This has set me in a determined mindset , Thanks Lia *Hugs* . I know you weren't ignoring me :) don't worry I was in my bedroom and still on here too .

*hugs ward*
I had a dream about a ward Christmas party at my house last night. It was interesting/funny/awesome.

*Hugs Felicia* That sounds cool !!! How are you hun ?

Back in , well an hour at the most I hope :)

Hey Felicia *hugs* How are you?

Glad I was able to help Mark :) I am no good at wrapping either. It's always a disaster.

*cuddles everyone*

I have to go work soon. It's been snowing again!!! I think we're going to have a dead night boooooooo :(

I don't know how I am at the moment. It's an odd mix between low and not feeling. Eh.

*Hugs Lia*

*Hugs Helen* I hope work go's okay for you :)

*Hugs Felicia* I'm sorry that you are feeling that way :(

It's okay. I'll get through it. I think my mind is just preparing me for the holidays. Have to numb myself up to deal with my mother and stepfamily, ya know?

*Hugs Felicia* You'll be alright. You're stronger than you think. I thought I'd die when she left me, but I didn't. It's been 5 months and I'm alive.

*Hugs Helen* Try to have fun :)

Yeah , I am a bit freaked out by the Holidays to put it mildly , when will I find the privacy to S.I. and keep it clean and secret? ugh I love my family but I'm not sure I want to spend that much time being forced to be merry and festive . We are going over my Sisters Boxing day which should be nice .

It's SO hard to know what to get a Muslim for Christmas , My Brother in law is a Muslim and I got him gardening tools and a Solitare game , some people have got him a Prayer mat and Prayer Beads , he has only been in the country since Last December 1st/2nd so this is his 2nd Christmas .

Hi everyone, I'm back. I feel horrid. Like... Suicidal-and-self-harm-thoughts-are-coming-back-horrid. I'm going to update my page (it's in my signature). I just want you all to know how much I've missed you and love you all. *curls up in the corner*

*Hugs Shad* I'm sorry you feel so awful:( , We are here for you :)

*Hugs Shad* Try to do something to distract yourself from the urges, you're doing really well to have gone this long and think how happy you were when you went 2 months :)

K, i'm all updated now. Can you see the torture I'm going through now?

*Squishes Shad* You're SOOO close to 3 months , Please try and resist those urges, I know how hard and Horrible they are to live with but you can do it . you really can.

I'm trying, I'm trying, I promise :)

I've missed you all SO much! *hugs all round!*

The Random quote on the home page was this , I just thought a lot of us could relate right now :)


"If we weren't all crazy we would go insane"

Jimmy Buffett

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I love Jimmy Buffett. That man has to be my idol.

So... my brother just texted me, brightened my day up. Judging from our text conversation though, the world just isn't ready to handle us on Christmas. haha.