-hugs oliver- No problem. If you need to rant feel free to PM me. Goes for you too, Solo. Or you can talk here, either way.



I don't want to be alone right now. Is that pathetic?

thanks Kitty, same to you and all the wardies.

thats not pathetic Kitty *hugs*

-hugs oliver- I'm kinda scared of myself. :(

*hugs Kitty* please stay safe.
Try to distract yourself, some music, watch something, read.

It's not pathetic at all kitty! I totally understand not wanting to be alone!

It's so sweet of you to offer support to me when you're going through such a tough time yourself! Thanks! *hugs*

-hugs oliver- I'm trying to distract myself. But Amara is not being nice. She's being louder than the show I'm trying to watch.

-hugs solo- That's just the type of person I am. I will always be that way. I'm just sorry I'm not able to be more help.

I don't know what to do with myself. I'm so fidgety because I am so triggered. I am getting to the point where I can't even focus on my distractions anymore. I am scared. I wish I could just go to the hospital...I know I would be safe there...but I can't afford to.

*sits with Kitty, if ok* *squises* please stay safe and concentrate on your distractions

-hugs her knees and rocks back and forth- I'm trying. But I'm losing my concentration. I'm having problems with dissociation again. I really want to cut and my tools are not too far from me. They are not in reach but they are in this room and I can easily get them. And I probably wouldn't even notice. Most of the time when I cut it's when I am dissociating any more. -sinks into herself-

try and focus on small things, smells, touch, just little things which can keep you grounded.

its 5.30am i'm going to try get a few hours sleep.
night Solo and Kitty *hugs*

Kitty please stay safe, I'm always here if you need me. *extra big hugs*

Night oliver sleep tight.. -hugs-

Sorry Oliver and Kitty! I had to be away n now I really have to try to get some sleep. You should do the same kitty. Please stay safe hun!

-hugs solo- night night. Sleep tight. I can't sleep yet. Even if I take my meds and go to sleep I will be up before the sun being as it is only 10:21 pm here. I usually don't go to bed until like 1 am or later.

Me too, but it's 1:24 here.

-hugs again- sleep well solo. Thank you for sitting with me.

Night kitty *hugs you goodnight* I'm happy to sit with you any time!

Gunna try going to bed now. Just remembered I have to be up kinda sorta early in the morning. Night everyone (even though I am here all by myself right now anyway just thought I'd say so anyway).

-hugs ward-

*Hugs Kitty*
*Hugs Lia*
*Hugs Crimson*
*Hugs Sarah*
*Hugs Oliver*
*Hugs Solo*

Oh the hassle of getting out of bed , Now I have to put my washing away and I don't know how I feel . Numb I guess . Still I feel a bit better than yesterday morning which Is a plus :) Numb is better than depressed definatly , even though it's far from perfect and can grind me down on its own .
It's raining but I need some exercise so I'm going for a walk .

Good mornin Mark. Thanks for the hug! *hugs ya back*

*Hugs everybody*
Morning guys.

Hey Solo , How are you?

*Spots and Hugs Nicole*

*hugs* Morning Nicole

Extremely tired!

Did you have trouble sleeping ? Is it early where you are? *Puts on Coffee for Solo*

*Hugs Mark and Solo* How are you both?

II'm feeling okay , not crap/not wonderful but okay How are you nicole?

Oh, thank you for the coffee Mark! It's about 7:30 here. Yea, I can't get to sleep till around 2 or 3 in mornin, then I don't sleep well. I toss n turn n watch the clock. I'm always exhausted, yet can't sleep. It's maddening!

How ya doin Nicole? *hugs back*

hmm, well, I suppose look on the bright side-you aren't feeling crap :) i'm ok thanks, just realising some things that I don't really like :/

Oh, thank you so much for the coffee Mark! It's about 7:30 here. Yea, I don't get to sleep till around 2 or 3 in the morning, then I toss n turn n watch the clock, then get up at 6:30. I'm always exhausted, but can't sleep. It's maddening!

How ya doin Nicole?

Well, that shows ya how tired I am! I refreshed the page after the first post n it wasn't there, so I thought I musta forgot to click post, so I did it again n now there's two of the same post.

What don't ya like Nicole?

I am trying to look on the bright side . I am feeling okay . Bit better than yesterday :) Yep . The Office of National statistics has written to me twice in two days . They want to quiz me just because of this address I live in , They did it last year but I really don't like strange people in my flat , no matter if they are taking a poll for the governmant or whatnot :S I have had to give them my phone number and tell them when they can come over next week by letter :( Hmm I'm all conflicted , It sais On Her Majestys Service on the envelope which makes me think of James Bond heh.

I'm starting to realise some stuff about my family, e.g. I don't think my mum really cares for me, I realised latley whenever she decides to go through my stuff (which is alot of the time and she does it when i'm not at home so I can't stop her) She always throws bandages and antisceptic away, but leaves my blades, and I know she would have seen them because I keep them with the bandages. It's like she doesn't care if I cut, but I'm not allowed to do it safely :(

Maybe she just thinks that you'd be too upset if she threw away your blades, but hopes that you won't cut if you aren't able to bandage it afterwards.

I'm sorry guys, but I have to take my kids to school now. I'll check in when I can.

*big hugs to everyone*

I don't think so, I know what she's like... :/ *Hugs solo* speak soon.

*pops into ward for a second*

I know I haven't been around for a couple of days. Still really busy getting ready for inspection and working out the bill situation. o.O I'm doing ok though. I'm now more than a week w/out SI. I still really fight the urge sometimes, but I've been able to find distractions to get me through. It also helps that I've had the luming inspection to keep focused on.

I hope everyone in the ward is doing well. *hugs all* I miss you all and should be returning sometimes after thursday (that's inspection day). You are all in my thoughts and prayers. This place has become like a second home to me.

*hugs everyone*

*Hugs Nicole* I'm sorry to here that your Mum does that :(

*Hugs Kelly* Over a Week!! Way to go you!

*Hugs Louise* How are you hun?

Hmm My mind is beating me up over stupid things I have done, It really wants to make me feel very bad , I'm doing my upmost to be okay . I just took a bath with Lavender oil in it which had left me clean and I'm not sure about more relaxed but it didn't hurt at least .

*Hugs Mark* Sorry your mind is beating you up :( could you go for a walk or something?
I am looking at college courses for next year. Do you think they would let me do A-levels with 4 D's at GCSE and a level 1 BTEC qualification?

I can't cope with feeling so lonely. I think I just need to kill myself. I'm joining a few of you who can't sleep too because I took all my prescription medication when I overdosed and that usually helps me to sleep. I'm so stupid.

*Hugs Nicole* I really don't know about A levels never having taken them myself but I would hope they would let you with 5 qualifications so far.

*Hugs Lindsay* You don't need to kill yourself hun :S Please take care . When can you get more meds to help you sleep ?

Friday. I just want out of life, even for a little while.

*Squishes Lindsay Tons* Hang on in there Lindsay . You will feel better . I know how it feels to be so very alone and I know how difficult it is to cope with . I am always here if you need someone to talk/vent/rant to Hun.

*Hugs Lindsay* You don't need to kill yourself hun, you are worth so much more than this! please hang in there.
*Hugs Mark* I know, but none of them equal the entry requirements :/ hopefully they will look at all of it though and let me do them.

*hugs ward*
I'm just popping in to say hi.
I don't really have words for today...

*Hugs Felicia*

*Hugs everyone*

I love you guys. Keep holding on :) (Oh joy. Now I have that song in my head).

*cuddles Ward*

Had a good day today, spent an hour on the Wii fit game, too much fun to be exercise...

Hope you are all well x

*cuddles felicia* <3

*waves to everyone else*

sleeepy =[