Been feeling very sedated since they upped my APs.
Had lunch with my auntie; she's pregnant - With twins! Great news!
Feeling a bit crap, Beth's been really bugging me today (Beth's the spirit who talks to me), telling me to hurt people. She really wants to see someone get hurt.
It's hard.
xxx

*especially warm hugs to everyone*

Princess_suicide_fairy, I am sorry that you have been so low. I do hope you have been able to stay safe. I know it's been a long time since your post but try the distractions section or the archade. We are always here for a chat if you need it :)

Glad that your exam went alright, Chloe. You must be so relieved to get it over and done with :) Sorry that you are low on energy, hope you have been recharging your batteries and keeping safe.

Helen, it is a comforting thing to hear that you're having some happy moments in your days (however fleeting they may seem). Try to concentrate more on your life and trying to make it how you want it rather than comparing your life with others around you. It is difficult but it's more rewarding.

Alexx, thanks for the milkshake :) how are you doing today?

Emma, well done for resisting the temptation to OD. I don't mean to sound condescending by saying that btw! I hope you enjoy yourself tonight and stay safe hun.

Susan, how is your day going?

Jo, I'm sorry that today has been so bad for you. Stay here in the Denial Tent with us, we have all manner for drinks and foods and toys :)

Ally, Jeremy, Callie how are you all doing today?

*hugs Zowie*

It sounds like you had a nice time with your aunt. Ooh twins - you're going to have twin cousins! :D

Keep fighting what Beth says, you can do it. I know it is hard, but you can.

I'm...abit nervous tbh...
I met this guy..who's really cute...but he's a middle class boy...went to a private boys school etc...and I dunno how to tell him about my past and stuff...I NEED to....because I have scars at the top of my legs...but he's the first guy i've met in about 14 months...I...want to get to know him and stuff...but...I don't know what to say or how to start the conversation...this...probably sounds really stupid...but...I'm...confused

Why do you need to? Can't you get to know him and then tell him when you know each other better?
Maybe you should consider giving yourself a bit of a break and allowing yourself time to enjoy the "getting to know each other" stage.

yeah...we're still getting to know each other...but..with things like this...i need to plan ahead...or I'll panic and mess up...
I only told one guy before...and it messed up...all the other guys have found out...

Maybe give it a month? Or set a different limit on it? That way you can have a plan and enjoy the getting to know each other stage...Just a thought

Emma, well done for resisting the temptation to OD. I know it sounds hyprocritical I hope you enjoy yourself tonight and please please please please stay safe hun.

Alex, you don't have to tell him everything like your past right now do you?

Carole, how are you sweetie?

Zowie, congrats of the news about your aunty. Please try and fight what Beth says, I know it's extremely hard hun. *hugs*

Jo, I'm also sorry that today has been so bad for you. Stay here in the Denial Tent with us, you know we're all amazing and awesome and will help you through this.

I'm really glad that your exam went alright, Chloe. You must be so relieved and happy to get it over and done with :) Sorry I didn't reply to your post about it earlier sweetie.

Ally, I hope you're alright, and same goes for you Callie & Jermery. xxxx

yeah I guess....
I think I'm just scared. The scars on my legs make me feel worse than the ones elsewhere....maybe because i dont see them as often...so im not as comfortable with them?
Thanks guys *hugs*
hope you are all ok
xxxx

*hugs Alex lots*

*hugs Alexx*
Try to mix the planning and going with the flow. It may help :)

I'm ok - started drinking

How are you Helen?

I really don't know. Wish I could go out after all tomorrow evening like I was going to. Oh well. I'm thinking about suidice again. WTF is wrong with me? I want happiness. Yet at the same time, I really crave to kill myself sucessfully.

*hugs*
Has anything triggered this hun?

I guess a small mixture of thinking about moving house, watching Casualty and thinking about life probs didn't help tbh....and thinking about that comment again....I gotta let it go

*hugs*
Haven't you moved already? (sorry if I'm a bit behind or got it wrong)
How has Casualty affected you?

Casualty got to me tonight aswell think its coz of how low i was feeling before hand, its a good story line though.

sorry i've not been around much lately other than coming in and moaning about things.
*hugs* to everyone.

am struggling loads right now and i dont know how to cope with it because i cant ask for help because of being on this course its all just a bit of amess, i dont want ppl to know i'm struggling and am just being stubborn. i know how bad i'm feeling right now and its taking every litle bit of energy i have left (wich to be honest isnt much at all right now) to hold on that little bit longer. i'm physically exhausted aswell right now but thats not new either. i should just crawl back into my corner and hide.:crying:

Katey, it sure is a good story line. It shows that people who have been suicidal in the past and commited suidice, can then go back to feeling that way.

Carole, no I haven't moved house yet. I think you may be confused because when I had my net/phone/cable cut off, Alex posted in here saying I may disconnected my net before we moving...because she didn't know what had happened at that point...

it does show that yeah, its not summit (as we all kno) that just goes away once we've maybe tried it one. its summit that come back again and again. and isnt always impulsive either it can be planned and we can look to other people like we are feeling fine. i know i've done that so many times (and then later been called manipulative by many people, mainly hospital staff!!!!!) yet inside its a completely different story.