*Hugs Oliver*

*Hugs Matt*

Ok... I guess it's ironic that I am here. Just recently had Psych clinicals... most definitely one of my favorite types of clinicals for school so far. Maybe because I am so vested in it? Idk. It was a great experience, but I just kept thinking to myself that I had no right to be trying to coach psych inpatients when I still haven't figured my own stuff out. I kept thinking that, by every right, I should be locked up in there too. THat if someone were to see through me, they wouldn't have let me leave the building. I just go on hoping that I find a way out of my life, and that I didn't mess up any of theirs. It was therapeutic in a way, to talk to the patients, and help them work out treatment plans, and goals, to separate myself for a while, but in the end, did I have the right to be a fake, to wear my mask, and tell them not to hide, not to keep their emotions closed in, to help them heal, while I cannot?
Now I am just overly anxious. I felt like I was going to explode while I was there, but at the same time, I was so calm outside. It was comfortable to be there with them, to try and make a difference, to see the people who were healing. It was beautiful.
And now I am rambling. sorry

You are not a fake Mousie *Huggles*

*hugs Mousie*

I keep coming so close to losing it... its like looking at the precipice and not falling... I am tired of standing on the edge. Eventually, I guess I will have to let go and see where it takes me I guess. I am tired of being pushed around, told to do stuff like I am a little kid at work (I am one of the youngest at where I work, so that's why lol. Most of the staff is older than me.) I am tired of having to bail people out, and stuff at home is making me rage. I don't have anywhere to go with it. I have resisted so far turning it against myself, but that won't last much longer >.<

*hugs Mousie* You are actually the perfect person to help them if you think about it. You know more of what they are going through than most people who see them. Not a fake. Not at all.

*hugs Mark and everyone else who's been in of late*

excuse me while i have a total meltdown *hides in a corner and lets go of the rest of my mind*

*Hugs Matt*

*Hugs Mousie*

*Hugs Crimson*

hugs everyone

*Squishes Louise*

*hugs everyone*

I really can't be bothered with life any more.

*Smurks Lindsay*

seeking shelter from myself. Since I can't check into my local ward at this time, here will do for now.

*curls up in a ball on the bed, hides under the covers*
*prays to stay safe*

could someone hum so I can drown out my head please?

*Hugs Mousie*

*Hugs Aura*

How is everyone this Sunday?

on a trip for nursing school.... trying to figure out if this is going to be beneficial or not.... I feel more alone than I ever have been, away from my routines and habits... not so much that I am homesick, just that my OCD is really in high gear right now, but I can't clean other peoples stuff.
idk. Maybe it will be a good time away from everyone at home to reset my mind, or maybe I will really go off the deep end this time. Who knows.
*curls up in the corner*

*Hugs Mousie*

hugs everyone. oh crap the pressure keeps piling on. cant cope and i have only myself to blame.trally want to curl up and die.

hugs everyone

*Hugs Jill and Louise.* The two of your should join our fb group. Do you have it? We talk a lot on there now.

*Hugs Jill* Yes you should get with our Facebook group. :)

*Hugs Louise*

*Hugs Lia*