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blue_cloud 08-08-2008 03:43 PM

hun you need to at least let you dad know how beth is being, i would give NHS direct a call or even phone a&e see if they won't you to come in xx
hi shadow sometimes its easy to fall into who we 'pretend' to be

blondiebear 08-08-2008 04:27 PM

I'm back to black, grey, purple and lavender.

Except tomorrow which is the company picnic for Philip. The shirt i'm planning to wear is grey, but it is about the 200th anniversary of Lewis and Clark's "voyage of discovery" For people like Philip and I it is just a way of showing we are willing to be sociable and that we have manners.

*hugs everyone*

*Goes off to comb wet hair*

Auburn Shadow 08-08-2008 05:40 PM

Right, hopefully I'll be heading home within the next 20 mins. just waiting for my lift to finish. After that, probably won't be online until Monday at the earliest because we have family visiting and I can't stay on the laptop much because I keep passing out and I get scared that I'll knock it off and break it. Hopefully I'll have sorted the passing out by tuesday though, so everything should be ok.

Anyways enough of the essay just wanted to leave a big bag full of *hugs* for everyone over the weekend and I hope you're all doing ok.

~*forever_broken*~ 08-08-2008 07:38 PM

*sits in her corner, knees drawn to her chest, arms around her knees, chin on knees and thinks...*

Other than lousy I have no idea what I am feeling... blank... numb... hollow... I don't have a clue :confused:

1ofmany 08-08-2008 08:51 PM

Hey everyone. *gives out blankets and yummies*

Please stay safe all.

Feeling empty today except for empathy.

horizon_surfer 08-08-2008 09:09 PM

i told my therapist stuff today, almost everything i'd been trying to work out how to say .. and his response was immensely disappointing. i give up on it all. whats the point anymore? theres no point in trying to mould myself to what they want when they can't even see when im asking for help.

1ofmany 08-08-2008 09:22 PM

You can only change when you are ready...I am not very good with therapists and cant really offer you any advice but i will be thinking about you.

Auburn Shadow 08-08-2008 10:10 PM

*hugs everyone*

good mood, crashed. Now I would like nothing more than to cut. But I'm stubborn. Dad told me to go slash my wrists (his words, not mine) so I'm not. But I need to do something.

~*forever_broken*~ 08-08-2008 11:15 PM

Good LORD! :Gasp:
*cuddles you*

1ofmany 08-08-2008 11:20 PM

Why the hell would someone say that? I had someone say something similar once...and i found out someone very close to me had said somthing worse but whatever this is about you!
Glad your stubborn and not doing it! *sending positive energys*

Auburn Shadow 08-08-2008 11:26 PM

Thanks guys. I've resisted so far, well I've had god only knows how many cigarettes, squashed too many flies, and considered scratching the hell out of my wallpaper, but no cutting. It's too tempting though... almost like I'm reverting to the old me, the me that just does whatever she's told... I... I was fighting the urges as it was, but since he said that.... they've multiplied fourfold.


BoundNoMore 08-08-2008 11:31 PM

I Am So ****in Stressed Out!!!!!! I Need... To Do Something....bad...to Feel Relief And Make My Head Stop Yelling At Me!!!!!!!!!!

Auburn Shadow 08-08-2008 11:45 PM

*hugs* what happened sweetheart?

BoundNoMore 08-08-2008 11:47 PM

I posted about it...

Auburn Shadow 08-08-2008 11:51 PM

*hugs* sorry I've been too ****ing self absorbed tonight I haven't been paying attention like I normally would, and my parents are home, so I dunno if I can stay on here.

crap. they're home. they're yelling at me. They've got visitors ****s sake. Doesn't matter to them, apparently. Dad wants to know how much damage I did. See if he approves of it. he won't. I didn't do anything. Now he's going to help me along. Does it count as SH if he does it and it makes me feel better?

1ofmany 08-08-2008 11:53 PM

If we are being technical isnt that masochism (so failed at spelling). But while we are on that subject...does going to the gym and working out till your sore all over and know you will be stiff and in pain the next morning count as SI?

~*forever_broken*~ 09-08-2008 12:00 AM

That would make your dad the sadist and you the masochist... But those terms usually aren't used out side of a sexual concept.

Hunni, WHAT is up with your dad?!

Detour. Derail 09-08-2008 12:02 AM

He's being a jerk...like most dads...

sorry :/...
I'll be shushing now

~*forever_broken*~ 09-08-2008 12:20 AM

Well, I understand about dads being asses but this is a bit much

Detour. Derail 09-08-2008 12:24 AM

I can fully sympathise though...my parents have said similar things and its so awful...but you are better than he is hunni...
im proud of you for staying strong!!

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