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-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

Jetforce 26-04-2008 08:03 AM

Sorry guys...i've been hiding for quite some time...

more often than not i've been sleeping oops..but yeah, i'm okies :)

*hugs every1 who has entered the psych ward and brings some cake for u to munch on*

Question thread chloe?? huh?

Oh well...back i go to my uni work, lots of stuff to do in very little amount of time :-S

effervescence 26-04-2008 09:59 AM

"for fun....check to see if it's you v2"

l'il esky 26-04-2008 06:09 PM

can i hibernate in here away from my brain???? :(

MammaMia 26-04-2008 06:39 PM

Yeah sure, welcome hun :)

Arrrgh I'm stressing.

chocostashchick 26-04-2008 07:31 PM

*hugs you all*

Pomegranate 26-04-2008 09:00 PM

I want to cry and be all selfish and self destruct. I am actually debating whether I could cut and get to a+e and stitched whilst my nan sleeps. I am pretty sure I cant but might be worth a try? *sits and cries* My MH co-ordinator promised to email me as soon as the meeting was over and she didn't she broke it. And now stupidly, I know, I hate her, like am really stupidly upset with her. I know it is ridiculous to be so upset with someone I barely know who hasn't done anything but I cant help it. Why can't I be left alone to destruct?

Detour. Derail 26-04-2008 09:28 PM

Hi.
I hate hospitals :]
I hate stupid ****ing porters who think they are better than me because i ask for the MENTAL HEALTH Unit....
YES I HAVE A ****ING PROBLEM.DEAL WITH IT :]
I hate stupid crisis team people who dont think theres anything wrong with me :]
Maybe...I'll prove it to you and tak another OD....but this time...a bigger one...:]
And then...I'll hurt myself sooooooooooo bad you'll be stitching me back together :]
I hate you. You're a bitch. You know NOTHING about my life. **** off ok?:]

*cries*
Don't make me go back >.<
Please guys....I can't
*rocks*

MammaMia 26-04-2008 09:58 PM

*hugs everyone*

Ales & Em. Please don't pushg the destruct button. I know I'm being hyprocritical because I want to do the same. But the three of us know deep down its not worth it.

I wish I was better at helping people, let alone me.

I'm so so so tired, physically, mentally and emotionally. I have to work tomorrow. I'm looking forward to seeing Charl, Will, Lou, Tania & Laura cus they're great. But everyone is gonna ask me what happened to my hand. I can lie I know. But what lie? I don't want to lie to such great people. But I can't say oh yeah I did it. So what. Oh well. Today's one of those days I hate working for the sodding public. I swear to gwad, at least one customer upsets me every time. If the other shift was anything to go by then I'm gonna be a wreck. Last time I had to manage the tills on my own all day nearly. The reason why we have THREE staff on the tills so that nobody if left alone. Because ONE person cannot manage to deal with customers, phone calls and stuff when they dont have much knoweldge of some things grr grr.

I'm scared.

I just want to die again. Great. Great. Nothing's going to get better. Things finally are starting to feel real.

*hides in a corner with Alex and with Charlie & Millie.*

Detour. Derail 26-04-2008 10:53 PM

*hides her face with Helen and Charlie and Millie*
*goes to be sick*
I should stop drinking ><

MammaMia 26-04-2008 11:11 PM

You should hun. Please don't drink anymore.

I really want to die. Everything feels real again. Things haven't felt real since that friday. Oh. Work tomorrow. Whatever.

I'm gonna die soon.

Detour. Derail 26-04-2008 11:40 PM

Then you ar the complete opposite of me hun :/
NOTHING feels real...
I shouldn't be alive...
but I can't die...
people keep getting in the way :/
It probably sounds nice...to not feel real...
but its awful :/

MammaMia 27-04-2008 12:09 AM

I feel that way.
I just meant the suidicial feeling finally feels real again.
I dunno what to do about work :(

Ileana 27-04-2008 01:39 AM

To say I'm suicidal right now is an understatement.
I won't do it though, but gods is it tempting.

Katey-lou 27-04-2008 01:41 AM

i've had anough, i really cant do this anymore!!! can i just go now, no 1 will care or notice that i'm gone n e way. i'm just causing people way to much hurt and thats not fair. :crying:

MammaMia 27-04-2008 02:12 AM

*hugs everyone*

I don't know what to say other than I know how you two are feeling. xxx

~*forever_broken*~ 27-04-2008 02:37 AM

*hugs everyone*
Good lord we're all a mess aren't we? I feel crap... And am planing on masking it with two bottles of wine and a razor blade:pinch:

*continues her drinking*

effervescence 27-04-2008 02:56 AM

we are all a mess. *hugs*

this morning i realised that everyone is going to be able to see my latest cut. why couldn't i have realised that last night?? why?

are lollipops a safe food?

alexx, well done for going to the hosp. ignore the stupid porters. they don't know anything.

~*forever_broken*~ 27-04-2008 03:46 AM

F**kF**kF**kF**kF**k!!!!!

Two bottles of wine down... And I feel worse than I did when I started.
*shrug*
Now it's time for my razor... I'll be careful y'all, I promise...

But... I WOULD like to die:crying:

Ileana 27-04-2008 03:50 AM

Hahahahaha my non-mother just told me she wished the lump on my neck was actually a tumor so I'd die. She's wishing "horrible" things on me right now...oh, the laughs, doesn't she know that I would love for this lump to be caner so I'd die? Doesn't she know that nothing more horrible than her abuse can happen to me because such a thing doesn't even exist? She's just so hilarously ignorant.

~*forever_broken*~ 27-04-2008 04:48 AM

Sh*t!!!!! I cut too deep and blood started spurting, like, really spurting:crying: I'm currently waiting in a room at hospital wishing for one of two things:
1) You really COULD die of embarrassment
2) Christ would come and I'd be gone so none of this would matter:crying:
Good G*d, what a f**k up I am:crying:

effervescence 27-04-2008 05:47 AM

oh no ally :( i'm glad your at the hospital getting it sorted though. hope you are okay. this doesn't make you a **** up or a bad person hun, you're just struggling but the main thing is you are sensible and went and got it looked at.

~*forever_broken*~ 27-04-2008 08:11 AM

Thanks Cloe. I'm stitched up and home. I'd got the bleeding stopped but when he gave me a shot to numb it it started to spurt again:pinch::crying: he had to tie it off:ermm:. I talked with a gal from mental health and her boss is going to call me tomorrow... Hopefully he doesn't decide I need to go to a psych hospital. I've got my regularly scheduled therapy session on Monday so it's not like I'm going to be out of contact with members of the mental health profession any time in the next few days...
*sigh* it really was an accident... I didn't mean to cut that deep.
*crawls in to the denial tent and settles in with her blanket, stuffed lamb, water bottle -hydration is key- and cat (here's Bat everyone) and tries to sleep off the booze*

MammaMia 27-04-2008 08:44 AM

*HUGS everyone lots*

Glad you went to A&E Ally.

I beter go coutinune getting ready for work. Godamm.

shadow.princess 27-04-2008 09:40 AM

and Im back again.....


existance failure!


I feel like crap, I want to cut and purge and I cant deal with the thought of having to go back to school

Im sorry

effervescence 27-04-2008 09:57 AM

hi sarah.
don't be sorry.
i don't want to start uni lectures again either. i have an exam on saturday and currently can't make myself start studying for it.
how is therapy going ally? does it help?

Yellow 27-04-2008 03:28 PM

think i need to stay here for a while. need a break.
*snuggles everyone*
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

~*forever_broken*~ 27-04-2008 04:11 PM

*emerges from the Denial Tent and snuggles everyone*
Hi Yellow, this is a good place for a break. Check out the Denial Tent if you'd like... Place where all your problems don't exist. Pretty great.*massive hugs*

Hi Sarah, same goes for you, the tents pretty awesome. Please don't be sorry. Please, just try (and I know it's hard) to hang in there. I noticed you were saying 'I WANT' and not 'I HAVE'. Good for you hun, that takes a lot of strength. Just try and keep it up, one second at a time. *hugs*

Helen, Cloe, how goes it gals?*snuggles*

Me? My wrist aches like none other :-( Six stitches. I'm supposed to get a call from MH this morning... Hoping they don't decide I need to be in hospital:crying:. I'm really ok... And then my regularly scheduled therapy tomorrow.*sigh* I've got a lot of explaining to do...

*goes back into the denial tent and tries to make it all go away*

MammaMia 27-04-2008 06:49 PM

*hugs everyone lots* :)

Ugh. I'm suidicial still. I somehow didn't cut last night cus of work. Tonight however....I may do so. Dunno yet tbh. Arrrgh I got asked THREE times today. Two customers and Charl suggested a very good lie (I wonder if she knew hmm) and then a collegue. I half ignored her and my dad sorta answered by saying yeah to her question "did you do it"....some people are so judgemental :(

*crawls into tent and pretends life doesnt happen*

Jetforce 27-04-2008 08:51 PM

blah....i feel like ****

i haven't slept all nite ugh and i got uni in 2 hrs time or something...great!!! I'm going look like a zombie lol...

Oh well, i hope every1 is okies
*huge hugs for ppl in the psych ward*

MammaMia 27-04-2008 09:09 PM

*huge hugs for yoooou*

I hope uni goes okay today hun. It's still sunday here lol.

~*forever_broken*~ 27-04-2008 09:50 PM

Finally heard from MH. Accidentally lied to the guy:pinch: when he asked me about suicidal thoughts, whether or not I'd had any today I said no... That was actually one big fat lie but I totally didn't lie intentionally. The truth is I've thought about it quite a bit, transiently, like a whisper, but the feelings behind it are... I don't know... Sad... Somber... Something... But not really good. Damn.

*hugs Jeremy and Helen*
Hope uni goes well for you Jeremy, and I hope you manage to get some sleep tonight.*massive hugs*

Helen I'm sorry you're feeling so bad, please see if you can wait it out *snuggles*

chocostashchick 27-04-2008 11:05 PM

i love you guys

chocostashchick 27-04-2008 11:06 PM

like seriously i do you are all awesome
*hugs*

squiggles 27-04-2008 11:14 PM

*Hugs*
Care about you all, you're problems make mine seem so small and insignificant.
*Hugs to everyone*
It's great to have you all as friends, you help me keep my life in perspective.
Here to talk if anyone wants to, feel free to PM me.
Liz

MammaMia 28-04-2008 12:40 AM

I see Ally XD

I seriously love you all guys aswell. I know I can come here, be understood and gauranteed a reply, even just hugs...:)

I managed to wait it out til 10 mins ago, and then the itch was too much and the urge tbh. I have to get off this road and back onto the other. I need to heal something...

I'm still upset by earlier.

shadow.princess 28-04-2008 01:01 AM

*cries* so over this...

MammaMia 28-04-2008 01:35 AM

*hugs* Wanna talk?

effervescence 28-04-2008 01:52 AM

RACHEL!!!!!!!!!! Why hello there, how are you doing?
You've found my little RYL hidey-hole :p i practically live in the psych ward....(dunno if that's good but oh well).

Hi to everyone.

I have an exam soon and I'm slightly freaking out. Also my latest cut really hurts :'( *idiot*

Alexx, are you around? Haven't seen you for a while....

*walks around the denial tent calling for Alexx and leaves lemon muffins that were at lunch today but I couldn't have :( *

Jetforce 28-04-2008 05:26 AM

No sleep for me...survivng on coffee lol

Oh well..life goes on..meh

~*forever_broken*~ 28-04-2008 06:49 AM

Ugh, I don't want to go to my therapy session tomorrow. I've half a mind to just not show up but then I'd be in trouble not only with the uni health and counseling folks but with MH who said they were going to call and make sure I make my appointment tomorrow:crying: How stupid is that? And I don't want to go because I'm afraid I'll say the wrong thing or too much (like 'wow, your wrist really IS an effective place to cut'):pinch: and I'm just feeling weird, like, not real... And I don't like it...
*hugs everyone, passes around a loaded tea tray and retreats to the denial tent to hide under her blanket with her stuffed lamb and cat*

Jetforce 28-04-2008 08:02 AM

*hugs ally*

I dunno what to say to u....since i'm 1/2 braindead atm..but yeah, plz look after urself there!!!

How is every1 else? *throws some mashmellows at u*

MammaMia 28-04-2008 08:12 AM

How is Emma, Carole, Alex and anyone else I've missed doing??? Check in guys please :(

Crap. I've got to go all the frigging way to Birmingham, to one of the hospitals, just to get two packets of hearing aid batteries. I just got a really bad feeling about this trip because of my hand, doesn't look too bad. I'm just stuipd. Heh, had bad dreams again all morning. Not nice :(

I'm considering taking the entire day off at the moment, I only have two lessons today, one of which I'll probs end up missing all of. The other, I really need to be in it. But I hate my teacher. Sod that Helen, you can do it :) I might come back here after getting my batteries lol, and stay til I have to go for my last class of today. Anyway, we'll see what happens.

effervescence 28-04-2008 09:02 AM

my wrist hurts. it's not bad. but i got a bad mark for my psych report and then i ate dinner AND dessert. so yes, i am that sad, i cut because of those. i actually tried not to, i really did. but nothing else made it all go away.

MammaMia 28-04-2008 09:11 AM

*hugs effervescence*

It's okay hun :) My hand kills aswell, so I know how you feel. Right, I should really get going soon. It's going to take long enough to get over there (bus!), without making it any later hehe. I then have to try and remember my way around, cus it's a very long walk passing several departments, fun fun. I only want batteries =\

Katey-lou 28-04-2008 10:57 AM

hey everyone, sorry i didnt check back in last night after the post i left lat sat night/sun morning. i dissapeared for a while, wasnt thinking about what i did i just wanted to hide and i went missing. i got found at silly oclock this morning, so yeah not feeling too good right now. i'm just waiting for my CPN to ring me back. am sat at home on my own wich probably isnt a good thing right now so i hope she rings soon coz i cant go much longer trying to avoid doing what i feel like doing. :(

Pomegranate 28-04-2008 11:22 AM

*hugs everyone*

I am doing ok, at least I was I think. I am tired but I managed this weekend looking after my nan. I feel so sorry for her though, I hate Parkinsons and Cancer, she cant do anything and she's so depressed :(.

Now I am panicking because in 20 minutes I will get my last set of stitches out and then have no more left in me. This should not be a panic situation but it is and I am already contemplating saying '**** it' to the essay I *have* to do today and getting drunk after the appointment to make sure I have more stitches. Must wait till midday though.

Detour. Derail 28-04-2008 02:38 PM

Hi guys.
I have a KILLER headache...due to the fact I comfort ate myself INTO OBLIVION and now would REALLY like to feel empty again...even though I'm coming down off the sugar rush :pinch:
I had a hospital appointment on Saturday...and when I came away...I made the most important decision that I can manage at the moment....

I.Am.NEVER.Going.Back.





Ever.


She hates me :blink:

MammaMia 28-04-2008 03:55 PM

*hugs everyone lots and lots*

I suprise myself. I really do. I went upto hospital and managed all of that fine (yaaaay) and stuff. Got on bus back to Solihull, and then a switch flicked on near to Solihull. I then knew I HAD to sit in a train station, wtf? So that's what I did, had to fight temptations off to throw myself three times...but yeah...I told my counsellor already =\ So yeah I'm stuipdly suidicial....and she wants me to hold onto my postive thoughts bit...okay. I'm scared. Wanna cut more now :(

chocostashchick 29-04-2008 03:18 AM

*HUGGLES*

i hope everybody is okay

i send you all SMURFS

do you remember the Smurfs? la la la la la la la la la la la
okay well they had a lala song that is hard to type but it was so catchy and clever and they were blue and skipped about
great cartoon that was
we had it here in the USA i wonder if you had it in the UK and aussie
you should youtube it or google it or something and have popcorn and watch it in the DENIAL TENT it would be great!
what an awesome idea i have just had!!

effervescence 29-04-2008 03:19 AM

we had the smurfs. they were cool.

ok so i copied and pasted from my other thread cos im too lazy to tell it again:

i had to go to my anatomy lab today. where we were stimulating nerves on arms and wrists and hands. requiring me to show mine to my lab partner. with scars and one-day-old cuts on my hand and both wrists. she even mentioned the one on my hand before we started, asking how i managed to cut it that badly (as in accidentally cut it that badly). luckily i had a good story sorted for that one. but yes. effective story kinda ruined by the ones on my wrists.
**** **** ****. my partner lives in the same hall as me. what if she TELLS someone??


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