Ohh, I see. Well, the only other forum I go on that isn't RYL is Gaia Online

*cuddles Dayna*

It's ****ed up hey. I hope it won't happen to us. We're going to look into some storage places today and start to clean up as my brother is coming up tomorrow for a few days. Our housemate, she has grown up around here since she was little so she knows heaps of people and can go anywhere. Us? We've only been here 6 months, I know no one from uni (cept the odd snobby bitch), we have a couple, or rather family) about half an hour north that we can stay with for a week or two IF NEED BE. It's just frustrating isn't it?? I hate it. We had only just got settled here. Looks like I'm just going to have to find a job as well FFS. I can't do that while I'm studying argghhhh

*Cuddles Katie back* >__< I really hope you get it sorted out soon. Is ****ing ****, isn't it?

Oh it is... hope you get urs sorted as well! *cuddles*

Thanks, I hope so too *hugs back again*

Thanks, I'm sure it will out for us.. I don't know.. I hope it will...

I hope it gets sorted for both of you. *sends lots of hugs* things will work out one day, promise xxxx

*sits and rocks*

Thanks Emma, how are you going today? *cuddles*

Could be better. Got put on AD's again today but can't make myself take them. What's the point? I am not sure I deserve treatment. I deserve to die. I have had enough.

*sends hugs and cuddles around*

Of course you deserve treatment, Emma! *Hugs muchly*

*Hugs Ravyn back*

Thanks Dayna.

*hugs Katie and Dayna* - Sorry to hear/read about your situations with your houses. I wish I could offer some advice or something to make it better, but I don't have any words. *hugs*

*hugs Emma* Dayna is right, you deserve treatment! Glad to hear you went to the doctors.

Hi 713, nice to meet you.

*Hugs Mary Anne, Arwyen, Kahlia, Nicole, Lucy, Grace and anyone I've forgotten* Sorry I'm short on words tonite.

Tis alright *Hugs Ravyn back again* Hope you're okay

*hugs Katrica*

Thanks Dayna, really struggling the past few days, can't put it into to words yet.

*hugs Katrica back* thanks; I hope your feelings get sorted out soon and you start to feel better soon.

>__O *Hugs Kat and Ravyn*

*Hugs Dayna, Ravyn, Katrica, 713, Kahlia, Helen, Emma, Katie, Lucy, Zowie, Hana and anyone I have missed.*

Hello 713 nice to meet you. Im Nicole.

I am officialy enroled back into school and have my first exam on wendesday. Am very nervous. Still not coping well, but that is a long story. Sorry for the lack of support and words.

*Hugs*

*Hides back under bed with the denial tent over it with BJ*

Good luck nicole

i'm sure u'll do alrite in ur exam there xx

*hugs Dayna back*
*Hugs Nicole* Good luck with your exam. Hope things start to go better for you soon.

Hi Jem, how are you doing?

*Leaves hugs for everyone else*

--
woke up today with a clearer head. Had a really tough week at work; not that anything bad happened, it just sent me deep into my depression to the point where I was contemplating suicide yesterday... but thankfully came out of it.. and it's the weekend!

Good luck Nicole! Will be thinking of you! And no need to apologise.. *cuddles* Hope your doing ok.

Jem.. how are you???

Welcome 713, welcome to the Psych Ward =D

*cuddles Kat and Ravyn* Hope your both doing ok there.. or as ok as can be!

Thanks guys the hugs etc. It's going to work out. Am feeling more positive about the situation now. But we found out that Miks friend who lives down the road and her boyfriend knew about the house before we did :\ So that's just pissed us off. I don't care how close mik and A are. I don't care. WE are living here so WE should have known BEFORE HER!! Does anyone else think that??

I socialised tonight... for all of half an hour I'm sure. I got fed up coz they were talking about mental illness and saying that what they think is right and I'm thinking yeah...... you don't know at all do you?? Before that they were talking about Mik's mum (which yes, I know she is very sick. I do know that so I do hope I'm not coming off as selfish or bitchy) but what they were saying was 'oh she hasn't died yet coz she doesn't want to so she's hanging on'. And I'm thinking, so mum died coz she DID want to??? And they were talking about MS (which my mum had.. and I've done my research on it, so I KNOW about it) and apparently Mik's mum has it too and so they were talking about it and how wrong were they!! And Ryan was all talking about it as if he's known her all his life.. and he's only known her for a few weeks!

Grrrr this is why I hate people.. I hate socialising.. it sucks. I tried. I do. I always try with them but I've had enough. I really have. I don't care what anyone else says, they can shove it.. lol. I'm so over talking with them and always getting hurt and having to cry myself to sleep.

Ok.. that's me done.. *hugs*

Hey ravyn, we posted at the same time heh. Glad you woke up better. *huggles* Tough weeks suck, glad you got through it though :D hang in there =)

*huggles Katie back* thanks for the encouragement :)

I agree with you, it's not fair that someone else knew about the house before you did... it's kinda rude actually. :S I'm with you on the not enjoying socializing -- people seem to think they know it all and don't think about what they're saying.. sorry that they were not thinking...

*hugs* Always welcome :) hehe.

Yep, right now I can't wait to move out and be rid of them. I'm going to make an effort at uni to make new friends. But hope to god they are not like these people. I agree, people don't think, me included. But this guy in particular, thinks he knows the world. And I hate people like that. Sure, if you've seen alot in your life, experienced alot, great (or not so great??) but those that just.. are grrrrrr if you get what ones I'm talking about lol!

Oh and my brother missed his train tonight. So he won't be here tomorrow morning *cries* He's going to try to get another train.. but it sucks =( It just HAD to go wrong didn't it??

Thanks Katie and Ravyn.

Hope things go well for you both *Hugs*

Thanks for everyone welcoming me. It`s nearly as nice as on a real ward here :-)

Hello everyone. Sorry I haven't been supporting recently, just feel so drained. Selfish, I know. But I am sorry.
I'm gonna rant a bit here, so you don't have to read it.

It's my sister's birthday party tonight. She keeps telling me not to do anything that embarrasses her and it's really starting to get on my nerves. We've been to three parties together and on the first one her friend showed me her scars and asked to see mine so I showed her so she knew she wasn't alone, and my sister keeps saying 'don't you go showing off your slit wrists to everyone. it's ****ing horrible'. Apparently her friend told her I showed her my scars and omitted the part where she asked to see them. Gah.
I told her to stop acting to high and mighty, and reminded her that when she came to my birthday she was drunk and silly. But she's acting like I'm some sort of burden and will be annoying at her party. Pisses me right off.

My friend (the one who's angry at me for throwing up on new years) is coming for a bit, and my boyfriend said he's busy tonight but will also come for a bit. Strangely enough they're leaving at the same sort of time. So I'm pretty sure them and my other 'mates' are yet again doing something without inviting me.

I'm stressed out about money. I'm now on benefits, Jobseekers Allowance. I'm waiting for a letter about my application to disability living allowance. But the JSA I'm recieving at the moment is not enough to live on. My dad wants all of it to go on rent, and so I don't have any money for food, going out or tobacco.
I've got an appointment with them on Monday and I'm going to have to ask them to raise the ammount I'm getting. It's just not enough.

Okay, I'm done ranting.
*Gives out hugs and retreats to smoking shelter*
xxx

713, no worries =) Hope to get to know you more around here. I've never been in a real ward so I can't really... comment? Lol..

Zowie *huge cuddles* Sorry but your sister sounds like a...hmm... *insert word there* Sorry she's being like that. I haven't yet to deal with people like that but I can imagine how annoyed and upset and frustrated I'd get.

Money, yeah kinda same boat hey. Money sucks. It really does. It's great if you have it... lol.. but when you don't.. a real downer.. *hugs*

Thanks Katie *hugs back*
x

I just heard the one of the most *searching for a verb that doesn´t make my sentence sound like I am attemptin at discriminating anyone *
hilarious suggestions for supporting me. I was told my psychiatrist wanted me to apply for government funding for mentally disabled people.
I mean what the heck...? I am not disabled.

*Bounces madly in and tackleglompsquishes the flying **** outta everyone* =DD!!!

Kaatiiieee: Glad to hear that yer housing situation's gonna be alright ^____^ although bleh, I agree with you and Ravyn 'bout that other person knowing first. Ish not right .__.;;

I dun has enough concentration to read many other posts, so sorry about that :sweat:


I can basically sum up how I am in three words:

I.

Am.

HYPER =DD

Dayna - LOL, that's awesome... just reading that post made me smile.

*sends hugs to everyone*

XDD! Gooood *glompage*

Heh, yeah put a smile on my face too =)

They came round last night.. and Trent asked her how long they had known.. she said a week before you were told :\ I'm like :O So she was told before we even got back! Grrrr. Then Trent was like Look, why were you told? It has nothing to do with you. And she was like coz Mik wanted to get it off her chest.. (Fair enough I guess) But... why did it take a week for us to be told? Apparently coz Miks mum had to tell us, not Mik. But an email would have been nice. Miks mum also stayed here for a few days, we got told just before she was leaving. Again it was said she was waiting to all three of us were home, but for gods sake was it so hard to organise a meeting? a time? ARGHHH

It's really annoyed me. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

I see I have been forgotten about in here, that hasn't happened in a long time *rolls eyes* So when I die, nobody will notice? :( Makes me sad seeing I'm one of the longest term residents here >.<

Have completly lost it. Seriously. I'm thing about suicidal plans. Have new ideas for once. I might just go ahead & break all my promises & do it. I just can't go on anymore. I don't care that people say I dont want to die. I really do this time. It's final. I'm on the verge of booking tickets to get to it aswell. My abusive ex/rapist keeps controlling my head even though we haven't spoken or a months. The stuipd ****ing **** is still destroying me. I can't live anymore. I give up trying. I'm not asking for help because I just can't anymore. Nobody believes anything is wrong with me in anyway medically..well depression wise :|

GRRRRRRRRRRR

I'm sorry.

*cuddles Helen and Katrica tightly*

Helen - you haven't been forgotten.. *hugs* i don't have much more to offer right now, in a dark cloud... but please don't think that you've been forgotten.

Katrica - *hugs* sorry don't have more... hope things get sorted out.

Katie - *hugs* i would be annoyed too.. that's not nice at all...

*leaves hugs for everyone*

*hugs tightly*

I'm stuipd for feeling forgotten I guess :S

*hugs back* don't think you're stupid... feelings are real and i'm glad you shared them... i just wanted you to know that i care...

EDIT: i'm sorry if i made you feel that way!!

*Sneaks back in and hugs everyone*

Sorry I've been so **** at support lately

*snuggles Helen* Don't feel stupid.. it's normal to feel that way. I care too, you know that. Ily x

How are you today Ravyn?

Dayna- *huggles* Hope your ok. No need apologise! We can't support 24/7. We have to take time for ourselves too.

Take care everyone, please *leaves more hugs*

Katie: I've been a lot better ;-; *hugs back* hope you're okay

Well, I think my housemate's gonna make an appointment to see the doctor for me tomorrow

What's left...?

I'm gonna lose my home.

I'm currently losing the one person I need in my life to keep me together. Lmao, he can't even be bothered to try and talk now, he admitted that himself.

I give up.

It's over.

I want to die.

I've had enough of hurting. I don't see a ****ing way forwards. And I still lack that vital courage needed to finally off myself. It's laughable, really, how Goddamn ****ing pathetic I am, how much of a coward I am.

SOMEONE JUST KILL ME, BECAUSE CHRIST KNOWS I CAN'T ****ING DO THE JOB MYSELF.

I CAN'T LIVE ANY MORE, I JUST ****ING CAN'T. I HATE THIS. I HATE MYSELF. I just want everything to end >_<

*hugs Dayna* don't have many words; but have been feeling similarly myself the last few days... i know how it hurts.

*hugs Katie* i'm not sure how i'm doing tbh... i feel lost.. thanks for asking. how are you doing?

*leaves hugs and cuddles for everyone* how is everyone doing? hope things are okish.

*cuddles everyone lots*

*cuddles Helen back*

*hugs Katrica* what battles?

--
feeling quite unsafe, if anyone has extra cuddles or hugs to spare, i'd really appreciate it.

*joins Nicole and BJ under the bed with the denial tent over it.. with my stuffed bunny*

*pulls up a bean bag and sits with ravyn* I have lots of hugs to spare. Hope you feel better soon xx

Dayna- I am sorry things are so crappy atm. I really truely understand what that feels like. Thinking of you, for what its worth x

Katrica- I hope you are managing to win more battles than you are losing. Here if you want to talk about what is going on.

*cuddles Katie* I hope things get sorted for you. Please don't give up. Things can get better.

*pokes Helen* I have already spoken to you on MSN. But hope you are doing better today. *squishes*

How is everyone else doing? Mary Anne, Nicole, Amanda? *leaves hugs for you guys*

*rocks quietly* nothing even, specifically wrong that I can figure. Everything just hurts. Last night was very bad. I had a huge row with my best friend and ended up driving back home at 3am. Not going to bother trying anymore.

Hi all *big cuddles all round*

Forgot to check in yesterday, was trying to stop a window leaking (we are having freak weather here).

Feeling low, weekends are long on my own (did visit mum on Saturday, she is now the proud owner of all the crap that is associated with my wedding to the he-devil).

Helen - you must deffo are not forgotten, *big hug* please stay safe

*hugs Ravyn* hope that cloud lifts soon

*hugs Dayna* not got words but hope you are okay

*sends hugs tyo Ravyn, Katrica, Katie and anyone else around*

x

I'm slowly becoming convinced certain people (not mentioning names and please don't think this is aimed at any of you in particular) think I'm attention seeking & never going to follow out with my plans. But seriously one day soon I'm going to snap and do it in such a way that I seriously will get death out of it or...or if its unfornately fails (as per ****ing usual) then..severly injured.

I also know that some people seem to think my moods drop to the point of suicidal because of something like assignmnet comes and stresses me out and gets me to the point I get suicidal. Well I know for mysef, that's not true. I've been suicidal at times where there was one due...but also times *lots* where it really wasn't. But whatever. Maybe it's a good thing in some werid way if it was just because of that. I don't know?

I don't remember most of last night, I can't bear to even dicuss it anyway, but seriously, I did speak to someone, she thinks I need to see a shrink (I hate english people subtistuting english words with american ones :S) meh. I cba with help anymore. It doesn't get me anywhere. But whatever whatever whatever. We all just think (except me maybe) that I'll be fine again in a few weeks. *rolls eyes* Maybe I will. Maybe I won't. Who gives a ****ing **** anymore?

Sorry for last night.

Emma & Dayna , I am worried about you both :(

Emma - thanks for the hugs and sitting with me. *hugs back* sorry to hear about your fight with your friend. did you want to talk about it?

Katrica - *hugs* keep fighting, the tides will turn; hopefully sooner rather than later.

Mary Anne - *hugs back* thanks, I hope so too. Hope that the weekend passes quickly for you.

Helen - *hugs* please try and be safe. i'm worried about you. *sends cuddles*

*sends hugs to everyone else*

--
it hurts to be alive right now and i don't know why or how to change this