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-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

Scarletdreamer 10-12-2009 09:59 AM

Aw Kahlia... I wish I could help more, as I said before. I'm sure that people IRL don't wish that for you, and I'm also sure that people here don't wish that, either. I know I don't. Within Temptation fans are not that common here in the US so the only WT lovers I know are via online. And I don't want to lose you now that I've found you!! (Sorry, I know that that was cheesy, but it's true... you deserve the love and support that I and everyone else here is capable of giving. *hugs*)

But don't get me wrong... I understand wanting to disappear. Do I ever. I hate my life and openly state that to my husband and various close friends, as well as my treatment team. They say I'm getting better, but veeeery slowly (like a slug, my therapist [abbreviated as "T"]... and then she apologized, while I laughed). My husband is getting frustrated with me for not getting better faster.

But anyway...

I do hope that you feel better soon. How is your day going so far? Well, I guess it's evening for you now, right? It's only 5am here... I hate getting up so early but it's like I can't sleep after a certain time.

*hugs everyone*

SoMuchMore 10-12-2009 03:22 PM

*hugs everyone*

chocostashchick 10-12-2009 06:43 PM

xxxooo to everybody
the Virtual Psych Ward is very possibly my most favorite place on RYL i think
and in case anybody didn't know there is a magical Denial Tent here where the real world is pretend and everything else is real and it's lovely and you'll love it you just will it's fabulous
signingchild thank you for posting about your adhd and the meds interfering with your other psych rx's - i had no idea about this and i have adhd and take an rx for it but no other med i have ever been on has had any thereapeutic results! i only get the crappy unwanted side effects! i have no idea if it's due to what you were talking about but at least now i can tell myself it's not necessarily because i am cursed with unluckyness and should perhaps stop wasting time on my quest to hunt leprechauns and exploit their lucky powers for my own exclusive personal benefit
Kahlia i can relate about crappy hospital docs - it's especially bad when they're crap because if there is any time you really might need a GOOD or at least DECENT doc it's in hosp. humans make mistakes and docs are no exception but in that particular profession it's especially unfortunate, isn't it? it's partly why i sometimes wonder if i really AM cursed, because pretty much every doc and nurse i encountered in hosp, despite my hoping and giving them all the benefit of the doubt, thinking i must be crazy and wrong and unfairly judging them since they are the trained professionals after all, were complete and total crap.
i possibly have a paper bag over my head and have never heard of Within Temptation and must google them and find them on iTunes immediately so as to not be weird loser person

Scarletdreamer 10-12-2009 10:11 PM

Lol, Within Temptation is a Dutch band, very good, female-fronted "rock" (I guess? I'm not sure what label to put on them). I found out about them from a good friend from the UK, and have been in love ever since. Go on YouTube and search for Within Temptation "Memories" - the best music video EVER!! (in my humble opinion, haha)

Mmm, time for supper. Bruschetta pizza and garlic bread knots. A bit of a "binge" considering my new exercise and diet plan, but it's a celebratory thing for the end of the semester. :)

whispering girl 10-12-2009 11:23 PM

*hides from failing calc. and awaiting finals in a pillow fort*

chocostashchick 10-12-2009 11:47 PM

oh i like Within Temptation and i have actually heard them before, even here in USA! just hadn't known their name apparently.
ps there are no failing grades or calculus in the denial tent!
shudder i was rubbish at calculus and whatever tiny bit of calculus knowledge my brain has i magically pass onto you. (most likely this is nothing, but it's the thought that counts.)

Scarletdreamer 11-12-2009 06:43 AM

Aww *hugs Whispering* I hate calc too, *shudders* but you're in the denial tent, no failing here. Hope you do better... we're here for you!! :)

Gahh I'm up and awake and it's 1:40am... don't wanna be awake this early!! I have some silly little YA books that I can read if I feel like it... easy reading so it shouldn't take too much concentration, and I can get on WoW if I feel like it... but I would rather be sleeping!!! :(

Bloodwork tomorrow morning and I am as thirsty as HELL but can't drink anything but water, and our water tastes like CRAP... all sulfur-y etc. :( My mouth is dry and sticky and I hate feeling like that... would love some hot cider or hot chocolate but can't... ugh. Anyway, enough whining, lol.

Wish I had a nurse or someone to talk with in this virtual psych ward... when I was in hos, those many times, there was ALWAYS someone to chat with. Oh well. I'm glad you all are getting your sleep. :)

&♥

SoMuchMore 11-12-2009 06:43 AM

so its December 11... 1 year since my last real attempt. I wish i was happier about that then i am, but its not like much has changed, I just don't OD as much... which i guess is good. right? of course it is... i think. But anyway, I hope everyone is doing alright.
*hugs*

chocostashchick 11-12-2009 07:30 AM

Laura it isn't a good thing it's a great thing and it doing it takes a lot of brave strength and that is super impressive so Yay Laura and you should totally celebrate that you did that for a whole year like buy yourself presents maybe and get confetti! confetti always makes it a celebration i mean when do you see confetti and not think YAY PARTY

Kahlia1981 11-12-2009 08:18 AM

*hugs all*

Sorry no individual replies, just know that I have read everyone's posts and am thinking of you all.

This morning I sold my gold engagement and wedding rings, did some banking, got my navel pierced and met up with my friend (used to be my housemate) for coffee. I enjoyed the coffee and chat. It was something "normal" in these turbulent times. My friend has to go off to an appointment so I did a little light shopping (groceries only unfortunately) and cycled home. While I was with my friend, he said that I sounded like I had swallowed a cryptic crossword. In a way I was trying to prepare him for my disappearing-without-telling-anyone-where-I-was-going because that's still what I would dearly love to do. But... yeah... I don't know. *sigh* My head is all twisted right now.

Scarletdreamer 11-12-2009 10:11 AM

Laura, that's awesome!! You should be so proud of yourself. *big hugs* Celebrate... go out and do something special, buy yourself something special, if you can. Try and enjoy the day as much as you can. I remember how much I celebrated when I reached a year of no SI... that was back in July '07... sadly, am back to SI'ing monthly now. But anyway - tangent. Callie is right, confetti is good. :)

Callie, how are you doing?? *hugs*

Kahlia, sounds like you had a busy day. I'm glad you enjoyed the coffee and chat... sounds like you needed it. :) It's always good to get time with friends... but please don't disappear-without-telling-anyone-where-you're-going. That doesn't sound very good nor very healthy, and while you may need a getaway, that definitely doesn't sound like the way to get it. *hugs* I hope that you sleep well tonight (it's nighttime there now, right?)... try and take care of yourself the best that you can, and remember - people care about you.

Gahh. I have fasting bloodwork this morning and I've been up since 1am, unable to sleep. I wonder if it's the Abilify doing that, or the med switch (Geodon to Abilify) in general... been getting up anywhere from 1am to 5am the past few weeks or so. I hate not sleeping. But now because I'm fasting and just drinking water (which tastes very sulfur-y :( ... oh well), I want to fast all day even though I can't. GRRRRR... :(

SoMuchMore 11-12-2009 07:38 PM

*hugs Callie* thanks *grabs a handful of confetti and throws it around*

*hugs kahlia* Glad to hear you had a good time with coffee.. i love coffee lol. Stay strong.

*hugs scarletdreamer* (sorry I don't know your name)... I'm trying to be happier about it, I would be happier if I actually felt better, but o well. I'm just having a relaxing day i think. Sorry to hear that you are SI-ing monthly again... Maybe someday you can get back to a year and then 2 and 3... etc... and then i'll hand you some confetti lol.

bluecherry 11-12-2009 08:21 PM

Dont know if im in the right thread - sorry if this aint the place. Just gotta get it out.

Feeling really really blue...

Feeling really really alone.

linglong 11-12-2009 10:08 PM

bluecherry * huge cuddles*

chocostashchick 12-12-2009 12:19 AM

bluecherry this is the place for everything!
it's magical and perfect because nothing doesn't belong here!
i know, it's awesome, right??
*huge squishy hugs for the whole entire Virtual Psych Ward because it's awesome*
Kahlia how is the belly piercing? i hope it's well - i have had to do mine twice and i'm still not sure it's going to take so i really hope you are having much better luck! be careful with your clothes; mine always is getting stuck on my shirts. i hope you don't have to disappear? disappearing isn't a good thing to have to do. please don't. your belly piercing will be all disappeared and alone and miss all the other piercing friends it has in the world that can't see it anymore.
Laura, you've made a whole year and that is awesome huge confetti progress so just think what this whole next year will bring you with an entire year's more progress! yay that will be giant confetti!
Scarlet abilify made me funny too i think. i wasn't on it long but i specifically remember that the reason i went off it was that i suspected it kept me awake. you should def ask your doc about that. how's the blood work?
hi emski

zowie 12-12-2009 01:16 AM

I hope Puppy Sinclaire is still in here!!!

Kahlia1981 12-12-2009 04:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by zowie (Post 2033403)
I hope Puppy Sinclaire is still in here!!!

Arwen: *hugs you* - I believe Puppy SinClair is still around ... I'm not sure he's being fed though!!

Quote:

Originally Posted by chocostashchick (Post 2033324)
Kahlia how is the belly piercing? i hope it's well - i have had to do mine twice and i'm still not sure it's going to take so i really hope you are having much better luck! be careful with your clothes; mine always is getting stuck on my shirts. i hope you don't have to disappear? disappearing isn't a good thing to have to do. please don't. your belly piercing will be all disappeared and alone and miss all the other piercing friends it has in the world that can't see it anymore.

The belly ring is going really well. I was concerned for a couple of seconds there yesterday when I looked at it and the dressing they'd put over it was blood-stained. But seriously that's not really a surprise. Yeah I've been warned about clothes interacting with the jewellery. *hugs you*

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fallinstar0317 (Post 2032829)
*hugs kahlia* Glad to hear you had a good time with coffee.. i love coffee lol. Stay strong.

Yeah coffee is good. And it's even better when you are sharing the joyous coffee experience with friends. *hugs you*

Quote:

Originally Posted by Scarletdreamer (Post 2032231)
Kahlia, sounds like you had a busy day. I'm glad you enjoyed the coffee and chat... sounds like you needed it. :) It's always good to get time with friends... but please don't disappear-without-telling-anyone-where-you're-going. That doesn't sound very good nor very healthy, and while you may need a getaway, that definitely doesn't sound like the way to get it. *hugs* I hope that you sleep well tonight (it's nighttime there now, right?)... try and take care of yourself the best that you can, and remember - people care about you.

I'm trying to fight it. Luckily I don't have a car. Last time I felt the need to disappear I just jumped in my car and left I was gone for a week and my parents were about to list me as a missing person when I returned. I just hope this feeling/need/urge/idk fades a bit. *hugs you*


I know that I've missed some people and I'm sorry. I just want you all to know that I'm thinking of you. *hugs everyone in the ward and leaves hugs for anyone who walks in*

Kahlia1981 12-12-2009 08:27 AM

*hugs everyone*

I'm in an extreme downward spiral... in a really bad place. Knowing I should reach out for help IRL but not being able to. Just wanting it all to be over. *sigh*

*goes and finds a vacant corner in the dark and sits and cries*

Scarletdreamer 12-12-2009 10:09 AM

*holds Kahlia* I'm so sorry, love, that things are so hard. But you can make it through. What is the toughest thing going on right now? is there anything that we can do to help? *more hugs* Ooh, and I wanted to say that piercings are cool - just got my nose done and I have 8 piercings total in my ears. Trying to figure out what I want done next - not my belly button, as I HATE my stomach and don't want a stranger looking at it. Plus I heard they hurt a lot... the nose piercing hurt enough, lol. I'm not that good with pain unless I'm the one inflicting it. :-/

Laura, my name's April. :) I suppose I ought to put that in my user title thingummy so people know. Hmmm. Anyway, yeah, it will be giant confetti when you reach 2 years without any attempts. And it will be giant confetti when I reach 1 year without SI'ing!! because recently I just cut so badly I had to go get stitches. :( So that was really dumb of me. But oh well... stupid things do happen, especially to someone as dumb as I am. :( How are you doing today?

Callie, I called my NP last night about the Abilify and she told me to increase it from 10mg to 20mg and take it in the mornings. I don't have akathesia (sp?) - movement problem, unable to sit still, that means I have too much Abilify in my system... so we are decreasing the Geodon by another 40mg and, as I said, doubling the Abilify. It's 5am now and I got up a little past four... better than 1am though!!! I am so glad that I have a good NP - she's going to call me later today about how my night went, how I slept, etc. She may have make mistakes with meds but my body is so messed up when it comes to how it accepts medications, so technically it's not really a mistake. But aaanyway... :) *hugs*

*hugs everyone*

Who's Puppy SinClair? :)

SoMuchMore 12-12-2009 05:51 PM

*hugs Kahlia* hang in there hun. If it gets bad enough please try to reach out to someone in real life.

*hugs april* sorry to hear about your SIing, but you are not stupid or dumb!! You seem like I very nice/supportive person from your posts in here.

I'm alright today. Trying to ignore some thoughts, but oh well. I'm going to a Shinedown concert tonight so that is bound to lift my spirits.. at least for a few hours anyway.


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