*snuggles Zowie, offers stuffed lamb and/or cat cuddles -as my cat is pretty cuddly atm-*
Live without who luv?

*snuggles Ally*

Did you see my other post to you hun?

*snuggles Helen back*
About meds? Yeah, just loading up on caffeine instead. By the time I start to benefit from the meds again it'll all be over so... Yeah.

How goes it all? Pretty quiet here today.

*returns to her reading on sexual sadism- ah the life of a psychology student*

I cried... Six days without any of my meds and I cried. Not like I wanted to but I haven't even been able to come close in quite a while now... Ok, actually I didn't get any tears out at all but I came close... They were there.. God, why can't I just cry?! I so want to:crying:

*sneaks in unseen*

*hugs forever lost* you okay hun?

*spots Alexx* ah-hah!

no..you didnt spot me...I'm not worth existance..im not here....*hides under a blanket*

*shrugs* I'm just... *sigh* I don't know, probably my fault for being off my meds for almost a week... I'll live, I suppose... Hmmm, darn.

*throws a pillow at Alexx* 'sup luv?

Ah, but the blanket you are under just happened to be in my corner and now you're stuck *snuggles* what's wrong hun?

*cries and huggles her big sis*
I dont want to feel sad anymore...I want him to realise...he either wants me or he doesnt..i cant keep switching between him blowing hot and cold all the time...but i dont want to give up incase i miss out on a chance...
I want to feel loved....I dont want to be single anymore...I cant function when im on my own because im that ****ing pathetic...if he'd just TEXT me....just to say night....I'd feel so much better...but he didnt.
I dont think anyone cares....
Im one of those people who cant be loved...
maybe if i was thinner, prettier, less arhumentitative....anything...maybe if I change...itll all be better...

God....a few days ago...I was stood on the 5th floor of a car park...feeling the wind in my hair...I could have jumped....

I should have...

*rocks*

I'm glad you didn't.

Oh hun *snuggles Alexx*
Sounds to me like he needs a good swift kick in the pants. It also sounds like you need to take a better look in the mirror. You don't need to be prettier or thinner or anything else like that. You are already beautiful and certainly thin enough. Sweetie it seems to me that it is his problem... However you are the one feeling the loss. He'll recognise it in time but by then it will be too late as you will have realised your worth and become able to move on and find someone better, someone worthy because they see you for the treasure you are.

*snuggles again* and I agree with Jess... I am glad you didn't jump.

I...just...I just don't know. I just can't...I don't want to anymore. I can't keep doing this forever. I can't. But I can't change either, I don't know how to. I'm sick of this.
*goes back to trying to study Homer, Virgil, Milton and Walcott*


....... *sigh*

Crap, ****. I also just accidentally sent an email of me whining by accident to my mental health co-ordinator. Just typing what I felt before deleting it to write the actual point of what I wanted to say but instead of deleting it I accidentally sent it. She is going to think I am completely mental. Damn it. Can't bloody do anything right.

*snuggles Emma* I'm sorry sweetie, I wish I could offer some advice but I've got nothing. I understand though. *passes her wine to Emma before returning to her books and articles on paraphelias* ah, sexual abnormalities:pinch: just what I want to be studying atm... Well, at least these folks are more ****ed up than we are *shrug*

Ah fair enough. *snuggles*

I know how that feels and how frusrating it is. I need to cry and haven't in ages. Yet when I have a good cry, I know it won't happen for ages...

I'm glad you didn't Alex. *snuggles lots*

*hugs lots and lots if you want them*

Maybe this wil help you in the long run hun? There's been times where I've written things out to people and wishing I had sent them...but I've sent an email before to Julie....wishing I hadn't at the time...but now I'm glad I did.

Thanks Ally..and Jess *hugs you both*

I've just gone from being morbidly depressed....crying in the dark and planning an escape...to sitting smiling to myself...I mean....WHATTHEHELL

scaryscaryscary film with a suicidal kid. Oh noes.

Me...? I'm empty and still wanna die. But beginning to really look forward to Emma's party and finding out if I'm a supporter. If I'm not...it'll make next week ten times worse >.< GAH!

Let me go.

Alex, you watching that film on ITV? I've just turned it on :S

*hugs everyone who wants/needs*
Don't have much time on here just now, but wanted to make sure everyone's ok (as can be) and I'll be back in about an hour or so to talk.

Take care guys.

xxx