*quickily comes out of her hiding place, jumps on lia and gives her a big bear hug, then runs back in again so noone see's her.*

*Hugs Nicole* Why do you hide?

*Hugs Lia* Whats the matter Lia?

I just thought all that has ended.

*Hugs Nicole and Mark*

You alright Nicole?

*hugs mark and lia*
i'm just really triggerd at the moment, group work scares the crap outta me and i've been having to work on our group project all day with 4 other girls which has been really hard and i'm just fed up now and wanna SH :(

Please try not to Nicole. I know how strong urges can be, but you'll feel so much better in the long run if you resist. Think of how you feel in the morning after you've managed to resist cutting. Strong, like you've won.

I feel terrible today, I'm still kinda fed up of my degree, I mean I can do it, it just seems dull and uninteresting, and I know thats because my brain chemistry is being chewed up by my meds, but I'm scared that I'll fail. Really triggered too, but I refuse to give in. The praise from my counsellor and fiance after not doing so for a week is warming and gives me hope, I just don't know what to do with myself. I realised I want to do something else with my life but now I can't for another 2 years due to my degree and I know I'm not doing great at it and I'm just confused. Sorry.

*Hugs Sarah* Sorry it's not more :S

*feels invisible* not even a hello after not posting for 2 days? :-(

I know i sound really whiny when i say that b/c i know we are all struggling but... *shrug*

nevermind.

*Hugs Laura* Sorry :S I really didn't mean to make you feel invisible , you're not invisible to us here I promise . I'm triggered and not happy that I've been chosen to be examined about my benefits , and pretty scared about that . But still sorry .

That was me being melodramatic. I was upset that I have to do so much revision and it felt like school's beating my ass. But it's midterm week, it's supposed to feel like that. Actually, if I'm completely honest, school keeps me sane... I mean, come on, all I do is lose myself in a story, discuss it, then write about it. It's pretty much heaven.

*hugs Lia*
*hugs Nicole* please don't harm
*hugs Sarah* I'm sorry everything is so confusing
*glomps Laura* I've missed you! I'm sorry everything is so busy and your position isn't explained. I'm sure you'll still rock it though. I'm glad you had a nice weekend with your family. And I agree, one reason to live is enough. <3
*hugs Mark* I'm sorry you're so triggered, dear. You can PM me if you'd like.

As I think I've stated, school is beating my ass. I've had to map out an hour by hour chart of how to get my work done. So I work for Banned Books Week at 3, then my chart starts at 4.... yay.
Oh, and I got 5 books at the book sale today The Da Vinci Code, Angels and Demons, then three incredibly trashy vampire romances. School needs to calm the eff down so I can read them.

hugs everyone

Thinking about you all

*Sigh* Thankyou for the offer of a PM Felicia, I wish I'd read it before I injured can I PM you another time if I get triggered or need a chat again ? I really don't want to make you busier on top of your school work .
Why has the council picked ME to examine housing benefits ?:( I'm worried.

*Hugs Louise* How are you?

Mark, I promise, PMs don't make me any busier. I would love for you to PM me next time you get triggered... or find me on Facebook, I'm always there. Either one works. =)
It could be just a routine examination type thing. I get examined all the time for my Mental Health benefits and such. I wouldn't be too worried. It'll all work out =)

So I just typed out some individuals and my laptop had a hissy, so here we go, this is helpful, keeps me distracted...

*hugs Louise* Thanks, thats really sweet :)

*Snuggles Felicia* Thanks, I know that having it to focus on and having it to go to keeps me sane but I just feel so hopeless sometimes :(

*cuddles Mark* You'll be okay, you're honest and so you have nothing to worry about. I hope you'll be okay though.

*bear hugs Laura* I'm sorry, I didn't read any previous posts before venting :(

*cuddles Lia* Your advice, though not pointed at me, really helped. Thanks, and I know what you mean about the mother situation. Mine can be truly awful with me.

*cuddles Nicole* I hate group work too, and I have so much of it this year :( it really gets to me.

*snuggles anyone I missed*

x

*hides in a hole after giving Laura some big cuddles*

I just wish... oh poop, never mind. :'(

*Bear Hugs April* What do you wish ?......

*cuddles all*

cries

*Cuddles Helen* How are you this evening ?

*Hugs Louise* Whats happened ? Are you okay?