good thing to happen supposably it will be tomorow where i can show my fake smiles off to a good lot of people...!!!!! college show round tomorow and i'm scared shitless...

shadowedseraph 14-07-2009 08:50 PM

*hugs haley* thanks for the huggles sweetheart i hope you are keeping ok!

*hugs MamaMia* i'm not afraid of your germs :)

*hugs lolly_x* 4 months nearly without cutting is a huge acheivement you should be proud ! i'm sure you'll manage the college tour thing just take deep breaths and tell yourself you can do this (hypocrit i know)

Damnation. 14-07-2009 10:50 PM


Originally Posted by CrazyHayley (Post 1746863)
*huggles dayna/todlich* hope you're feeling less spacey now. And can I just say, what do you want to be called now? Have you changed your name?! Cos I'm sure you were dayna but now you're todlich? CrazyHayley is confuzzled....

Not official/legal name change. Just feels like who I used to be's faded away/died/whatever, so I call mysel Tödlich now. Seems more fitting. Not been spacey today thankfully, but super depressed instead. Bleck D:

*Safe hugs to Kx and everyone else in the ward*

Kahlia1981 15-07-2009 07:20 AM

*sends safe hugs to everyone she can find*

PapaBear 15-07-2009 09:47 AM

I see that a bunch of people aren't doing too great today, so before I send another round of hugs, love, and positive energy, I want to share part of a letter I received from a very dear friend today. I put it in a new thread in the distractions board, but I don't know if all of you look there, so I'll cross-post it here. I feel as though it applies to everyone, not just the youngsters on their way to adulthood, and not just people who SH, but those who just struggle to reach the dawn of each new day.

Growing up in this dangerous world is full of surprises, and is a very difficult thing.
How will you ever live up to the promise of what the future holds? You've shown by example that you will overcome life's obstacles, and you are growing up to be the wonderful person that you should be.

I encourage you to accept every challenge with hope and strength, and to always do your best. Set goals. Be truthful to others and yourself, and try to forgive. Through love you will live and move on. Take on adventures with your chin lifted and your eyes open wide. To steady the journey, enjoy the ride and not just the destination. Seek passion, love, inner beauty, and self acceptance. Keep dreams and loved ones close to your heart.

Please celebrate failures with just one more try. I promise you can do anything you set your mind to. Be in control. Remember all the great things in life that money can't buy. Give back to the earth more than you take. A radiant smile from you is all that anyone asks.

Through heartbreak, pain, and experience you will be able to learn from everything, and help others as well. Be childlike, laugh often, and never turn back. Feel free to cry whenever you need to. Tears are the heart's way of bringing relief. No one will ask questions when you've made up your mind. Keep your foot firmly on the ground. Listen to your heart, and you will never go wrong. Above all, remember that love never dies.

Then at the end, as you walk your last mile, looking back on your life with a well-earned smile ... Recall all the faces that helped light the way. Give thanks for their love, and remember each day that you are unique & loved very much. You may not believe it, but someone is always thinking of you, and hoping you're alright. If you have doubts, please think of me. You share my passions, dreams, and love of life. Keep that smile on your face that I love, and never change who you are for anyone or anything. You are special just because you are you, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

I just wanted you to know that I care, and you have my love. Thank you for being you, and remember:
you will always have my shoulder to cry on, my ears to listen, and my heart to care.

And now, I send you all my love, give everyone several *MASSIVE HUGS*, and send all the positive energies I have (which after reading that letter, is a LOT of positivity) and leave a large tray of sweets and pastries, and several pots of various kinds of tea and hot chocolate. There's a pile of fresh pillows and blankets under the serving table for anyone who wants them.

Be safe, be strong, and know that I love you all dearly.:kiss: :satisfied:

zowie 15-07-2009 11:23 AM

Thanks for sharing Jazz :)

I'm going to see Harry Potter today. Woop!

Hope everyone's okay.
*Leaves hugs for everyone*

shadowedsoul 15-07-2009 11:32 AM

thanks for the hugs hayley. hmm really treid to stay safe, didnt happen tho, and now were i cut is a mess again. not sure what set it all off, no matter what i did that day. it went wrong.from things going wrong at work, noithing would go right that day. hugs jazz,that made me smile,thank you hun.

MammaMia 15-07-2009 01:58 PM

I'm sooooooooo bored out of my skull of being ill :'[

shadowedseraph 15-07-2009 04:21 PM

*hugs jazz* thats lovely :) whoever wrote that must be a dear friend

*hugs zowie* you'll have to tell me what its like it looks awesome

*hugs shadowedsoul* we all slip up and having a bad day is trigger enough, keep trying though *more hugs*

*hugs MammaMia* I know that feeling well

shadowedsoul 15-07-2009 06:49 PM

argh!!!! i cant do this tonight im so stressed, goes to a corner puts a blanket over my head and hide, starts shaking. im not here, jill not here.

wildly insane 15-07-2009 07:24 PM

*hugs everybody* me, busy busy bee and tired, shattered. Just found out today I have another interview, on the same day as the one I already have - doh. Sorry so many people can't individual reply to everyone as I've been gone for a few days but I really want to hug you all and hope that things get better, take care guys :)

zowie 15-07-2009 10:06 PM

Harry Potter was good. Obviously not as good as the book, but it was pretty true to it. Little bit rushed.

I'm desperate for a drink. I just bought a bottle of wine, but I have a new rule that I'm not allowed to drink unless someone is drinking with me.
I may have to break the rule...

Kahlia1981 16-07-2009 02:26 AM

*hugs all*

Sorry for the lack of individual replies, but I'm typing one-handed.

soz 16-07-2009 03:13 AM

** knocks **

can i come in? :notsure:

Kahlia1981 16-07-2009 07:51 AM

soz: Come on in. The ward is open to all.

*hugs everyone*

wildly insane 16-07-2009 10:14 AM

wow, I come back and it seems like everyone walks out Lol :P

welcome in Soz, *offers warm cuppa and ginger cake*

*hugs Arwen* how's the drinkage going?

*hugs Kahlia* hope your wrist gets better soon

*hugs Kat, Todlich, Jill, Katie, Secrets, Jem, Vicki, HannahBanana, Shadowedseraph, Jazz, Lolly, Helen, Yoda, Hayley, Cheryl and anyone else hiding in a corner somewhere* hope you're okay

I'm a bit bleh this morning, but really do have to get off my arse and do stuff :P Wish I was my cat and able to curl up on my bed all day without a care in the world about it.

youonlyliveonce 16-07-2009 10:24 AM

hugs wlidly insane i know wat u mean about curling up like a cat wud be so nice. nething i can do to help

hugs to everyone else hope your ok sorry havent be around been struggling big time.

Kahlia1981 16-07-2009 10:24 AM

*hugs everyone*

Hannah ~ I hope so too (my wwrist)

wildly insane 16-07-2009 10:32 AM

*hugs cheryl back* I'm okay really, thanks though, just finding it difficult to motivate myself, it looks like it's going to bucket down on my run *shrugs*. Sorry to hear you're struggling, ditto back, if there's anything I can do to help, just say.

shadowedseraph 16-07-2009 01:49 PM

*hugs everyone* i'm so tired wish i could sleep properly

*hugs soz* welcome to the ward

*grabs a blanket and retreats to a corner*

zowie 16-07-2009 01:56 PM

*Hugs Kahlia back* I bet your wrist is reeeally getting on your nerves by now! Hope it gets better soon.

*Waves to Soz* Welcome, make yourself at home :)

*Hugs Hana* Sorry to hear you're feeling bleh, have you managed to get round to doing anything?

*Hugs Seraph and sings lullabies*


I managed to get my dad to have a beer while I had a couple of glasses of wine. Managed to stop after that though, and therefore have about half a bottle left for tonight.
Going to the pub in a bit, my friend has been working lates all week so we reckon we should go for a drink now that it's over.
My dad is winding me up. But it's not a big deal, he always gets like this when he's working.

[Fog] 16-07-2009 02:49 PM

ARRRRRGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH *bangs head against the wall*

Stupid f*cking mental health services. When I say things are terrifying and getting loads worse then why would they not set up help NOW instead of in a few weeks time?!

I'm f*cking terrified. All this switching all the time. It's escalating and I'm sh*tting myself. What if I switch in Co-Op and hurt someone or trash everything and get arrested and get sectioned?

I don't want to get f*cking admitted again but that's the way it's going and I don't f*cking want that.

I hate myself I hate my head I hate my life

shadowedseraph 16-07-2009 08:07 PM

*hugs zowie* i hope you managed to have a nice time at the pub

*hugs banana* Don't hate yourself for something that is out of your control *more hugs*

Damnation. 16-07-2009 08:34 PM

Housemate's going back into hospital two weeks tomorrow. Pre-cancerous cells were found around the tumour.


*Hugs all*

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