cuddles all. thanks mark and bunnymaz for the hugs.
sorry i never replied before now, went for a long shower, to try and came me down a bit. then had to head out to pay bills. my heads a bit off a mess tonight.just want to hide, and shut out the world. =[

*cuddles jill* sorry, cant really offer much more than that tonight :(

the dimple piercings, mark?

her going to a&e wouldn't hurt but at this point i don't know that they can do something other than check how much damage was done, nicole.

there's also anti-eyebrow piercings that are on the cheekbone typically.

Yes Nicole I think your friend should go and get her system checked out , whatever she took will be through her system by now but her liver or other insides could be damaged so I think she should err on the side of caution .

Yes Crimson !!! Those exact piercings , I've not seen them before .Thanks for the link :

No problem :D glad I could help

*cuddles everyone* yeah i wish I wasn't so hard on myself. I got a date tonight though so it makes this week better even though I have so much work due.

Good luck on your date Josh :) Is the guy on the right of your sig the (Name escapes me right now) Lead Singer of Bullet for my valentine?

Matt Tuck. And yes, thats his band. Awesome band. New CD was killer.
Thanks, I hope it goes well i really like this girl =]

ward is moving faster again... which is good! but i can't seem to keep up right now.

*hugs everyone* my PM box is open if anyone needs to talk.

*Huggles Laura*

*hugs mark* how are you? This was like 3 pages ago but, Im sorry that your meds keep getting messed up all the time. Thats so ridiculous and puts extra stress on you that you don't need.

*Hugs Laura* Well I went to the pharmacy and asked if they had any meds for me and .........yes! they did , so someone put in for my meds but it wasn't me hmmmm I'm still feeling okay which is weird when I've felt crap for so long.
How are you Laura?

hmm.. well at least you got your meds.. did maybe one of your doctors call it in? I'm glad you are feeling okay, hold onto that feeling!

I wish I was feeling better than I am. I'm feeling kinda hopeless about the future, which is totally the wrong attitude to have. I guess i'm just worried that my plans for after graduation won't work out the way I want them too... Just thinking a lot about this stuff i guess as I made my appointment for my last uni adviser meeting yesterday.

I think it must have been my Psych Dr calling it through , at least I got my meds yes .
^^^ I've been feeling hopeless about my furture a lot too , I don't think it's a matter of your attitude though Laura , It's the way you feel and you shoulden't be too hard on yourself about it , Hmm I mean that to sound comforting and well.....to let you know you're not alone, I hope it comes over as such

I know what you mean Mark. I'm sorry you're feeling hopeless as well. I just feel like i won't ever be the person that I picture in my head. Or that moving next august will not be all that I need it to be. I always hold onto things that fall through far too easily. I dunno... I describe the feeling as an "impending sense of doom" to people who ask about it. But its probably just because its all unknown right now i guess.

Sorry, this probably doesnt make sense at all.

It makes scary amount of sense Laura , I'm worried ....well worried is the wrong word , downright frightened by the future , about housing and meds and my mental health and not being that "Person in my head"

On a different and slightly selfish note I'd just like to say as of tonight I've gone 2 whole days S.I. free :)

*hugs mark* great job!!!! :-)

a lot of people worry about the future though right? i mean i would think this is at least a semi-normal thing... i hope. Anyway, while i do have this "impending sense of doom" feeling, I also am still holding onto the hope that it could be better. I mean you always hear those stories of people's lives who turned out amazing. I want to feel amazing. I want you and everyone else in here to feel amazing as well.

congrats mark :D

Laura I bet concerns about the future is very very normal indeed , I reckon your life will work out amazing :) I hope it does *Hugs Laura*

*Hugs Crimson*

Thankyou both :)

I better get to bed , you okay here Laura? , I kind of feel I'm abandoning you, I'll stay if you want for a bit :)

*huggles all*

Congrats on the two days free Mark. :-)
- JK: Nice to see you drop by and I hope you managed to get some sleep. :-)

Sorry for the lack of individuals, the brain isn't fully functional yet and the ward started to pick up again.

A person IRL sent me a link to this YouTube vid and in a way I wish it for all of you so I want to share it with you all. It is a country song, so feel free not to watch, but also feel free to look at the lyrics. Or not, it's a "free world". :-p

*hugs everyone* just stopping by again, hope everyone is doing good. =]

Awesome Mark, keep up the good work! *hugs*

Sorry I went away guys, I've been concentrating on my knitting to keep my brain where it should be and it is far too easy to lose many, many hours to it!

Mark, well done on the SI, every day is a victory worth celebrating *hug*

Laura, worrying about the future is fairly normal, which is good! A bit of normal, human worrying about the future is perfectly healthy if you ask me.

*hugs mark* it was ok that you went to bed, no worries. hope you are sleeping well.

*hugs kahlia* im not a huge fan of country music but the lyrics are good :-) hope you are feeling a little better.

*hugs bunny* hope you managed to stay safe.

*hugs josh* good luck on your date tonight. hope you are doing okay.

*hugs crimson* how r u doing?

I had to step out for class... now on a half hour break before my super boring night class.. tuesdays put me to sleep heh.

*cuddles wardies*

Tuesdays are so full of stress for me. I was late up, the weather was awful, I couldn't afford food today, my bus was stopped and diverted due to a fire, my lecturer is inconsiderate and uncompassionate to my problems physically and mentally and I had an exhausting walk home in the rain. My counsellor was unhappy with me because I SI'd this week and my fiance doesn't understand why I can't stand up to my mum. Sometimes I wish I could just shut myself away and hide for a while, just me and my mind, like a turtle. Man I wish I could be a turtle. Turtles are cool.

...all in all I figure about the same as you with the future worrying. *nods*
How's class going?

well, big snuggly goodnight hugs to all of you who accept them.

I'm going to go snuggle into my nest, I mean my bed, stick some calming music on my headphones and try and encourage the cats to join me.

Night all :smurf:

night night bunny :)

Feeling lonely so I'm going to bed, night wardies *cuddles*

night night Sarah.

*pounces* I spy an Oliver!

hi lovelies <3
ergh. am ill =[

*cuddles heather* feel better!

Date was good, helped get my mind off of a lot, but at the same time it triggered a lot in me. ugh remind me not to see a movie about being in a ward when i'm stressed ever again.

awhhh.

*cuddles* I need to be held right now. =/

*hugs josh* im sorry that you were triggered on your date but glad that it went well other than that. here if you want to talk about anything.

*cuddles heather*

*hugs sarah* sounds like you have a lot going on right now. try to do something nice for yourself hun. Go for a long walk, take a relaxing bath, go to a movie. Hope that you got some sleep.

*hugs crimson* o wow, that sounds like its confusing. Do you have any idea when they are making the decisions about who they are interviewing? Which do feel you want to do more? I know awhile ago you seemed like you really wanted to get out of your current situation... if you need to vent feel free to message me.

Class was long and boring. Just feeling really thoughtful now about everything. On the upside, I won't SI tonight, I don't feel the need to do that at all.

Laura: I'm not into country music either - but the lyrics hit me so I thought I'd share

*huggles everybody*

Yeah, it definitely has some good lyrics. I have heard that song before and I've always liked what it has to say (despite my aversion to the country sound lol). How r u doing? *hugs*

*Hugs Laura*

*Hugs Crimson*

*Hugs TheSuffererComplex* Forgot your name , sorry , remind me ?

*Hugs Josh*

*Hugs Heather*

*Hugs Sarah*

*Hugs Bunny*

*Hugs Kahlia* I used to own that song , it's nice if you're in a country mood :)

Cuddles everbody. I can't do this, they win, they win. Curls up

Laura: Well I'm still alive, and my R arm is still attached .... How are you hun? *big hugs*

Mark: Yeah, it's a good song, and the lyrics are great. How are you doing? *huggles*

*Hugs Jill*

*Hugs Kahlia*I don't know how I'm doing , my mind is on the fence , will I have a decent day or will it be crap? OR will it stay hovering in the middle ground all numb ?

I feel I should mark today somehow , it's my 1st anniversary of moving out of my parents today , I should buy a poster to decourate the flat or something, I still don't feel like this is my home , it's a 2 year fixed tenancy so I'm super aware that I shoulden't settle in too much . hmmm what would you guys all do to mark 1 year in your new flat ?

*hides* i give up i give up i give up!

Mark: *hugs back* Sorry to hear you are in the numb middle ground. I hope you manage to have a good day. Perhaps a poster would be good to mark the anniversary. We made our mark on this flat but in truth that was by bringing our computers into it. Once we placed our computer desks in the lounge rooms the whole place sort of felt more "ours". Maybe a photo that you like could go on the fridge or something like that - it doesn't have to be something big, just something that you like to reinforce things you like and do and so forth? Sorry, that probably sounds dense. :-S

*Hugs Nicole* Whats the matter hun?

Kahlia, That doesen't sound dense at all , good ideas :)

*hugs mark* i'm just fed up of feeling low all the time and not being able to concentrate and i've SI'd two days in a row now :(

Bloody Hell! My Housing Support worker just said to me (To make conversation I think) "Do you ever want to get married?, On the other hand you might be on of the people who are never married and never find someone ." DAMN! if there are no issues with the tenancy that I need supporting with **** OFF instead of depressing me with that kind of talk, I'm alone enough as it is and lonely , STUPID STUPID STUPID!

cuddles all, feel very numb right now. curls up. whoa that was stuiped, you okay mark. cuddles

*Hugs Jill* I'm sorry you feel numb :( I had to take A Diazepam and am feeling more calm but man could I go for a drink right about now but I can't have alcohol on Antabuse , it's a horrible experience. Just work a little bit more Diaz .......please.