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irkeninvader 17-06-2008 11:32 PM

*hugs you* How come you're ignoring your CPN? Maybe it would help to talk to her? Have a good day tomorrow :) Sleep well, look after yourself

MammaMia 18-06-2008 12:26 AM


Originally Posted by irkeninvader (Post 857992)
Oh yeah... :laugh: Erm... I was convinced it was Monday :blink:

Bah! I don't know what's wrong with me if I don't even know what day it is.

Sleep well! Have fun with Emma tomorrow!

Bless you sweetheart. Don't worry...I don't know half of the time what day it is either...shows u how much I need structure hehe :P I will have fun. I can't sleeeep :(


Originally Posted by Pomegranate (Post 857995)
Back from A&E. Stitches in both wrists on top of Saturdays lot. Great. My CPN has been trying to call me. I am ignoring her. Going to go to bed soon and hopefully wake up either a different person or with a new perspective on life, at least I'm seeing Hells tomorrow.

I dunno if you'll see this or not hun but hugggggge hugs for tonight and I'll give you some tomorrow :] ly xx

UGGGGGGH. I am getting so frusrated at not sleeping :crying:

blondiebear 18-06-2008 12:42 AM

Welcome farawayfairy.
*Hugs all around* I'm dingy today, sorry.

I did have the ice cream with breakfast. So I guess that means I should have cereal for dinner. Husband can have the last of his pizza, different flavor from mine.

I did some step work with my sponsor before the meeting today. "Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it." So there is still some stuff pending there. It is so raw and uncertain that I'm not ready to talk about it yet. No worries though. My sponsor is a love who gets tough with me when needed.

Smarties 18-06-2008 02:28 AM


I am new here. I came here because i recongised a name- Blondiebear.

So i am a male and i am 20. I am not a self harmer but i am here to help my little sister.

MammaMia 18-06-2008 03:03 AM

*hugs everyone*

I want to cry aswell.
Fu*k's sake :(

Pomegranate 18-06-2008 03:07 AM

Why do you want to cry? Have you tried turning off the laptop so its not some temptation?

MammaMia 18-06-2008 03:20 AM

I swear I did, for nearly an hour but I'm too wide awake :(
I want to be sick :S
I wanna cry because things are getting to me. Pls I'mf ed up of having down days when I've been do ****ing down lately.
Can I just have happiness last longer than a week please?

Pomegranate 18-06-2008 03:33 AM

One day you will. One day you will sit up and suddenly realise you can't remember the last time you had a down day. Have you spoken to Newman about getting help when you get there?
The sick feeling may be because you are so tired sweetie. *hugs*

MammaMia 18-06-2008 03:43 AM

I hope you're right yet again Em.

No I haven't, Jane's been emailing them about it as part of dicussions abot my learning support needs..

Yeah, but I actally want to make myself sick. Not a good idea. I hate throwing up so thats hy I haven;t.

Damm why can't I cry myself to sleep :(

Pomegranate 18-06-2008 03:45 AM

Don't make yourself sick hun, your right it isn't a good idea.
Glad Jane is sorting things for you, she sounds really nice.
I am going to try and sleep now, but will see you in a few hours ok? Try to get some rest! Don't want a grumpy Hells :P xxx

MammaMia 18-06-2008 03:55 AM

I won't hun.
Yeah I might email the counselling team myself, Idk yet :S
Jane is pretty amazing, words don't describe her. She's just done so much and I've must have scared her a million times and stressed her a bit, which is noooot good when one is pregnant. But nope, she's stood by me all year.
Okay sweetheart. Me grumpy? Naaaah :P I'll probs fall asleep soon :]

blondiebear 18-06-2008 04:38 AM

Smarties, should I feel nervous or flattered?

My heart aches cause my home group aa meeting is closing, dissolving, disbanding. I phoned central office today to find out about what to do. Still need to do some more housekeeping about it though. I'm sitting here with my stuffed pig Fredfred tucked in my elbow.

My sponsor has strongly suggested what meeting I'll go to with her instead. This is another loss that in the end will be a beneficial change.

Because this Thursday will be the last meeting, I have a job I need to do tomorrow so I can get it back to her by Thursday. I haven't even looked at it. Well, either that will keep me out of my head or the curtains will be salt stained. That's what bandannas are for.

Sorry, not supporting much tonight.

*hugs all around*

blondiebear 18-06-2008 08:25 AM

Yeah, I see that I was the last one to post. Sometimes I do talk too much.

I got some info today that is infuriating and saddening me at the same time. I'd like to do violence to a couple of people. Since I can't that means I want to go inwards. I can't get violent. I can't shriek what I want to shriek.

Sorry all, violence is part of my heritage. Sometimes the best I can do is just accept it and let it roll through me without having to act on it. Without having to act on it. I am afraid that when I see one of the women on Thursday that I will dish out to her some of the nonsense that it seems she has been so kind to give me.
That Is not who I want to be.

I'll have to go back and read pages 66 and 67 about anger. Easy to remember and quite ironic since 1966 is when I was born.

Talk to me please?

Auburn Shadow 18-06-2008 09:47 AM

*hugs susan*

I'm sorry sweetie, I don't know what to say. I'm sorry your AA home group is closing, but it's good your sponsor suggested another meeting to go to.

You don't talk too much sweetie, that's what this place is for. Keep talking if it helps you.


Auburn Shadow 18-06-2008 09:55 AM

Oh, and welcome, smarties, :)

zowie 18-06-2008 11:14 AM

I quit my job!!

Auburn Shadow 18-06-2008 11:16 AM

Good on you zowie!

*huge hugs* Proud of you sweetheart.

MammaMia 18-06-2008 11:34 AM

Yaaaaaay Zowie :)

I've had a crappy night's sleep but least I'm seeing Emma today :]

Kuwairo 18-06-2008 11:34 AM

Go you Zowie!

How are you Hana?

Have fun with Emma, Helen =) Can you not do anything to help you sleep a bit better?

I'm still feeling anxious after my trip to the doctors =( I saw a stranger and I thought I was seeing someone I knew and I had to tell him that I've hated the meds and ****ed my hand up and ARGH.

MammaMia 18-06-2008 11:37 AM

I will sweetheart. Emma is coming at 12, so I have just over an hour to get ready and go downstairs to wait (so I can see the road!).

Proud of you for going to the doctors hun. I know how stressful appointments can be. I get really anxious at mine too. *snuggles*

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