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-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

shadowedsoul 15-01-2011 09:20 PM

hmm what is the point in all this. its just more **** after more ****. im so cant do this anymore.

sdixon 15-01-2011 09:22 PM

*holds shadowedsoul* There is a point, idk what it is to tell you yet, but there is one.

Doikers 15-01-2011 09:31 PM

Bearing in mind I'm in bed in 30 minutes whats up Jill?

shadowedsoul 15-01-2011 09:34 PM

hugs mark, thanks mark, but it doesnt matter.

FlyingNy 15-01-2011 11:38 PM

*Hugs Jill* It does matter.

Why can I do nothing but hurt folk?

shadowedsoul 15-01-2011 11:39 PM

hugs lia, you dont hurt folks hun? you okay
hugs sdixon thank you.

PsychoKitty2010 15-01-2011 11:44 PM

-hugs lia- you don't hurt anyone..

FlyingNy 15-01-2011 11:47 PM

Yes I do. I do it all the time. It's all I do. I push people out, I let them down, I'm cold, I'm horrible.

*Hugs Kitty* How are you?

PsychoKitty2010 15-01-2011 11:48 PM

I have made a decision about something...just don't know the "when" factor yet. But I am going to go take a shower now.

shadowedsoul 16-01-2011 12:01 AM

hugs lia,*shakes head* no your not, your not any of those thing girly.

FlyingNy 16-01-2011 12:09 AM

Kitty, a decision about what?

*Hugs Jill* thanks :)

Wow. 'You just seem uncaring'. The text I just got from the one person who I has told me that I'm not an Ice Queen, not cold hearted, not a bitch. She's seen that side of me but still she thinks that. She sees at last. And you know what? I'm not going to hurt anyone else with this. I want to protect you all from this part of me and I think that means being here to support you only.

shadowedsoul 16-01-2011 12:22 AM

hugs lia, i dont think your uncaring hun. just like me hate to show your emotions, or have a hard time showing your emotions. if that makes any sence.you dont deserve pain hun.

PsychoKitty2010 16-01-2011 12:44 AM

I'm back.

-hugs lia- you are not uncaring. I care about you.

-hugs shadowedsoul-

PsychoKitty2010 16-01-2011 12:48 AM

Anyone still here?

FlyingNy 16-01-2011 12:57 AM

I am. How are you Kitty?

PsychoKitty2010 16-01-2011 01:02 AM

-shrugs- It doesn't matter anymore. Never really did. You ok Lia? -hugs-

shadowedsoul 16-01-2011 01:08 AM

curls up

FlyingNy 16-01-2011 01:16 AM

It does matter Kitty. It's always mattered.

*Hugs Jill*

PsychoKitty2010 16-01-2011 01:26 AM

-hugs jill-

I don't know how I'm doing. I'm just kind of blah. Like I said, made a decision, now I'm just waiting to figure out the "when" factor. How are you?

Sorry it took so long to reply. Gotta keep hiding the screen. I'm here though.

shadowedsoul 16-01-2011 01:33 AM

hugs kitty, and lia. hmm im feeling really low, i just want to die. struggling to not act on that feeling. there is enough tablets here to do some damage. sorry i dont know anymore.

PsychoKitty2010 16-01-2011 01:35 AM

-hugs jill- I know how you feel. Is there anyone you can call? Or could you go to a hospital? Maybe call a crisis line? Sorry I don't really know what else to suggest..

PsychoKitty2010 16-01-2011 01:36 AM

Going to eat dinner. Be back soon. Won't take long. If you need me, feel free to PM me..

FlyingNy 16-01-2011 01:40 AM

Jill, please don't do anything honey. Decide on a safe place, like your bed, and tell yourself you can't do anything there then make sure you don't move. Don't leave your soft spot and keep everything harmful away from it.

shadowedsoul 16-01-2011 01:50 AM

hugs lia, and kitty. hmm going to try that. dont worry about me.

PsychoKitty2010 16-01-2011 02:06 AM

I'm back.

-hugs jill- take care. be safe..

FlyingNy 16-01-2011 02:06 AM

*Hugs* I hope you can stay safe Jill.

FlyingNy 16-01-2011 02:08 AM

Hey Kitty :)

PsychoKitty2010 16-01-2011 02:17 AM

Hey Lia. You doing ok?

PsychoKitty2010 16-01-2011 02:30 AM

-spots and waves to kahlia- How you be?

Kahlia1981 16-01-2011 02:32 AM

Kitty: Not too crash hot to be honest. How are you sweet?

*huggles all*

Back pain has been bad the last two days - a sign of the narrowing of the spinal canal and squeezing of the spinal nerves. *sigh* Guess I'm going to have to get used to it.

Mood is crashing - psychiatrist appointment on Wed. What fun ...

Little bit over everything right now...

PsychoKitty2010 16-01-2011 02:39 AM

I'm alive. Kinda blah. Just waiting. Got plans for Thursday and thats far away. So I am just sitting waiting for time to go by and for Thursday to get here. Have my counseling appointment on Tuesday where I will briefly tell her of my plans, but not enough to send me away. Just enough to let her know. Won't be too long now...just don't know when. -hugs- Sorry you aren't doing so well. Anything I can do to help?

Kahlia1981 16-01-2011 02:46 AM

I know kind of how that rolls. I have to tell my psychiatrist about me almost attempting suicide early in January. I've only told 1 person IRL about it and how close I came. Everyone IRL (except that person) thinks my depression has lifted when it hasn't and doesn't realise that I still have the "means to my end" in the house. It's going to be a "fun" session. I just wish it was over already.

PsychoKitty2010 16-01-2011 02:47 AM

-spots and waves to just an illusion- How are you?

PsychoKitty2010 16-01-2011 02:50 AM

I can relate, Kahlia. My mom told me, when I was first diagnosed with depression and PTSD as a teenager, that it was just a phase. My husband feels that I should be better because I'm married now. He doesn't see how I can have these issues. My mom still tries to run my life even though I have moved out. She won't stop. I am never good enough for her. I'm done trying..

frenchhorn 16-01-2011 02:58 AM

*hugs all* sorry i've not been around for a while.

PsychoKitty2010 16-01-2011 03:00 AM

-hugs oliver- How are you? How have you been?

frenchhorn 16-01-2011 03:10 AM

not great. you?

PsychoKitty2010 16-01-2011 03:12 AM

Same. What's wrong? -hugs oliver-

frenchhorn 16-01-2011 03:29 AM

where to start. I'm trying to hold it all together so I don't let people down, but inside I'm screaming in agony.
You?
*hugs Kitty*

PsychoKitty2010 16-01-2011 03:36 AM

So tired of everything. Tired of fighting. Tired of trying, but coming up short, not good enough for my mom. That's ok though. I have a plan to make it all right. -hugs oliver- I know how you feel, though. I'm sorry that you are not doing well. :( Anything I can do to help?

frenchhorn 16-01-2011 03:53 AM

*hugs Kitty* I'm sorry, know how you feel too :(
i just want the pain to go, but even though I'm not in uni for this year there are still things I have to do and people I would let down, how do you fight day by day, when each day is absolute agony

PsychoKitty2010 16-01-2011 03:59 AM

-shrugs- I don't know anymore. I am worried I will let a few people down as well. But I have felt like **** since I was 6 years old (I am 22 now, going on 23). My mom won't leave me alone until either she dies or I die, and I don't anticipate her dying any time soon, unless there was a freak accident. I am just never good enough for her. I'm tired of being a failure..

frenchhorn 16-01-2011 04:18 AM

*hugs Kitty* your not a failure

PsychoKitty2010 16-01-2011 04:22 AM

-hugs oliver- Yes I am. I am too fat. I have a skin problem which I don't know what it is it's not acne but it's kinda like it. I don't have a job. I mean, I can't work at this point, but that does not matter to her. She hounds me about me needing to get a job. She hounds me about losing weight. She tells me to exercise but I can't really exercise because of my back problems. If I get a B- in a class she doesn't think that's good it's always "You can do better". I'm never good enough. I figured out I never will be. So I have made the decision on what needs to be done. It's just a matter of when now.

frenchhorn 16-01-2011 04:28 AM

*hugs kitty* you really are not a failure, is there someone in real life you can talk to, like a psych or dr, or counsellor.
I'm sorry I need to try and sleep, its 4.30am here and I have to be up in 4 hours. I didn't take my night meds, which can help me sleep because they give me the most horrific nightmares, which have me waking up every few hours sweating and shaking and convinced its real, so I'm now stuck in insomnia.
please stay safe kitty *hugs*

PsychoKitty2010 16-01-2011 04:31 AM

-hugs oliver- Sleep well.

Doikers 16-01-2011 12:10 PM

*Hugs Jill*
*Hugs Lia*
*Hugs Kitty*
*Hugs Kahlia*
*Hugs Oliver*

one_step_closer 16-01-2011 12:27 PM

*hugs everyone*

How are you, Mark?

Doikers 16-01-2011 12:59 PM

I'm feeling okay , Want to pop to Morrisons to get cheap cheese and the like because on Sundays they massivly reduce stuff thats going out of date , I could get a huge great block of cheese for between 49p and 99p but I don't really want to brave the rain , I'm still wet from earlier :S
How are you Lindsay hun?

nicole94 16-01-2011 01:34 PM

*Hugs everyone*


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