*huggles mark back* thanks... i needed that. :)

sorry for the lack of individual replies, but just wanted to say, crimson, good to see you around again!! i was wondering where you'd gotten off to and was hoping you were okay. *cuddles* also, what level is lurial now? :D

i'm really not doing too well. we had lunch out, and i ate my entire lunch, which is a lot for me... am so full from it yet. then we went on a walk, my idea, for about an hour... then went to my parents' house. i think i managed to hide my fresh cuts from them, even though they are right in a very visible place and not covered by bandages right now. :-S

i'm so tired. like... seriously exhausted. i'm wondering if i'm anemic or if my dehydration is so severe that it's making me fatigued. i really don't know. i haven't been taking vitamins for months but started back up yesterday... i need to text or call my np about that. :-/ anyone in here have any ideas? lol, i know you're not doctors but hey, you might have some insight that i don't...

*hides in the warren*

and i'm going to do it again... r/v has been updated. :-S

morning all it's 8:14 am
i should really go have breakfast hmmm i dont really wanna:pinch:

*sits with* have breakfast sweetie, it'll give you energy for the day *nod*

Morning Julie :-)

yeah... surviving. i think lurial is lvl 25 now.... 24 or 25 anyhow... haven't played in a few. i'll probably play some tonight. get my mind off everything. wow and facebook are my plans. i should add you guys eventually :hehe: hard to catch you online for wow when i am at home :P but then for all i know you're on but on another server:satisfied:

*huggles julie* make you a deal you eat something for breakfast and i'll eat something for lunch, yeah?

april - read your r/v thought i should say something but no pearly marbles left i'm afraid in this mind of mine... though anemia and water are probably the culprit together regarding your dizziness and fatigue. *cuddles*

*tackles mark* how are you today?

Triggered Crimson , I had to get out of bed as I was biting my arm !! I used to do that years ago I guess it's a form of S.I. .
Anxious about my rent ,
AND
Depresed just because my brain wants to depress me these past couple of weeks , * Sigh*

*Tackles Crimson back*

hi everyone. Sorry, no big replies or anything..

I just wanted to slip on and basically say 'i'm alright'. been just getting on with every day life, had to in a way.:::::POTENTIAL TRIGGER WARNING:suicide::::: attempted su on thursday morning, poor attempt, however enough to wave the red flag to tell me to shut down for a bit. i think im alright now. too numb to feel anything.

I wont be about for a while, not sure how long. i'm into hospital tommorrow morning to have my gallbladder whipped out. supposed to be day surgery, but we'll see.

take care everyone, and remember i'm thinking of/praying for (delete where appropriate) all of you. lots of love.

Oh Kat:( I hope you feel better soon ,
AND
Good luck with your gall bladder surgery tomorow , I hope it go's smoothly :) *Hugs*

thanks mark *hugs back* i'm sure the op'll be fine...if not ..at least its a good distraction anyway, stops me wanting to kill a certian C*** of a Pedo who currently has more access to my niece and nephew than I do...B*****!........helps with the depression too... i have something uncontrollable/unstoppable to focus on.

Yeah , just foucs on your Op and it will be over before you knows it:) I personally coulden't tell you where your gall bladder was :S good job I'm not opourating (Spelling?) *Goodnight Hugs* I'll be thinking of you tommorow morning

right hand side just under the ribcage, snuggled in just below the liver...lol...:) (it's operating *gentle smile*) G'night mark, I appreciate the thoughts *warm hugs*

feel so low... :'(

just took a step back into my past and it makes me so sad. shouldn't've done that, bad april.

all i want to do is die, or fast-forward my life to a better time...

:crying:

*cuddles Mark, April and Kat* wish there was something i could do for everybody.

*hugs all*

*hops up and down on one foot*

*sits in a corner and reads for awhile, trying to calm down*

i'm so ****ing uptight.... why can't i relax and be like a "normal" person?! :'(

and... updated r/v again.

haha.

sorry. :-/

*cuddles april*
your friend is right... if they are only seeing you once every 2 weeks and you need more support than that either see if they'll see you more often or find someone who will.

*cuddles all* sorry I'm doing rubbishly at individual replies atm

had a good time with my gf today, then we ended up having a serious chat tonight, started off me bloody stressing about the kissing issue, then we ended up talking about loads of stuff, she has been through so much, its hard trying to be there for her and go through my own stuff, but I guess it means we understand in a way, she used to SH in the past, has been free for a number of months now, and she is really fine with the trans stuff, but again there are issues there, which I won't go into here, but I'm glad we had the chat, but its left me feeling just sort of numb.

*wonders off into the dark*