I'm so sorry, Mark. Please get in touch if you need to talk. *hugs*

*hugs mark* I'm so sorry for your loss, please do not hestate to contact me if you need to talk.

How are you Lindsay?

*hugs mark* i'm so sorry hun, PM me any time.x
*hides* i can't do this anymore. i can't. :(

*Hugs Mark* I'm so sorry. I don't really know what to say because everyone reacts differently. I can't even say it gets easier in time because I never really grieved properly for my Nanna, so I wouldn't know. But I suppose it does because I can remember her with a smile now. Most of the time.

*Hugs Nicole* You can do this, we're all here for you. What's wrong?

xx

*hugs lia* i can't i honestly can't. i'm just so damn suicidal. i dont think i can stay safe much longer :(

*hugs mark* *adds a happy belated birthday since I wasn't on during the weekend and didn't wanna not say it* I'm soo sorry about your gran. If you need someone to talk to I'm messaging you my email addy (I get my email all the time as its on my phone too so if I'm not on RYL I'll still get your message).
glad you gave your flatmate your things for your plan.

*huggles everyone* Sorry it isn't more but I just got caught up and I don't have time to say more right now.

*Holds Nicole tightly so she can't do anything* Do you have any idea what triggered this?

Has anyone heard from Jill? She hasn't been on in a while.

*Hugs Ward* Thankyou to everyone who have expressed their condolences . I super apprciate it .
I am at my Mum (Grandma was my Mums Mums) and Dads for the night. I may not be on the ward a lot tonight.
Some of you have sent me PM's , I am not up to reading them tonight, I'll do my best to read them tomorrow.

*hugs Mark super tight* Email if you need.
*hugs Nicole*
No I haven't seen Jill. Have you checked her profile to see when she was last on already?

*cuddles Mark* Sorry for your loss :( x

*cuddles ward* things are still bad here, luckily I see my counselor tomorrow. Need. And my new bag broke today, only had it 12h :( not happy. My fiance is repairing it though, he can sew, I can't.

Sorry to hear about your Gran Mark :( Least she can rest in peace now *offers hugs*

*hugs ward*

*Gladly accepts Helens and everyone elses hugs*

*leaves hugs and a listening ear*
<3

*Hugs my wardies*
Tea , Taken my meds , Bed soon.

*Hugs Heather* You alright?

Nicole, are you still around?

One day, this self hatred is going to kill me.

*hugs Mark*
*hugs Lia*

I'm so tired. is it the end of the semester yet?

*curls up and sleeps*

*so nervous* I looked around at a couple houses last week and the week before and found one that just felt like home as soon as a walked in! I talked to the Realtor showing it to me, I'm approved to use a VA loan, I have my loan application in to get pre-approved so I can make an offer on the house and NOW I get all nervous. I need to calm my nerves before I get ill but I dunno what to do. Right now as far as the house goes all I can do is wait. GAH!
*sits*
This house if anyone's curious... Hard wood floors, a decent yard, good size rooms... and that kitchen is love!
*looks around*
Hmm anyone around?

*Tiptoes in* hey may i pop in for a while? Hows everyone?

*waves at Monsoon*
Of course you can check in for a bit! Most of us seem worse for the wear these days.. How are you?

Thankyou :waving: feeling rubbish, how are you?

*hugs Monsoon*

Thanks Kitty *Hugs kitty* how are you?

Eh... I'm nervous, and kinda hyper in a way... it's weird. It's like internally I'm going at a million miles a minute and externally everything just drags on...
*erm...forgot earlier... I'm Crimson.

How are you Felicia? *hugs*

*huggles all*

*waves at Monsoon* - Welcome to the ward. I'm Kahlia.

Mark: My condolonces, and many *hugs*.
Crimson: The house looks gorgeous. Can understand your nerves though. Here's some *hugs* and some *good luck wishes* - if you can work out what I mean because I can't find the words I want.

I'm struggling at the moment, but i'm still here. *sigh*

*huggles crimson* that house looks really nice! Hope you hear back soon! Maybe try a nice bath or a walk/exercise to sooth your nerves?

*hugs monsoon* of course you can come in here. Sorry that you are feeling so badly. I'm Laura. *offers some welcome cookies and treats*

*hugs felicia* how r u doing hun? Sorry uni is stressing you out so much. I can't wait for the end of the semester as well.

*hugs lia tight* Hang in there hun. Things will get better.

*hugs heather and helen* how r u two doing?

*hugs sarah* i'm glad your fiance is fixing the bag, its too bad that it broke so soon after getting it. Sorry things aren't going well right now. PM me if you want to talk hun.

*huggles kahlia* Here if you need to talk. I'm glad you are still here.

*offers more hugs to mark*

Just dropping in. *hugs for everyone*

*hugs jess* how r u? Its good to hear from u!

how're you guyss? i love you guys lots :)

*thinks it's time to wander back to the ward and see everyone* *waves*

*hugs mark to start a group hug*:satisfied:

*Joins in group hug* :)

How are you Jess?

Yay group hug! *joins in group hug* :)

I'm okay. Finished with school stuff until February which is nice. Having a bit of trouble with eating stuffs again though. Housemate is certainly not helping that. *sigh*

*hugs everyone, especially mark*
lia-i'm sorry for going offline so suddenly last night, i couldn't face a conversation :( sorry if i made you worry *extra big hugs*

*Joins in group Hug*

I'm just back from my parents, I had to AND wanted to be there for my parents , especially my Mum.

Crimson , I like the House , very cool :)

*squishes mark*
it was nice of you to be there for your parents, but remember to look after yourself too ok? how are you feeling?

My Mum is waiting for my grandmas Death Certificate , she can't organise ANYTHING without it and it can take days FFS.
I'm numb woth bouts of tearfulness today but I have 2 meetings today and Sharron my Nurse said I could go there ANYTIME expet 12.30 - 1pm if I needed her support to talk to or anything which is SO nice of her. I have a great support network and I include you guys in that , you've been so grea with me , Thankyou .It may be stateing the obvious butI think I'm going to be a bit fragile over the next few weeks so bear with me please.

I'm Self debating writing in the berevement thread here on RYL, Has anyone done this in the past, are they nice and helpful ?

*hugs* i'm glad you have such a good support network mark, please use it and dont just hide away from things. and of course we are all here for you and we are all gonna support you through this *hugs*
i don't know about the bereavment thread, as i have never been on there, but there's no harm in posting, and if you think it could help, go for it.x

http://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum...53#post2559253

I posted this in the greif thred , If anyone wants to look at it and comment it would be nice , I get the feeling that it is a VERY slow moving thread .

Like I say in that post I think I've got shock a little :S

*hugs ward* Nice to see it so busy

Ian, welcome to the ward :D

*hugs jess* im sorry that you are struggling with eating stuff. Can you tell your housemate that she/he is not helping you? finishing school must be exciting!

*joins group hug with lia, kaytee, julie, and nicole*

*hugs mark* i posted in your other thread, but here if you need to talk too.

*hugs helen* how r u?

Off to class now, be back in awhile.

*Hugs everyone.*

Mark, Nicole's right, we're always here for you. I see today's also the 9th. I hope you're alright with that as well. *Hugs*

Don't worry Nicole, at least you're alright :) How are you today?

*Hugs Laura* Have fun in class (slight oxymoron there).

*Hugs Helen* How are you?

*Hugs Katie* Hey :)

*Hugs Jess* I'm sorry about your room mate. What is it he/she's doing to make things awkward for you?

*Hugs Heather* You alright today?

Wow, that's a lot of hugs.

*hugs Laura and Lia*

I'm okay, bit stressed. Supposed to be starting my placement on Thursday. However, my CRB check is yet to arrive & I phoned my placement (after finally getting in touch with my placement officer) to find the person I need to speak to isn't in today. FML!!!

*hugs everyone*
*hides*

Thanks Khalia and Laura I know exactly what you were saying Kahlia :)
*hugs you both*

*joins the group hug*

*hugs everyone*
can't today just be friday already?

*Hugs Crimson*

*Hugs Nicole*

*Hugs Laura*

*Hugs Lia* Today is indeed the 9th but what with the grief and emotions all thoughts of "my plan" had gone out of my mine until tonight .
My social worker is going to call my mobile at 8pm to check I'm okay andmy nurse Sharron is going to leave her work mobile on tonight in case I need to ring her . People are so caring .

Thanks Helen :) glad your ok. *Hugs for everyone*

*hugs mark* i'm glad you have so much support for tonight, i realised earlier about the date, but didnt wanna say anything in the hope that you had forgotten. :/ hope you're feeling ok.
eugh. i told my indiviual therapist about my plans. she....well, she didnt take it too well :(

I'm running a bath , I need a bath , Not because I honk too much but to relax me a bit , I don't know why I'm telling you all this , The ward is empty and I'm a bit lonely , My social worker just called so I'm no longer waiting for the call and can be away from my phone and in the bath :)