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-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

zowie 14-07-2009 02:00 PM

I will spend the day in the smoking shelter *nods* Care to join me Hayley?

This afternoon I'm having a BBQ with my dad and sister nomnomnom

MammaMia 14-07-2009 04:44 PM

Sorry I haven't been around much this past week, I've been so poorly. I came home yesterday, two days later than orginally planned but it gave me & Jade the opportunity to get out the house and do some of what was orginally planned (but not set in stone) when dicussing the trip anyway.

However, I've been crying pretty much nearly every waking moment since Friday afternoon, well evening. Poor Jade must be so sick of it, I know I am, it's beginning to send me in asthma/panic attacks now :S I almost got to the point of cutting last night (despite having not done it in nearly two weeks) just to shut myself up and sleep. Really really struggling to sleep at the moment, espically last night, but then I was trying to sleep at 10.30, something my body hasn't done in so long. But I am so exhausted. Although I was asleep around 12.30am and slept until nearly 11am, even if I woke couple of times during the night.

Still really poorly and very low. So fed up of it now. Doesn't help certain things either. Just shoot me? Or give me a new body until mine feels healthy again???? I haven't eaten a full dinner, let alone a proper one, since last Sunday (not two days ago, but the one before that). I miss it. I tried last night with garlic bread, pizza & potato waffles, barely ate it and lost my temper with mum.

I'm so ****ing frusrated to the point I'm crying...AGAIN!!!!

CrazyHayley 14-07-2009 05:52 PM

*hands Helen big box of tissues* Oh sweetie, its horrid when you feel so ill and can't stop crying. I know I wonder how I don't dehydrate from all the tears somehow. Wish I could wave magic wand for you to make you better, but instead you'll have to settle for a huggle *huggles Helen*

Kahlia - good news on the progress on your shoulder so far, was wondering where you'd gotten to! Thats so shitty the police sedning you a fine for something that was out of your control!! Its not like you thought "oh I'm gonna have a seizure in a lil bit, so I think I'll go out in my car and cause a crash" stupid stupid police fine system. I'm glad your flatmates were there to help you through the urges to cut, well done on overcoming them! *huggles*

*huggles Shadowseraph* glad you liked the group huggle. I didn't end up seeing family today as staying clear of the town they live in as Swine Flu has just killed a man there!! And my father works in the hospital and my immune system is comprimised, so I really don't fancy taking my chances, life seems to have it in for me enough without me putting myself into situations like that, lol!!! Hope the voices have quietened down now and I'm sure you're parents aren't getting fed up of you at all. Hang in there.

*huggles ShadowedSoul* I hope you've stayed safe. Please don't hate yourself and punish yourself with cutting (though I know I've done that a thousand times over, so easier said than done) but we in here don't hate you and we don't want you to be unsafe. Talk to us and we may be able to help? Or if its a lot thats going on, perhaps start a thread or go into distractions?

*huggles dayna/todlich* hope you're feeling less spacey now. And can I just say, what do you want to be called now? Have you changed your name?! Cos I'm sure you were dayna but now you're todlich? CrazyHayley is confuzzled....

*huggles Katie* Glad the pickle with your essay got sorted out. We'll look forward to you posting more again once you've completed the assignment. Hope it goes ok for you. What are you studying by the way?

*huggles Jazz* I'm glad you had a safe couple of days away with your horses, sounds like it did you the world of good. I'm pleased for you.

*goes out to the smoking shelter to find Arwen for a fag and a huggle*

zowie 14-07-2009 05:55 PM

*Smokes and hugs Hayley*

Kahlia1981 14-07-2009 07:01 PM

*hugs all*

YodaBearInterrupted 14-07-2009 07:01 PM

*sits in the corner*

I don't want to go to the psych... blah. *huggles to everyone in here*

Eclectica 14-07-2009 07:07 PM

I iwsh the core hadn't done that damane, I still feel bad and my arm is in agony

lolly_x 14-07-2009 07:11 PM

i'm fed up...
i'm tired i'm run down i can't talk
i can't say whats wrong
the past is coming back with me and i hate it
suppose meet will be good tomorow :)
11 of us going so its all cool

but i still feel all shitty. i wanna scream

lolly_x 14-07-2009 07:25 PM

oh yeh i wanna cut but yet have not done it in 4 months nearly

MammaMia 14-07-2009 07:46 PM

*wishes she give you all hugs but doesn't want to pass whatever she's got onto you all*

Thanks for the hugs though Hayley :) It's a wonder I've not fallen into dehydration again (was VERY dehydrated on thursday) from all the crying. Have cried today, but not so much which is a start righht???

<runs into denial tent and says everything's finnnnnnne>

lolly_x 14-07-2009 07:53 PM

i'll probably end up crying by the nights over and crying by annoy me greatly i'm sick and tired of everything going on. i just want at least one good thing to happen supposably it will be tomorow where i can show my fake smiles off to a good lot of people...!!!!! college show round tomorow and i'm scared shitless...

shadowedseraph 14-07-2009 09:50 PM

*hugs haley* thanks for the huggles sweetheart i hope you are keeping ok!

*hugs MamaMia* i'm not afraid of your germs :)

*hugs lolly_x* 4 months nearly without cutting is a huge acheivement you should be proud ! i'm sure you'll manage the college tour thing just take deep breaths and tell yourself you can do this (hypocrit i know)

Damnation. 14-07-2009 11:50 PM


Originally Posted by CrazyHayley (Post 1746863)
*huggles dayna/todlich* hope you're feeling less spacey now. And can I just say, what do you want to be called now? Have you changed your name?! Cos I'm sure you were dayna but now you're todlich? CrazyHayley is confuzzled....

Not official/legal name change. Just feels like who I used to be's faded away/died/whatever, so I call mysel Tödlich now. Seems more fitting. Not been spacey today thankfully, but super depressed instead. Bleck D:

*Safe hugs to Kx and everyone else in the ward*

Kahlia1981 15-07-2009 08:20 AM

*sends safe hugs to everyone she can find*

PapaBear 15-07-2009 10:47 AM

I see that a bunch of people aren't doing too great today, so before I send another round of hugs, love, and positive energy, I want to share part of a letter I received from a very dear friend today. I put it in a new thread in the distractions board, but I don't know if all of you look there, so I'll cross-post it here. I feel as though it applies to everyone, not just the youngsters on their way to adulthood, and not just people who SH, but those who just struggle to reach the dawn of each new day.

Growing up in this dangerous world is full of surprises, and is a very difficult thing.
How will you ever live up to the promise of what the future holds? You've shown by example that you will overcome life's obstacles, and you are growing up to be the wonderful person that you should be.

I encourage you to accept every challenge with hope and strength, and to always do your best. Set goals. Be truthful to others and yourself, and try to forgive. Through love you will live and move on. Take on adventures with your chin lifted and your eyes open wide. To steady the journey, enjoy the ride and not just the destination. Seek passion, love, inner beauty, and self acceptance. Keep dreams and loved ones close to your heart.

Please celebrate failures with just one more try. I promise you can do anything you set your mind to. Be in control. Remember all the great things in life that money can't buy. Give back to the earth more than you take. A radiant smile from you is all that anyone asks.

Through heartbreak, pain, and experience you will be able to learn from everything, and help others as well. Be childlike, laugh often, and never turn back. Feel free to cry whenever you need to. Tears are the heart's way of bringing relief. No one will ask questions when you've made up your mind. Keep your foot firmly on the ground. Listen to your heart, and you will never go wrong. Above all, remember that love never dies.

Then at the end, as you walk your last mile, looking back on your life with a well-earned smile ... Recall all the faces that helped light the way. Give thanks for their love, and remember each day that you are unique & loved very much. You may not believe it, but someone is always thinking of you, and hoping you're alright. If you have doubts, please think of me. You share my passions, dreams, and love of life. Keep that smile on your face that I love, and never change who you are for anyone or anything. You are special just because you are you, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

I just wanted you to know that I care, and you have my love. Thank you for being you, and remember:
you will always have my shoulder to cry on, my ears to listen, and my heart to care.

And now, I send you all my love, give everyone several *MASSIVE HUGS*, and send all the positive energies I have (which after reading that letter, is a LOT of positivity) and leave a large tray of sweets and pastries, and several pots of various kinds of tea and hot chocolate. There's a pile of fresh pillows and blankets under the serving table for anyone who wants them.

Be safe, be strong, and know that I love you all dearly.:kiss: :satisfied:

zowie 15-07-2009 12:23 PM

Thanks for sharing Jazz :)

I'm going to see Harry Potter today. Woop!

Hope everyone's okay.
*Leaves hugs for everyone*

shadowedsoul 15-07-2009 12:32 PM

thanks for the hugs hayley. hmm really treid to stay safe, didnt happen tho, and now were i cut is a mess again. not sure what set it all off, no matter what i did that day. it went wrong.from things going wrong at work, noithing would go right that day. hugs jazz,that made me smile,thank you hun.

MammaMia 15-07-2009 02:58 PM

I'm sooooooooo bored out of my skull of being ill :'[

shadowedseraph 15-07-2009 05:21 PM

*hugs jazz* thats lovely :) whoever wrote that must be a dear friend

*hugs zowie* you'll have to tell me what its like it looks awesome

*hugs shadowedsoul* we all slip up and having a bad day is trigger enough, keep trying though *more hugs*

*hugs MammaMia* I know that feeling well

shadowedsoul 15-07-2009 07:49 PM

argh!!!! i cant do this tonight im so stressed, goes to a corner puts a blanket over my head and hide, starts shaking. im not here, jill not here.

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