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-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

PoisonedApple 07-05-2010 06:06 PM

sorry but this is mostly going to be general instead of directed individual replies...
laura- I know exactly what you mean...i'm considering moving to a place neither d nor i have family so i can have space and a new start for my family and be who i feel i am not who others feel i should be but we shall see, with the economy as shitty as it is that probably won't happen any time soon... i think a fresh start is exactly what u and i need :)

now on to more general points of conversation.... no one in here is worthless or pointless or useless. i value all of you and care about all of you. *huggles everyone tight*
yes you can go through with a separate tab open for typing a reply... but i never remember this fact on the days i need something like that done to reply to people... oh the irony.
for those who expressed concern i am feeling a little better my migraine is almost gone and the fever and upset stomach seems to have been caused mostly by the office heat/ac malfunctioning and making the building hotter than it should have been. its still out of whack today since the repair guy can't come in till tomorrow but i'll be out of the office a few times today so the temp in the high 30s to 40s should even it out a bit and make me feel less ill.
ok i think that's all i can be arsed to say for now. i'm sure there was something else i was gonna say but aw hell i can't even be arsed to capitalize anything today *shrugs*
c'est le vie (hopes for correct spellings)

PoisonedApple 07-05-2010 06:09 PM

mark- sorry bout not replying to your last post (twas while i was slowly typing my other post)...
have you spoken to them about it yet?
am glad you like wow. what realm are you on? might try again this weekend for using my desktop and wowing...

Doikers 07-05-2010 06:22 PM

Crimson , I Stupidly put off that phonecall , I just got too anxious , I really dislike making official phone calls . On Monday I'll call my SW to get in touch with my Psych Dr who can send a letter to my GP who should THEN give me some meds . Complicated much?
Sorry , I'm really wound up , they are just jerking me around , it happens all the time , I thought , I really THOUGHT that it was sorted out but nooo.
The Dr's just don't seem to care about me .

Also .

My WoW Character is on Darkspear realm , and my WoW character is named Doikers . Maybe we can play sometime . Hayley is on that realm too , I hope it's ok to pass that on

lynx 07-05-2010 06:41 PM

Oh god this is bad. Last thing from outside I heard was the door being closed/made noise with (prob by the wind.) First thought: "There's a burglar in this house and he's going to rape me." Now I'm crying.


lynx 07-05-2010 06:48 PM

I calmed down. Writing stuff down helps.

xxjuliexx 07-05-2010 06:49 PM


PoisonedApple 07-05-2010 07:13 PM

It's ok Mark I dislike and put off phone calls too. Hope they can get it worked out quickly for you. *hugs* I'll definitely try to get a char started on Darkspear.
*cuddles Lynx*
Good morning Julie.
*wanders through the ward huggling peoples*

*Jackie* 07-05-2010 07:27 PM

-sits rocking in the corner-

sleep, i wish i could sleep

Doikers 07-05-2010 07:29 PM

*Hugs Tineke* That must have been horrible for you , I'm glad you calmed down , how are you now?

*Waves* Hi Julie , how are you?

*Hugs Crimson*

Ugh SO Triggered , I eat too much and now I feel gross , Stress , I eat more when I'm under stress *Resolves to a sensible eating over the weekend*
I really wanna cut,*sigh*
I'll try WoW to distract myself , at least I have that now :)

frenchhorn 07-05-2010 07:33 PM

*hugs all who want hugs*

I'm off out for a drink with a friend, hope that will take my mind off things for a bit, just filling in special circumstance form to get uni work deferred, not fun, I feel so pathetic for getting it deferred.

*grumbles in a corner for a bit*

Doikers 07-05-2010 07:57 PM

*Hugs Oliver* You are NOT pathetic , not at all , you are an awesome person , have fun out with your friend !!

Doikers 07-05-2010 08:01 PM

it's only ( Almost ) 8pm , too early for bed methinks but I just wanna sleep or I'll end up cutting , I can feel it,
Night Night Ward mates , look after each other :)
I've had a (partly) Hinky day , Hooray for the word Hinky !

nicole94 07-05-2010 08:05 PM

*walks round ward and hugs everyone, then goes off to find a nice hiding spot*

Doikers 07-05-2010 08:06 PM

Hey Nicole *Hugs*

lynx 07-05-2010 08:07 PM

*Hugs everyone*

I'm in between feeling nothing at all and feeling everything at once. It's incredibly how big the leaps are which the human mind can take in a couple of hours. I was numb yesterday, I'm very wary now.

I had a hot shower and it helped. I sang from the top of my lungs and it helped.

I'm tired. I hope I'll be able to study some Finnish later this evening. First I'll clean up the kitchen then probably communicate with parents.


nicole94 07-05-2010 08:12 PM

heyah mark. you ok? i'm feeling pretty crappy. mum keeps nagging at me to clean the kitchen, because i didnt go to school i'm expected to do all the housework. i just cant be botherd with anything anymore, i'm constantly tired, but i just CANT get to sleep at night :(
(sorry, that was a bit of a rant)

Strawberry.Bananas 07-05-2010 11:01 PM

He's ended it again! :'(

I'm not safe.

I need help.



frenchhorn 07-05-2010 11:05 PM

*hugs vicki* whats happened?

Strawberry.Bananas 07-05-2010 11:09 PM

I don't know. He said that he thinks that I've wanted to be with somebody else (my mate Tony) since we got back together, and that we've not been getting on recently. It's not true. It's not. And now I've lost him! :'(

frenchhorn 07-05-2010 11:10 PM

*hugs Vicki* sorry I havn't got any words of advice

PoisonedApple 07-05-2010 11:14 PM

*hugs Vicki*

frenchhorn 07-05-2010 11:44 PM

*jumps around a bit* I am 20 in 15minutes, no longer can I use the excuse, but I'm a teenager :(

Scarletdreamer 07-05-2010 11:58 PM

Happy birthday, Oliver!! :D I remember turning 20... lol... it was interesting not having that excuse anymore. :P But I liked being older. How are you doing? *cuddles* Anything special for your birthday?

*cuddles Crimson* How're you doing, love? Oh, and I don't think that we in the States can make toons on the EU realms on WoW, so neither of us can play on Darkspear. :( But what about us playing on a realm? we could probably work something out somehow, although we're on opposite sides of the States... lol.

*cuddles Vicki* Sorry sweet, no words of advice, but plenty of cuddles where those came from. Only one question though - objectively are you sure that you "lost" him? *more cuddles* That is, if you can be objective at the moment.

I'm so tired, I really am. :( Just want to go to bed. My eyes are gluey and heavy but we just ate supper so no going to bed just yet. Boo hiss. :( I even took a nap today, but I didn't really fall all the way asleep. GRRRR.

I have no idea what I want to do... :(

*hides in a hole*

frenchhorn 08-05-2010 12:06 AM

thanks April, I'm doing ok actually, had an ok day, went to my building society to tell them off my name change, thought it would be complicated, but no just filled in a form and was told my new cards will arrive in a few days.
I am going to TREC, my monthly trans group and then going out for a meal with a few friends after.

*cuddles April* sorry you feel so tired and cant go to bed yet, that really does suck, can you do something relaxing, which doesn't require much energy.

Scarletdreamer 08-05-2010 12:19 AM

*cuddles Oliver* I'll try and do something relaxing... currently am "browsing" online... lol... will probably end up buying something though!! even though I shouldn't... hrmmph.

I spy a Kahlia!! *cuddles*

I think I'm going to go read in a bit... want to read some more before bed as I am starting Reading Lolita in Tehran by Azar Nafisi; the subtitle is "a memoir in books" and it's a LOVELY book thus far. It's about Iranian women, a group of 7 Iranian students and an Iranian literature professor, reading forbidden books under the extreme regime of the time (recently). Sadly, my concentration is still not up to snuff so I don't read a lot at a time... but I can still get really involved in books, if I manage to make it past 10 minutes or so, which is good. :)


MammaMia 08-05-2010 12:28 AM

*cuddles everyone*

Happy Birthday Oliverrrrrrr :D

frenchhorn 08-05-2010 12:32 AM

*cuddles April* I know what you mean with concentration thing, I used to be able to read books so quickly, but now I end up having to read over bits again because I just completely stopped concentrating, which is really annoying.
hope you get some of your book read and have a good night sleep.

*cuddles Kahlia, I spy you*

Thanks Helen *hugs* how are you? did you go out tonight?

Scarletdreamer 08-05-2010 12:41 AM

Totally stupid me, just ordered things and put the opposite zipcodes on the billing and shipping addresses... FEEL SO DUMB!!!!!! Hopefully the site will get it sorted somehow... :-/

MammaMia 08-05-2010 12:43 AM

Bless you April. Not stupid though.

Oliver, you're welcome *hugs* I did go out tonight...

SoMuchMore 08-05-2010 12:43 AM

*hugs kahlia* im sorry that your suicide urges are so bad, please dont act on them. Its good that you can fight your SI urges off most of the time though. It can be so hard sometimes.

*hugs mark* im glad that your liking WOW, ive never been into video games but all this talk has intrigued me a little lol. Im sorry about your meds, thats pretty bad that they are not refilling your prescription. I have a really hard time with phone calls too so dont feel too badly about that.

*hugs crimson* the economy really does make it hard to move around, i justify mine b/c its technically for graduate school heh so hopefully ill get some financial aid which will definitely help. Im glad that you are feeling less sick today. I feel like lots of people are getting sick right now.. no good.

*hugs helen* hope that you have fun going out tonight. Im sry that you were upset earlier. I also SPY YOU! :)

*throw some confetti* happy birthday oliver! i like being in my 20s better than a teenager i think.

*hugs april* Your post did make sense. I think its more about me wanting to be "seen" around others too though, b/c when i am by myself i do what i want, within reason of course.
Im sorry that you are so tired, sometimes all i want to do is sleep too. Your book sounds interesting tho. I cant wait to do more reading this summer.
You are definitely not stupid for mixing up the zip codes.. its just a mistake, it happens.

*hugs little laura, tineke, vicki, hayley, nicole julie and anyone i missed*

I hope a fresh start is what i need. Im not feeling much better today, but i guess im surviving. Hoping to keep busy tonight.. distracted anyway.

MammaMia 08-05-2010 12:47 AM

I don't want to feel like this :'(

frenchhorn 08-05-2010 12:48 AM

*hugs April* your not stupid, I managed to stick a stamp on the back of an envelope once, now that was stupid. I always get very confused when ordering anything off american sites as all the different words confuse me, so I think i put the wrong stuff in all the boxes, but everything has always arrived, so I'm sure it will be fine.

*hugs Helen* how was it?

thanks Laura *hugs* sorry your still not feeling great, I hope a fresh start helps.

*hugs Julie, JK, Nicole, Crimson, Tineke, Mark,Vicki, Hayley, Kahlia, little Laura*

MammaMia 08-05-2010 12:52 AM

It was really good thank you. Except my low mood wouldn't go away.

frenchhorn 08-05-2010 12:53 AM

I'm glad it was good, but I'm sorry about your low mood.

I also went out tonight, met a friend and had a couple of drinks on Canal Street, we just sat and chatted, was nice.

MammaMia 08-05-2010 12:55 AM

Sounds good.

Scarletdreamer 08-05-2010 12:57 AM

*hides in shame* :o


MammaMia 08-05-2010 12:59 AM

Why hiding April? Nothing to be ashamed about?

SoMuchMore 08-05-2010 01:07 AM

April - I agree with helen. Theres nothing to be ashamed of. Please dont hide b/c of the mix up.

*hugs helen* sorry about your low mood.

*hugs oliver* glad you had a nice time going out.

frenchhorn 08-05-2010 01:12 AM

*hugs April* why u hiding in shame?

Kahlia1981 08-05-2010 01:45 AM

*hugs all - with the usual addendum*

Sorry I just breezed in here before without saying anything. I just quickly jumped in to catch up on my reading.

I haven't told my housemate about the level of the suicidal urges/thoughts. He knows that I'm having them, but doesn't know that they are as bad as they are. I've started to put a plan together and I know what I need to get to put it into action, and I've worked out the how/when/where situation. I don't know, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have brought this up. I'll get through it, I always do. *sigh*

I hope everyone is doing okay.
*big hugs* for those who want/need them
*throws confetti but stays away from any balloon type things (latex allergy) for Oliver's birthday*

PoisonedApple 08-05-2010 01:47 AM

quick replies...
happy birthday oliver!
april - i dunno if we can play other places realms or not lol as for us playing i'll let ya know when i get my desktop up and running and we shall try to coordinate times and such :)
The following content has been hidden - Reason : shopping rambling
i just spent a long bit of time looking up makeup stuffs... i still have makeup (and makeup case) from high school through present... i wanna go through it and toss the old stuff and give away stuff i won't use (like the pink stuff... i look awful in pink anything) and buy new stuff i'll actually be willing to wear. i would like to wear makeup everyday and look nice but most of the colors i look good in i'm about out of lol.
now the bad side... to get everything i'd use (whole face worth of makeup) from urban decay would cost me 432$; from mac would cost 413$ (excluding makeup case since i want one that doesn't scream 'middle school kid'); and bare minerals would cost 353$. who would have though bare minerals to be the cheapest? but then bare minerals doesn't have eyebrow stuffs to make my eyebrows look nice. i love urban decay stuff (always have) but with their eye shadow sets i'd have like 6 colors i wouldn't use... maybe i should mix n match what i need and see what that costs... either way i'll have to wait to buy it. *shrugs and wanders off to think*

Kahlia1981 08-05-2010 01:51 AM

Crimson: Makeup can be a royal pain. I have serious allergies so only wear makeup on stage, but it can be so damn expensive, not to mention getting only what you want/need! I hear you on that one.

PoisonedApple 08-05-2010 02:14 AM

Yeah... I was trying this new outlook thing... wear makeup (i'm only allergic to wool and bees :) ) and smile and pretend until i feel happy... i think the theory of the person that recommended this to me was that i'll feel better about me when other people compliment and appreciate me... but then i looked in and at my makeup box and just felt like throwing it box and all off my balcony lol

*edit* le sigh mix and matching i ended up with it costing 392$. eyeshadow wise i love the custom palette from mac but that's 179$ by itself. i may just go with bare minerals and see about getting my custom palette of 15 eye shadows later on ... like next year :)

mouse in darkness 08-05-2010 03:37 AM

*Bounces in hugs anyone who would like a hug*

Happy birthday Oliver.

It is nice to try new things angelic monster (not sure of your name sorry)

Sorry if haven't replied to everyone bit of a scatter brain thismorning. Gotta go befor I get kicked off by housemates.

Hope everyone has a nice day/ night.

Jetforce 08-05-2010 05:56 AM

Hey..hope everybody is keeping well

*leaves some hugs and some snakes behind*

xxjuliexx 08-05-2010 06:39 AM

*whines alots and lots*

lynx 08-05-2010 07:49 AM

Happy birthday Oliver!

*Hugs everyone*

I'm going to work then I'm off to Ghent so you won't hear from me all weekend. I'll be OK though, I'll be at Tom's.

xxjuliexx 08-05-2010 07:50 AM

*husg lynx*how a good weekend hun

xxjuliexx 08-05-2010 07:56 AM

happy birthday oliver
happy birthday oliver
happy birthday oliver
happy birthday oliver

Kahlia1981 08-05-2010 08:30 AM

*offers hugs to all who want/can accept them*

Feel really bleh. Talked to my housemate about my su stuff. We're trying to work something out.

*leaves some safe hugs and some no-cal chocolate on the table*

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